178 days. Without. A haircut. So Bossy scheduled an appointment in New York City because Bossy has court documentation that proves no one within 112 miles of these can cut Bossy’s hair without making her cry like a newborn.
And here’s why: Bossy has frizzy hair. And not just frizzy but frizzizzley. Which is why Bossy was so happy three years ago when she met a hairdresser named Antonio because he is from Italy and because when you’re in his chair he says stuff like, “Jew moss learn to embraze jour eenair curlz.” Also? He invented a hair product line called Curlfriends. And he works 113 miles away from this.
So Bossy woke up super early in order to catch the first train in her Six Train Day:
Bossy knows that it takes
Amtrak the cheap transit trains three and a half hours to reach a city two hours away, which is why Bossy was so smart to buy herself juicy magazines to read the day before!
Before Bossy knew it she was changing trains again:
This was the luckiest train of all because
the Devil Incarnate a really nice woman situated herself directly in front of Bossy and proceeded to stand and shout orders across the train to her friends. For an hour.
Which was actually preferable to what happened next: The woman got on her cell phone. All Bossy can say is, “Wow” — because Bossy never realized that Sub Zero refrigerators come with integrated over-under invisible fingerprint cabinet doors.
Bossy did her best to ignore the lady and instead focus on the breathtaking scenery:
And that’s not the only thing Bossy saw. She also saw this:
But soon the train pulled into Penn Station and Bossy walked three hundred blocks to her hair appointment. Once in the salon Bossy settled in the back where her favorite colorist Fran prepared Bossy’s
oxidated phenylenediamine sun-kissed highlights and enthusiastically agreed to a “before” photo shoot:
And then Bossy was left alone to mull her innermost thoughts.
And also to steal a photo of Antonio’s workstation:
After approximately six hours Bossy’s hair was rinsed and she was ready for her haircut — which is the moment
Bossy’s readers reader has been waiting for: Friends Friend: may Bossy introduce to you… Antonio:
Two hours later Bossy’s cut was complete and she was back in the train station — and lucky thing she remembered to walk over to the Penn Station magazine stand before her long journey home:
By the way: How did Bossy’s hair turn out? Kind of blurry: