Remember Bossy’s sexy math teacher, Eljo Kuslasik? Well. Through the miracle of dysfunctional fixation Google, Bossy’s husband located his email address.
So readers reader, Bossy is looking for your guidance:
Should Bossy email Eljo Kuslasik and send him a link to her teacher post? In Bossy’s husband’s opinion, any teacher would be thrilled to learn he was so beloved and remembered by his students. Also Bossy’s husband is trying to dump Bossy on the first retired person who will have her.
If Bossy should not email Eljo Kuslasik, why?
But if so, what should Bossy do about the following problems:
- Bossy called Eljo Kuslasik’s wife mousy.
- Bossy now remembers that Eljo Kuslasik drove an Oldsmobile Cutlass and not a Gran Torino.
Bossy awaits your informed opinions.
Evolving says
December 7, 2007 at 10:08 amWELL. Since I am the first to comment, my opinion is the only one that counts, right? HA!
I have “balls what are made of steel” (which loosely translates to “I ritually make an idiot of myself”) and so I advocate emailing him. I mean, seriously. You’re married, he’s married (even if she is mousey) what’s the worst that could happen? Wife Swap?
All Adither says
December 7, 2007 at 10:09 amEdit your post. Then do it! Do! It! Do! It! Do! It!
I’d be too scared, but you are BOSSY!
Nancy says
December 7, 2007 at 10:10 amHell yeah I’d e-mail him … he’ll see the car correction on this post =)
Pocklock says
December 7, 2007 at 10:10 amDo it! Stalking is so flattering!
chocolatechic says
December 7, 2007 at 10:11 amEmail the poor man.
Nancy says
December 7, 2007 at 10:11 amPS I wouldn’t edit a thing, but I’m sure you wouldn’t anyway =)
Barbara says
December 7, 2007 at 10:13 amI’m going with two assumptions…
1) Most people google themselves from time to time.
2) Most girls have had at least one crush on at least one teacher at some point.
I think you should e-mail him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he found it sooner or later whether you e-mail him or not, unless you didn’t use his real name. And he may even know you had a crush on him back then.
Carrie says
December 7, 2007 at 10:17 amFor the sake of blog entertainment, email him. If you want to preserve your dignity and have no restraining orders on your record, throw that address away!
Megan says
December 7, 2007 at 10:18 amDo it! If anything your readers will get a kick out of his response. I am sure he would be flattered to hear from you.
Biddy says
December 7, 2007 at 10:22 amas an experienced stalker heh, i say go for it! i think Eljo Kuslasik would get a good laugh from the boss lady. and so what if you called her mousy? bossy only speaks the truth!
erin says
December 7, 2007 at 10:29 amWhen a girl is in the state of a crush, she would call Pamela Anderson Lee mousy.
Email him!
Dory says
December 7, 2007 at 10:42 amOMG, Bossy, you gotta do it! Please please please! I shall be waiting with bated breath for the ensuing hilarity!!!!
p.s. dammit. The blog police pulled me over for excessive use of exclamation points. I’m sitting here on the shoulder of the Intarweb waiting for him to write out my ticket.
Grandma J says
December 7, 2007 at 10:43 amDon’t give it a second thought! Email Eljo Kuslasik. He will probably be thrilled and might even thank you.
After all these years he might be wondering what ever happen to BOSSY! The car thing…I’m sure it will bring back fond memories, the mousy wife? For all you know she might be long gone.
I can’t wait to see the on-line interview between you and Eljo Kuslasik. Maybe, if he agrees (like John Cusack did), you can do a YouTube with him….and Stella.
Jenni says
December 7, 2007 at 10:43 amI agree with Biddy. She could have been drop-dead gorgeous, and you would have looked through those green eyes and seen butt-ugly. Anyway, if she has any personality at all, she’ll get a great kick out of knowing her hubby was such hot stuff.
Bobo says
December 7, 2007 at 10:46 amI agree,email him. Why is Bossys husband trying to give her away to a retired person? IM semi retired, I can take you part time.
Mrs. Cusack says
December 7, 2007 at 10:46 amEmail him, anything to keep you away from my husband Johnny (did you hear that on Actor’s Studio? He’s called JOHNNY) Cusack.
And don’t edit Elmo Kutstothequick’s post. If you do, you’re not Bossy. You’re Wussy.
joeinvegas says
December 7, 2007 at 10:50 amSorry, going against the grain here. Leave the poor guy alone. The past is past, keep your memories, you don’t want to see a potential old fat bald guy. Even worse, he may still be hot.
