Bossy’s memory has always been a thing of questionable integrity. In her younger days, Bossy was excellent at last minute memorization she could then rip from her rolodex, leaving room for the things that truly mattered.
As an adult Bossy’s memory grows sketchier. Bossy has tried to engage in activities to exercise her brain, for instance learning Italian and Spanish and German to a conversational level. But then the languages scrambled together into one incoherent omelet.
But lately Bossy’s memory has cascaded downhill to a more troubling degree.
- Friends of Bossy’s daughter. For instance their names and who they are. Because apparently she’s not the one with the beach house, and that’s not the one who lives near the art center, and she was the roommate in camp oh mom!
- People who introduce themselves to Bossy and later ask Remember me? People Bossy spends entire evenings with laughing and carrying on. People Bossy hangs out with continually at conferences over three-day weekends. People.
- Her dreams. And Bossy loves her dreams. They’re very realistic and steeped in the kind of subconscious imagery directly related to things in Bossy’s life that need fixing.
- Anything Bossy’s Unhusband says about his schedule. Even if he didn’t really tell Bossy but said he did. Hi Bossy’s Unhusband!
- Band names. Maybe it’s because they used to be so simple, like The Police. But nowadays it’s Cake and Air and Leonard Cohen – just who can remember these nonsensical words?
- Saying goodbye. Like, ever. Often Bossy is cleaning up the kitchen after one of her get-togethers and suddenly she’ll think, Did I even say goodbye to Bobo? When did Martha leave? Who was the last one here and did they slip out without warning? It’s probably no big deal to forget goodbyes, Bossy supposes, considering they took place full minutes prior to Bossy’s memory lapse.
- The name of any book, the name of any movie, the name of any American Idol contestant, the name of any wine Bossy enjoyed, the name of any wine Bossy didn’t enjoy, names.
- The word integral to the conclusion of Bossy’s friend Doug’s documentary regarding healthy and unhealthy love and Bossy swore she’d never forget it.
- Attachment! That’s it! There’s love and then there’s attachment. Attachment is no good. Love is. Ah.
- The makeshift peanut dipping sauce Bossy made that one time that was so much better than all the other times.
And finally the coup de grâce of all memory loss stories: Last weekend Bossy and her daughter were in a theater watching Bridesmaids. Approximately thirty minutes from completion there’s a scene with the lead actress in a bed, and she has the covers drawn up to her eyes, and suddenly Bossy was all Who is this again I’ve been watching for over an hour and a half? Julia Roberts? No. That little Reese Witherspoon? No.
It was scary council, not to remember the star of a movie you’re right then in the middle of seeing.
Bossy can sum up her memory loss in this way: Forgetting more things Bossy wanted to tell you she forgets.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about something you forget that seems inconceivable?
And be sure to check back later today for the worst memories on the web.