Have you met Bossy’s Countdown? Every day she is over there in the left-hand column posting a photo and caption of what she is doing to prepare for her
schizophrenia Excellent Road Trip. Yesterday it was all about the Yoga Pants, which makes it different from every other Countdown post exactly not at all—except this time Bossy went on an actual field trip.
After a rather humiliating skirmish with florescent lighting, Bossy retreated to her comment section where she asked her
readers reader to suggest cute Yoga pants Bossy could purchase online, and that’s when she saw this:
Just you try telling Bossy that the
amputee model in this photo isn’t grabbing someone else’s foot—someone buried deep underground.
And speaking of the Yoga Pants Bossy has not yet purchased, what do you know about Underwear Technology? Is it truly possible to buy a pair of underwear with no visible panty lines because Bossy remains unconvinced. Bossy has tried those brands with a No Panty Line Promise®, and when still she sees panty lines right there on her very own ass the company is all, “Those? Those aren’t panty lines—that’s our Whisper-soft Tactel® Leg Binding.”
Bossy promised herself she wouldn’t purchase any more underwear until she collected more information—and really, who thought all those years ago when perusing musty encyclopedias and card catalogues that Someday In The Distant Future It Will Be Possible To Research Panties From Your Very Own Home.
And now for the Straw Poll:
Bossy bought these flats yesterday at Filene’s Basement, which is the really great part about shopping at Discount Department Stores: you can find all the trends! From two years ago!
They’re very comfortable. But the problem is: they weren’t exactly cheap—which is just another way of saying They Were Not Provided By General Motors. Because these days free is the only thing cheap enough for Bossy.
So now Bossy is trying to decide if she should return them, because apparently this is what Bossy does for a living: buy and return. And the other reason Bossy is trying to decide if she should return them is this: how do we feel about
Toe Cleavage? How about Chubby Toe Cleavage?