K says
December 7, 2007 at 10:51 amDo it.
But, tell us what happens – please.
K says
December 7, 2007 at 10:52 amDoes Bossy realize that she is advertising for Thai women on her blog?
I know that BOssy isn’t selling them herself, of course, but ewww.
Momo Fali says
December 7, 2007 at 10:55 amI once called someone mousy, and after my husband had a few beers, he told her I had actually called her a “mole”. What? I think I like Bossy’s husband more than mine. Mine would NEVER look up the e-mail of a former crush…AND, he can’t even keep his rodents straight.
David says
December 7, 2007 at 11:00 amIf you do email him, don’t attach the JPEG of the boiled rabbit.
Emma says
December 7, 2007 at 11:01 amYou might as well e-mail him. If he has a Google Alert on his name, he’s probably already read the post anyway. 😉
Anonymous says
December 7, 2007 at 11:01 amActually the only “iffy” part of BOSSY’S blog entry was:
Bossy wanted Eljo Kuslasik to denominate her numerator.
Will he find that as funny as I did? Maybe!
Avitable says
December 7, 2007 at 11:18 amI’m infallible. You know this.
And I say email him.
sue says
December 7, 2007 at 11:22 amI commented and got lost somewhere, so I’ll try again:
Bossy, you CAN’T email him. That’s what your loyal readers are for. See, we email him and tell him you kinda like him. Then he emails us and tells us he thinks you’re kinda cute. Then we all go into the internet Ladies Room and have a long discussion. Then we email him and tell him you might be at the game tonight. Then he emails us and tells us he might be at the game too, by the concession stand. Then we all go into the internet Ladies Room and have a long discussion. THEN… it’s time to decide what you’ll wear.
mp says
December 7, 2007 at 11:22 amEmail him..he was hot for you too..I just no it. He divorced the mousy wife cause he was pining for Bossy…so he doesn’t care about that..and the car thing?? You corrected it already.!.
Nilsa S. says
December 7, 2007 at 11:25 amAs your one and only READER (thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!), I think you should send Eljo a link to THIS post, not the other one. Let him figure it all out. He may forgive you for calling his wife mousy when he learns your husband is practically giving you away. That’s illegal in some states, right?
Hilary says
December 7, 2007 at 11:25 amMrs. Mousy Joels would probably get a kick out of knowing her husband was the object of your affection. Mousy, despite the image we all seem to harbour, really only means timid. I say go for it.
Alice says
December 7, 2007 at 11:41 ami say go for it, but purely because i’m selfish and want to see his response 🙂
martha says
December 7, 2007 at 11:46 amThe first thing I did when I finished reading your post yesterday was look up “Eljo Kuslasik” on Google and found NOTHING. I’d love to know more about him…
Andi says
December 7, 2007 at 11:47 amI wouldn’t do it, but, go for it!!
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants says
December 7, 2007 at 11:49 amYES, You must. It would make his year!
Also, When do we EVER get to learn if you EVER got any Dooce love?
Inquiring minds & Bossy stalkers want to know!
Manic Mommy says
December 7, 2007 at 11:50 amI want you to do it just for my reading pleasure.
Doin’ some math here but I’m guessing he’s in his mid-50s by now? I’d be flattered. Unless he’s like Sean Connery and eternally hot, in which case he’ll be all like, “hey Mousy, got another one…”
Manic Mommy says
December 7, 2007 at 11:51 amAgain, doing the math:
John Cusak + Dooce + Eljo Kuslasik = Bossy is A++ Stalker.
imstell says
December 7, 2007 at 11:58 amHello? You can put a Google alert on your name? I must know the hows of this. Oh, yeah… Bossy. Do it and soon! I can’t stand the suspense. And could you have your dear husband look up some old highschool crushes for me. I could send him a list.
Dara says
December 7, 2007 at 12:27 pmoh, you know you wanna do it.
retired teacher’s salary?
sweet.
I double dog dare ya to do it.
BOSSY says
December 7, 2007 at 12:27 pmComplimentary reminder: Eljo Kuslasik is the teacher’s name Scrambled. Think: word jumble. So he can’t Google Reader Alert Search Thingie McWhatever and find the post on his own. This complimentary reminder has been brought to you by (burp.)
jessicab says
December 7, 2007 at 12:49 pmI think he would be flattered and probably get a big kick out of it. You could edit the mousy part if you wanted but I am sure he would realize that you were 15 at the time and wanted him so of course the wife was the enemy.
