Really? Google is renting 600 pixels from Bossy in order to hawk $3 bumper stickers? Bossy gets a percentage of every item sold, so you can imagine her anticipation about the half penny she’ll receive in six years.
For this reason and less, way less—Bossy can no longer do this every time she needs a haircut. But lucky for Bossy there are people who can make her cry cut her hair only a few miles from her house!
The first thing Bossy did on castration day hair appointment day was decide what to wear, because your salon outfit conveys who you are to the hairstylist. For instance you can convey, “I am conservative”, or “I am arty”, or in Bossy’s case, “I am a Mortician.”
After much agonizing and changing in and out of white tank tops, Bossy chose this outfit:
And then Bossy decided to wear her funky boots:
All dressed and armed with hair photos, Bossy began her journey to the salon, which was every bit as inspiring as being in New York City:
And before she knew it she had arrived at the intersection of Madison Avenue and Hopeless:
A few minutes later Bossy was pulling into her new salon’s parking lot:
And honestly, once Bossy was situated in her parking space she didn’t know what she was so worried about:
Inside the salon, Bossy changed into a hospital gown smock and spoke with her new stylist. Bossy’s stylist looked at all of the photos Bossy brought of her various haircuts and the stylist understood immediately what Bossy had in mind:
Next the stylist applied some highlights and stuck Bossy under a dryer and set the timer:
It may interest some of you to know how Bossy thought she could get away with taking photos. Well. Bossy simply told those around her she was trying to learn how to use her camera!
After just a few minutes of baking sitting, Bossy was able to capture a portrait of her new stylist:
And then an interesting thing happened. Bossy began reading her camera manual and she learned a few amazing tricks:
Twenty minutes later it was time to wash the highlights out of her hair:
And finally Bossy’s hair was ready for the cut, which was over before Bossy could say, “My other stylist is from Rome.”
kelly LrS says
January 28, 2008 at 11:49 amyou and i have the same issue. i ALWAYS hate my hair and i usually cry. i have been putting off a hair cut forever now.
good luck.
Laura says
January 28, 2008 at 11:50 amLove the belt, your hair looks fab. I actually go to a barber shop for my cut & highligts. YES WAY! The picture does look just like you, it’s the last picture that doesn’t bear any resemblance to Bossy.
Madmad says
January 28, 2008 at 11:51 amOh, you’re funny! I don’t have the train rides, but I do spend the same hours in front of the closet, thinking the same things about what to wear… For what it’s worth, though, I think the hair looks cute. That make up job, though… are letters across the face in this year?
amy says
January 28, 2008 at 12:08 pmBossy would be hot even bald!
Raz says
January 28, 2008 at 12:14 pmMy last hair cut was so good that I actually shrieked when I looked up from the magazine I was reading and saw that my hair was a good 4 inches shorter than I had told her.
Needless to say my next hair appointment is in a different salon.
I think your hair looks good, actually.
Sister Honey Bunch says
January 28, 2008 at 12:26 pmI think I’ll buy a bumpber sticker from google to help your hair emergency fund.
I am taking a big risk and going to a new salon Thursday. It’s freakin’ scary.
Junebug says
January 28, 2008 at 12:27 pmDo you have a mask on in that last picture? Oh, a Day Three mask! Boy, hair is a complicated thing. I love my hair the day of the cut because the stylist fixes it so nicely, like I never will be able to master in a million years. If only you could take your head off and blow dry it like they do!
Whit says
January 28, 2008 at 12:28 pmI shaved my head for this very reason. I had tar in my hair.
Peggy says
January 28, 2008 at 12:32 pmI.FEEL.YOUR.PAIN.
SINCE 456 hours 33 minutes and 22 seconds ago when I received the haircut and PERM from HELL.(I asked for a little more body which in Stylist Speak must mean..PERM from HELL)
Yours looks MUCH nicer.
Audubon Ron says
January 28, 2008 at 12:38 pmYou need to see me. I can give you the same Ron-bob I give horses.
Incidentally, there is a before and after of this young woman on your site who undergoes a makeover. You wouldn’t happen to know how I can get her phone number, would you? See, I have this Uhhumm, friend.
All Adither says
January 28, 2008 at 12:40 pmWhy are you sucking a piece of waxed paper to your face in that last shot?
David says
January 28, 2008 at 12:41 pmI never thought I’d say this, but thank God I’m semi-bald. My monthly haircut involves me standing in the bathtub and running the beard trimmer over my head until it no longer cuts anything. Then a shower.
Foolery says
January 28, 2008 at 12:43 pmI prefer the salons in which the stylists call you hun and dangle cigs outta their mouths while talking to you. Invariably the ash is twice as long as the cigarette, which is not a problem because they’ll sweep it all away with the hair and the scalp and the blood anyway, see?
Make peace with your hair, Bossy — those of us with board-straight hair covet it.
HRH says
January 28, 2008 at 12:45 pmThat was really funny. Your hair salon looks like one of the out buildings of a women’s prision (not that I would know). If you could only sell enough bumper stickers…
Scottsdale Girl says
January 28, 2008 at 12:54 pmI always think I am going to go CRAZY and WILD when I finally make the appt to get my hair did. Then I sit in the chair, sigh a few times and tell her to trim and highlight/color GET RID OF GRAY. And keep it the same. thanks.
MamaMo says
January 28, 2008 at 12:55 pmHaircuts/styling is one of the areas where the old saying “You get what you pay for” is painfully obvious. At the rate of one haircut every 284 days – it seems well worth it to stash away $20/month to treat yourself to the next one.
There’s a fancy salon here in Chapel Hill where you can get your hair cut for about $75, if you want to wait that long and end up swinging by during the road trip! 😉
Sarah is Ok says
January 28, 2008 at 12:57 pmKiller boots. You’re too funny. But really, I want those boots.
Jen M says
January 28, 2008 at 1:01 pmFrom what I can tell you look great – we need a better photo!
We’re belt sisters. I decided that living in the southwest means I have to weat turquoise-studded dinner plates with crisp white shirts. Why?
Momo Fali says
January 28, 2008 at 1:02 pmThere are PLACES where you can get nervous breakdowns?! All this time I didn’t realize people would actually pay to be like me.
Robin says
January 28, 2008 at 1:02 pmBossy just HAS to try CURLS ROCK Curl Amplifier by TIGI. My hair is the same as Bossy’s and this product is amazing. Bouncy curls instead of frizz. 🙂
Noelle says
January 28, 2008 at 1:08 pmI’m waiting for Dolly Parton, Julia Roberts and Sally Field to walk out of that salon.
pogonip says
January 28, 2008 at 1:08 pmAfter all that I can only say, thank god I’m DIY.
Miss Britt says
January 28, 2008 at 1:17 pmYour husband does not know. But YOU should know better! Dude, whether it’s Manhattan or the other side of the MOON, you don’t take chances once you’ve found “the One”.
I’m just appalled you let your husband have a say in how you spend his money. Honestly Bossy. I expected more from you.
vuboq says
January 28, 2008 at 1:18 pmThis has reminded VUBOQ that he needs to make an appointment with Leah, the Colornatrix. Also, take heart! I hear “black tar” is the new “blond.”
Greta says
January 28, 2008 at 1:25 pmBossy Rocks! Seriously, the worst part for me is coming up with witty (or even half-baked interesting) repartee to exchange w/ my stylest. Me thinks taking the camera along would be a great way to get people around you to just shud urp!
The Domestic Goddess says
January 28, 2008 at 1:25 pmRutt-Ro Rorge. Guess you’re hitting the Manhattan stylist now…
dgm says
January 28, 2008 at 1:27 pmWhatchoo talkin’ about Willis? It looks good.