Bon Don says
December 7, 2007 at 12:54 pmGo for it…how fun! 🙂
meleah rebeccah says
December 7, 2007 at 12:54 pmgo for it. email him.
Strizz says
December 7, 2007 at 1:25 pmI say screw it and do it. Leave the mistakes and mousy in. Bossy has big balls.
Julie Pippert says
December 7, 2007 at 1:28 pmThe total stranger says: go, email, link…make his day (I think).
Julie
Using My Words
http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com
Laurie Foolery says
December 7, 2007 at 1:41 pmIf you’re truly conflicted about this you’ll need to send the usedta-mousy wife a little gift — in the form of your most unflattering post about yourself. For a peace offering. Perhaps the post in which you describe your sleep attire and pancake boobs t-shirt?
Not that I don’t think you’re fabulous, of course, in a completely unstalkerish blogger girl-crush sorta way, ’cause as long as that doesn’t creep you out, then, I do, maybe. Am I digging too deep a hole for myself here?
The Domestic Goddess says
December 7, 2007 at 1:47 pmI say go for it. It’s not like yer gonna see him, right?
madmad says
December 7, 2007 at 2:06 pmI can totally see where the car differences would pose a major hurdle to your emailing him. So, yeah. I guess not, then.
Jason says
December 7, 2007 at 2:08 pmI would email him. I think he would be proud of his prized pupil.
Oh, cool car. Was it a low rider? That would be hawt!
Have The T-Shirt says
December 7, 2007 at 2:19 pmNo brainer….email him reminding him that you, being a gifted and talented writer, took some liberties with the facts. Any writer knows that the facts get in the way of a good story and all.
Facts are merely suggestions.
The Hunter's Wife says
December 7, 2007 at 2:21 pmCute story and great blog.
Maybe you can do an interview with him here for all to see!
Whit says
December 7, 2007 at 2:37 pmdo it on Springer!
Elaine says
December 7, 2007 at 2:52 pmNo! Not just no, but emphatically no! You should keep the memories untarnished and not set yourself up for disappointment. Also, it might come off as stalkerish! Then again, maybe just e-mail him to say hi but not link to the post? Nope, still gotta go with my first instinct on this one! Don’t do it!
Wendy says
December 7, 2007 at 3:12 pmDO IT!! Hopefully, he doesn’t still have the car.
wreckless says
December 7, 2007 at 3:15 pmIf Mr. bossy won’t have a fit-maybe
If it wouldn’t lead anyone of you to cheat or think about it-ok
bottom line-way too risky. I vote no.
I am a guy and I struggle.
On the other hand men love the ego boost-He could probably handle it.
How’s that for wishy washy?
Suzi says
December 7, 2007 at 3:28 pmWhen you meet him by the concession stand at the game, don’t forget to tuck a handerchief up your sleeve. It is cold out and you don’t want him to see you with a runny nose…
Lulu says
December 7, 2007 at 3:38 pmI don’t know Bossy-pants. Some memories are best left in the past. I’m the scared weinie-type, so I say fly.
Dear God, make Bossy a bird. So she could fly far. Far far away from here.
sarcasm abounds says
December 7, 2007 at 3:54 pmI’m of the “devil may care” variety. Send away and let the chips fall where they may.
Any response will no doubt be highly thrilling to Bossy. And her readers. . .
SA
Deb on the Rocks says
December 7, 2007 at 3:55 pmThis calls for an in-person-with-video-camera-crew visit(and maybe even Joey Greco along to counsel you if any emotions implode.)
Ree says
December 7, 2007 at 3:55 pmHis name is Jokes Sullaki?
Complimentary reminder: Eljo Kuslasik is the teacher’s name Scrambled. Think: word jumble
Well, then, he ought to be able to handle Bossy. 😉
qt says
December 7, 2007 at 4:00 pmHmmm -this one is tough, but I have to say on this one? I would NOT email him.
But that is just my 2 cents.
Kristen says
December 7, 2007 at 4:46 pmDO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
Hotdog says
December 7, 2007 at 4:49 pmI’d go for it if i were you. I’d just edit out the child molestation beginning if I were you. lol
Diane says
December 7, 2007 at 5:05 pmI would not do it. I once called my ex husband to make peace and wish well. I still have nightmares. And this junior high stuff.
Sometimes it’s better to just wonder….
cerebralmum says
December 7, 2007 at 5:19 pmFirst, whack husband upside the head for not just emailing it himself and leaving you with a fait accompli. Then do it.
As for him finding it by googling, if he’s still teaching it’s far more likely that his students will find it first. Surely he needs to be warned? Gee, what a good excuse for contacting him…
Tricia says
December 7, 2007 at 5:39 pmEmail him! Tell him that you just included the mousy part for laughs! Laughs!
sparx says
December 7, 2007 at 5:57 pmWell, I’m on tenterhooks to find out if you get in touch or not. Clearly the straw poll is IN!
dexter says
December 7, 2007 at 6:02 pmI still want to know why Bossys husband is trying to give her away to the first retarded person that will have her?
Mrs. Chicky says
December 7, 2007 at 7:06 pmFer chrissake, email him. Maybe he’s still got that car. Rwaar.
Muskego Jeff says
December 7, 2007 at 7:14 pmI don’t see how you could ever confuse a Gran Torino with an Oldsmobile. Are you sure he was even your teacher? Your eye for details is suspect in my mind.
ali says
December 7, 2007 at 7:20 pmyou MUST email him!!
soNOTcool says
December 7, 2007 at 9:52 pmWhich ever provides better blog fodder!
Denise says
December 7, 2007 at 9:53 pmCareful– there are dangers. I wrote to my old teacher six years ago and now we’re married!
annie says
December 7, 2007 at 10:26 pmCheck the Sex Offender lists first. Maybe he eventually took a student up on her offer; Bossy wouldn’t want to invite a pedophile to dinner, would you?
Kevbear says
December 7, 2007 at 11:22 pmEmail him Bossy, invite him to read the most popular Blog since stalking was the in thing. Then when he is hooked invite him to dindin and make some yummy broccoli ummmm… whatever it was…
Meghan says
December 7, 2007 at 11:48 pmFirst of all, annie’s comment had me on the floor I was laughing so hard.
Also, I’m guessing some of your readers skimmed and missed the part about his name being scrambled. Though, wouldn’t it be cool if his name actually was Eljo? If we have another boy, I’m thinking of using it. Or Joel, because that’s a cool name too.
Write the man. Don’t edit ANYTHING.
Mrs. G. says
December 8, 2007 at 12:13 amNope.
Mrs. G. says
December 8, 2007 at 12:15 amNo way, Jose.
Mrs. G. says
December 8, 2007 at 12:15 amDon’t do it.
we_be_toys says
December 8, 2007 at 12:39 amif bossy’s husband is ok with it, and bossy is ok with it, then I’m ok with it….so, uh, OK.
Wait. There’s not going to be a video on youtube about this, is there?
Definitely going to have to edit out the mousy thing before emailing.
Haley-O says
December 8, 2007 at 12:41 amAbsolutely go for it!
Claudia says
December 8, 2007 at 1:34 amAll right. I just can’t even believe no one else is flabbergasted – and I mean, totally splayed out, sticking a needle in the vein, eyes, rolling back – SHOCKED – that you didn’t know the difference between a Gran Torino and a Cutlass. That Gran Torino was probably carrying a 351 c.i. and could do zero to 60 before I could reach around to scratch my sad ass…..That having been said, what do you have to lose? Give the guy a thrill. Like his car could have given if it had been a Gran Torino.
Melanie says
December 8, 2007 at 2:31 amI’ve gotta say: I agree with Mrs. G upstream.
It seems like a good idea, and it most certainly would make great material, but don’t do it. Leave those hazy, stardust memories alone. Let sleeping junior high math teachers lie.
Logan says
December 8, 2007 at 8:45 amEmail him…
Sweet Cutlass.
Dr, Monkey says
December 8, 2007 at 9:10 amLet that part of the past stay in the past. Although you remained hot, he will have gotten older and fatter. I’m begging you, don’t do it.
Donna from mid Michigan says
December 8, 2007 at 9:17 amWho Cares if Bossy’s husband is ok with it?
YIKES!
OF course you should EMAIL Joel. We know you already did and are holding out on the results for us!
dgm says
December 8, 2007 at 11:54 amThe part of me that enjoys blog fodder says DO IT! But the part of me that wonders whether he’s turned out to be a creepy old guy who wanted to sleep with Bossy AND her mother AND FATHER says…NAH!
dgm says
December 8, 2007 at 12:01 pmOr maybe I’m just jealous I’ve never been able to locate my first true love, my high school English teacher. He was a big surfer man who braved the waves in San Francisco back when no one else did. Mrrrow! His name was Bill Holden, so a Google search just brings up that old wrinkly actor man.