I just broke up with my stylist because last time I was there she gave me a Carol Brady and I had to wear it in a pony until it grew out. To add insult to injury, she charged more than usual.
But now, I’ve found someone new. Someone who understands I don’t want a mullet.
Deb on the Rocks says
January 28, 2008 at 1:35 pmTrain him like a dolphin or a kid under Super Nanny. After your next NYC appointment, come home and have recklessly wild hotel sex (only if you want to, I wouldn’t suggest complete manipulation, just an attempt to describe the pleasure of a good stylist in language he understands and as a POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.) If you do as instructed, Mr. Bossy will finally understand how it makes you feel and will beg you to go every month. It will mess up your just done do, but such is the price.
Oh, The Joys says
January 28, 2008 at 1:40 pmBossy is super gorgeous. There is no way the hair can change that.
blackbird says
January 28, 2008 at 1:42 pmI think it’s handy you don’t have short hair.
we_be_toys says
January 28, 2008 at 1:45 pmElvis doesn’t want that belt back, girl – he’s got bigger ones!
I love the whole “sneak the camera in” – very inventive! We could be very dangerous together, Bossy – two evil geniuses in a room with gin/vodka/tequila – fuhget abowt it!
Patricia says
January 28, 2008 at 1:51 pmWould pacing up and down outside the salon with a sandwich board advertising that “THEY did this!” get them to GIVE you the money to go to Manhattan and fix it?
annie says
January 28, 2008 at 1:51 pm*Hair
*nails
*Nervous Breakdowns
Ha-ha-ha!
Phoenix says
January 28, 2008 at 1:52 pmI never like mine, until three weeks later.
Nilsa S. says
January 28, 2008 at 1:57 pmBossy, you look great! Because, to be honest, you’d probably look great bald. So, the mere fact you still have hair, lots of it, on your head means your look fab!
Alice says
January 28, 2008 at 2:00 pmi guess i’m lucky because my hair just looks boring and meh no matter how i get it cut, so it’s not really capable of being too crazy in a bad way. but then again it can’t be crazy in a good way, either…
Christina says
January 28, 2008 at 2:20 pmOh, I sympathize. I can never find anyone to cut my hair right. I had a good stylist in my old town, and I’ve told my husband we may have to move back there just so I can have someone who understands how to do razor-cut layers properly.
And I’m saving all of your hair posts for when my daughter Cordy is older. She has (super) curly hair and will need to know this kind of information.
Karla ~ Looking Towards Heaven says
January 28, 2008 at 2:26 pmyou need to start hawkin’ those bumper stickers. then you can finally go to that snazzy salon.
Blessings,
Karla
lora says
January 28, 2008 at 2:51 pmI’m not sure exactly where you live, but it seems to me you live kinda sorta close to me.
A friend of mine makes the drive and goes here:
http://www.antoniosalonandspa.com/
But maybe that’s the Antonio you already went to.
I’ve also heard good things about this place:
http://www.signatureshairphiladelphia.com/home.php
and rumor has it that there is someone fantastic at Giovanni and Peliggi, also in Philadelphia. Good luck!
andrea says
January 28, 2008 at 2:52 pmUh oh. Poor Bossy’s hair. A bad haircut is the worst. I’m growing out my hair and because it’s curly and it was really short, it puffs out almost like an Iro (that’s the Irish equivalent to an Afro). When I first got it tamed, I shrieked: DON’T MAKE IT INTO A MULLET! because it kind of looked that way. The owner gave me a very snotty look. I don’t think they appreciate me very much. And by the way, I don’t have a mullet.
qt says
January 28, 2008 at 2:54 pmOk hair nails nervous breakdowns was PERFECT!
I finally found a person who gets it right 63.5 % of the time. God forbid anything happen to her….
Mr Farty says
January 28, 2008 at 2:54 pmUm….what’s “hair”?