Claire B says
December 8, 2007 at 12:14 pmI had a high school sociology teacher who inspired me to listen very closely to that Police song, too.
He gave me an A.
Do it. He’ll get a kick out of it. We’re all older and it will probably make his day. Seems harmless to me, but what the hell do I know?
Grandma J says
December 8, 2007 at 12:53 pmI know you are going to do it. It’s not like he’s a perv, or he would have hunted you down years ago. I’m sure he would get a kick out of it…very good for the ego of a baby boomer who is facing the decline of testosterone levels, and losing his hair (probably).
An added bonus to consider is what a great bonus this will be for your mom…or her dog.
Professional Critic says
December 8, 2007 at 2:37 pmNo Bossy, no! Let the interwebs work its magic and it will get back to him eventually. I’m putting money on it.
Beth says
December 8, 2007 at 3:06 pmOh, you owe it to us to do it. Ya can’t tease us like that and then back away. You are BOSSY, hero of drudgy academics (me) and suchlike everywhere. BOSSY does not chicken out.
Meg says
December 8, 2007 at 5:15 pmYeah… what they all said!
Michael Bains says
December 8, 2007 at 6:29 pmUhh.. DUH!
Just don’t expect anything back. That way, anything he MAY reply is Gravy. Bossy likes gravy. Right?
🙂
Wayne says
December 9, 2007 at 12:15 amI think you’ve already emailed him, had a torrid affair, made a bet with him on your 3rd “date” and you lost, so YOU had to be the one with the blog entry explaining everything.
Samantha says
December 9, 2007 at 3:06 amPUH-LEEEEEEAAAAAASEE email him! (Solely for our entertainment.)
Eeek, ok, I’m selfish but come on! Do it. (If Mr. Bossy is ok with it of course.)
Laura says
December 9, 2007 at 2:13 pmYou have to do it Bossy-I agree w/your husband-I am sure any teacher would be flattered! Who cares about the wife comment-you were 15 fer chrissakes. And the car is a nonissue. Go for it!
Lisa says
December 9, 2007 at 5:31 pmI say email him. I would edit out the mousy first however. It probably doesn’t matter at this point. What are the chances that he’s still married?
Grandma J says
December 9, 2007 at 5:39 pmI see signs of life….changes in BOSSY’S header! I’m on the edge of my chair with excitment and anticipation!!
Briget says
December 9, 2007 at 7:01 pmYES! You tell me what Now-WAY-Past-Middle-Aged-Teacher wouldn’t want to know he was lusted after, and I’ll tell you not to post it.
Do I hear a Negative?
Didn’t think so.
Get-Off says
December 9, 2007 at 10:11 pmMy most disappointing cinematic turn came in Gidget when Sandra Dee feigned being into the smokin’ Cliff Robertson in order to get to the flaccid Jimmy Darren. E-mail Eljo and maybe the cosmos will come back into balance.
Plus there is an infinitely greater chance of Eljo responding than Cusack.
diesel says
December 10, 2007 at 12:23 amWell, if he ever Googles himself, he’s going to find the post anyway. And everybody Googles themselves eventually.
motherofbun says
December 10, 2007 at 1:56 amIf he saw you now I’m pretty sure he’d be all, “Hi there!” How could he not be totally flattered if he knew you were hot for him way back when. 🙂
sassy says
December 10, 2007 at 3:13 amPLEASE email him. And post his reply. PLEASE.
Oh, The Joys says
December 10, 2007 at 9:15 amStalking is the new black?
Victoria says
December 10, 2007 at 9:34 amThis is so creepy, weird and wrong. Just plain wrong.
I love it.
Do it.
Victoria says
December 10, 2007 at 9:34 amThis is so creepy, weird and wrong. Just plain wrong.
I love it.
Do it.
Heather says
December 11, 2007 at 1:49 pmI’d say yes, if for no other reason than it will give you something to write about and your readers are very curious. But, if you do email him, be sure to clarify by stating that you are no longer stalking him as you are entirely devoted to John C.
martha in mobile says
December 20, 2007 at 10:03 amI don’t mean to harsh the general buzz, but the possibility exists that he doesn’t remember you at all and that your fondest middle school crush memories will be as crumpled and soiled as a used tissue…