*sob*
Manic Mommy says
January 28, 2008 at 3:10 pmJust think:
Visiting Bossy’s cute son at school = New Haircut!
Sewmouse says
January 28, 2008 at 3:14 pmI have not had a bad haircut in over 10 years.
About 11 years ago, I decided to NEVER have my hair cut again. In my “Female-Sampson” waist-length ponytail I shall be buried. Enough was enough.
davido says
January 28, 2008 at 3:16 pmYeah, solution = be a dude. Lose the hair and just don’t care. .. or something.
Mrs. G. says
January 28, 2008 at 3:20 pmBossy looks beautiful.
barbra says
January 28, 2008 at 4:00 pmI don’t know where you live, but I saw Tabatha on Shear Genius on Bravo and she was really good! She’s in Ridgewood, NJ:
http://www.industriehairgurus.com/bio.php
hee, hee, feels funny to talk about a reality show person!
MinivanBohemian says
January 28, 2008 at 4:08 pmI go to the $15/a cut Aveda Institute in my area. The students are freshly trained and under the hawk-eye of their teachers! It is hard to mess up long boring hair cuts, though. I have long boring hair. I always think I will end up doing something “different” and it ends up the same.
Chocolate will ease the pain.
Scott-O-Rama says
January 28, 2008 at 4:16 pmI have to get a haircut, but now I’m scared. Bossy scared me. Guess I’ll end up a long-haired hippy.
kitcat says
January 28, 2008 at 4:22 pmI REALLY love those brown boots and, since this proves my great taste, I will take you to my wonderful, talented and funny hair lady when you visit Portland, OR on Road Trip ’08.
I promise you’ll be soooooo happy.
Dr. Monkey says
January 28, 2008 at 4:51 pmWe all have our crosses to bear, or in your case huge ass belt buckles.
Karen in DE says
January 28, 2008 at 5:03 pmIf you really, truly are unhappy, get back on the road and head south on 95 to DE and make an appt with Paul –
http://www.pagave.com/index.html
And don’t let the “Best of DE” distinction throw you off track – Paul really IS the best – in DE, DC, MD, PA – anywhere.
Karen in DE says
January 28, 2008 at 5:06 pmWhat I meant about the “best of DE” distinction is that most of those surveys / contests / whatevers are fixed. So ignore it. In a way.
mr.lootiatto says
January 28, 2008 at 5:13 pmwait…isn’t that the MLK forehead you have on?
Grandma J says
January 28, 2008 at 5:35 pmIf Bossy showed up for her appointment wearing those snazzy finger chewed gloves…the ones that match her safety pinned slippers…she probably scared the beeegeeezuz out of her new stylist.
Your hair is gorgeous…..
Dharmamama says
January 28, 2008 at 5:35 pmBesides that panty on your head, I think the cut’s kinda cute. When you come this way, you can visit Carmen Cutrona, world-famous hair stylist –
http://www.carmencarmensalon.com/ I can’t afford Carmen himself, but his talented underlings are marvelous, as well.
You’re awesome no matter what – it’s not your hair that makes you who you are.
Chicky says
January 28, 2008 at 6:18 pmRight now I am wearing my very favorite Boston Red Sox ball cap because 1) I have team spirit and 2) because my stylist cut it too short at my last visit. So I feel your pain.
You can always wear your Elvis belt around your head like a turban.
Meg says
January 28, 2008 at 6:18 pmYeah, what Robin said. Curls Rock ROCKS for curls!
lori says
January 28, 2008 at 6:23 pmHaving bone straight hair myself, I know nothing of the frustration that is curly hair. A doctor at my work has similar hair to yours and finally found someone she loves. I guess the trick is to get the cut first, but more importantly, get it cut DRY, then color. She’s had nothing but fantastic haircuts ever since.
Steph says
January 28, 2008 at 6:43 pmI have frizzy/curly hair and I’ve been considering dreads but the hubs ain’t too crazy about the idea. I’m mostly just afraid my scalp would be itchy and I wouldn’t be able to get to it to scratch it properly. (That last sentence even made me say eewwwww.) Oh, well in another life maybe.
Dara says
January 28, 2008 at 7:24 pmOh..Bossy. I am so sorry about your hair. I once was getting my hair cut and the chick doing it was sooooo badly cutting my hair, I jumped up out of the seat, threw some 20 dollar bills at her and fled.
You are still a cutie. A tad blurry, but cute.
Peg says
January 28, 2008 at 7:25 pmGood grief!! On what day did this tragedy occur? Did you not take your own advice and consult the ALMANAC?!! Geez!!
emily says
January 28, 2008 at 7:51 pmi have to have serious contemplations on my outfit when i go to get my hair done. it’s like i told my husband, if your hairstylist thinks you don’t care about how you look, why would they? or maybe i’m paranoid.
Mama DB says
January 28, 2008 at 7:59 pmBossy should know that while one of her readers was getting her hair cut, her hair dresser collapsed to the floor. Yes, in the middle of her hair cut. You should also know that your reader performed CPR, along side a member of law enforcement, unsuccessfully on this hair dresser. And the hair dresser passed away. Worst hair cut E.V.E.R.
moosh in indy. says
January 28, 2008 at 9:21 pmBossy can borrow some of mine.
I have spares.
Avitable says
January 28, 2008 at 9:39 pmTry shaving it. I highly recommend it.
islaygirl says
January 28, 2008 at 9:52 pmYou know, i think the only thing that would make Bossy feel better is that new MacBook Air.
flutter says
January 28, 2008 at 9:55 pmyour scarf is pretty sassy.
Lulu says
January 28, 2008 at 11:09 pmIn the next to the last photo, are you sure that you weren’t in an Amish salon?
Haley says
January 28, 2008 at 11:28 pmLove the method acting thing!! LOL It’s funny to read this post b/c I just got done reading about your last hair adventure not too long ago.
Maybe you should come to Texas to get your hair done, the stylist here are pricey, but typically worth it! 🙂
Suebob says
January 28, 2008 at 11:34 pmThe salon sign made me hoot.
mj aka sugarmama says
January 29, 2008 at 12:11 amLOL…I will use that “I’m learning how to use my camera trick” next time.
From a little of what I can see…you still looked beautiful, but you made yourself look like you have an egg head.
HEHE
Mr. Fabulous says
January 29, 2008 at 6:25 amYou look like a million damn dollars no matter what!
slcmom says
January 29, 2008 at 9:56 amYou are funny…I think that if you’re only going every once or twice a year it’s worth paying for the one good cut. I know…my hair is the thick/coarse/not straight/not curly/frizzy one day/unruly every day type of hair and most people who have cut it can’t even do it straight on the bottom…for several years I did it myself since I figured if no matter what I was getting a bad cut I may as well get it free…hahha. I have since discovered a stylist who could easily end up as the TOP Hollywood stylist who can actually cut it right…she washes, dries and straightens my hair first, then cuts. Now I get by on a cut every 1 1/2 years…if you make it to salt lake on your road trip and feel like having your hair done i can point you to her, but I’d RATHER you spend the time at the coffee shop with me…hehehehe.
Helen K says
January 29, 2008 at 10:45 amHa! I feel your pain! My last cut cost £100 and when i look in the mirror i really do not know why!
peppermint T says
January 29, 2008 at 12:10 pmI don’t pay for haircuts because 1) I’m cheap 2) hairstylists always think I’m a frump instead of the hip young thing I want to be and cut my hair accordingly 3) I’m stylist’s chair phobic. Oh, and the last time I got a haircut, I went with my mom. She got a bad cut and got in a fight with the stylist. Yeah, it was traumatic.
The Mom Bomb says
January 29, 2008 at 12:39 pmI’m sure the hair looks just fine after applying your styling skills.
Don’t feel bad. I once got the same haircut as Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men. And no, I didn’t ask for it.
Kiraa says
January 29, 2008 at 2:44 pmBossy – I love it! Yay you!
Sloane says
January 29, 2008 at 2:54 pmOkay–How about convincing Mr. Bossy that your haircut and all of your Manhattan expenses on the day of said haircut are tax deductible since you do model for your site and your site does make a few pennies here and there selling bumper stickers?
Sloane says
January 29, 2008 at 2:58 pmOkay–How about convincing Mr. Bossy that your haircut and all of your Manhattan expenses on the day of said haircut are tax deductible since you do model for your site and your site does make a few pennies here and there selling bumper stickers?
OHmommy says
January 29, 2008 at 5:35 pmWho needs Manhattan? You make me laugh!
Strizz says
January 29, 2008 at 8:44 pmYou look all hawt in the before picture. your face is all blurry in the after.
joeinvegas says
January 29, 2008 at 11:36 pmGlad that you had such fun. Thanks for sharing.
SecretSister says
January 31, 2008 at 4:55 amSo sorry about your hair Bossy. I hope that you can get an emergency appointment to your favorite hairstylist to fix the hair trauma. Good hair stylists are as important as finding a good gynecologist or dentist. In fact, Bossy is not the only one who drives far, far away to her favorite hairdresser. I drive 180 miles(one-way) to get to my salon. My stylist has been doing my hair for 20 years and is one of the best.
Minnesota Matron says
February 1, 2008 at 8:44 pmOh Bossy. Hair cuts are evil tricks called One Big Money Drain. You’re forced to go back again. And again. and again. . . the matron just got a foot of her own heavenly locks chopped! Actually, they weren’t so heavenly: they were too damaged to donate for wigs for kids with cancer. Ouch.
queenoqueens says
February 2, 2008 at 3:03 pmYou could do what I do. Cut out the middle man and hack your own hair. It not only saves you money, it saves you time as well. You won’t have to travel or pick out an ensemble and most importantly, no one will want to be seen with you, so all those hours you would have wasted socializing you could spend productively at home organizing your sock drawer, etc. And you get the bonus enjoyment of the expression on your partner’s face when you first turn the corner with your new Franken-do.
Honestly, this curly hair that no one can cut, is for the birds. I’ll finally be free when I learn to be comfy with perpetual bed head.
honeywine says
February 3, 2008 at 12:13 pmI think I’m going to use that “I’m just learning to use this” technique. What this? I’m just learning to use this pocket rocket…
Ruth Dynamite says
February 5, 2008 at 9:44 amBossy is beautiful just the way she is.
Cesar says
February 7, 2008 at 7:57 amHey Miss Bossy!
You are Gorgeous, Beautiful, Stunning, Elegant, Attractive, Striking, Good-Looking, Dazzling, Lovely, Magnificent…Will You Be My Valentine?
Need a Laugh?…Read This!
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken a back because he can’t place where he knows
her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think
you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful
to his wife and says, “My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor
party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching
while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???”
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”
Jaimie says
April 30, 2008 at 7:37 pmI know this is an older post – but I am an 8 valium haircut. I don’t take the eight valium – I take 2 and give my hairdresser 6 because if I don’t like it I will cry, rant and rave!!! That was before 5 years ago when I found the most amazing hairdresser in East Hanover, NJ (I don’t know how close that is to you, but if you are going to Manhattan for a cut, it’s only 25 minutes away). I have NEVER had a bad cut from this guy, AND I have gone from short to long back to short to mid length and been able to grow out my hair without going back and without needing a trim. I have nothing bad to say about this guy and his work. And I can list about 2 dozen hairdressers from NYC to Philadelphia who have butchered my hair over the course of my lifetime.
jersey1056.blog.mercubuana.ac.id/2014/08/09/ever-say/ says
August 13, 2014 at 2:40 amEvery one will be excited about this distribute, it’s most useful.