As many of you know, Bossy embraces change. Bossy embraces change so she can plunge a Buck knife into its neck. That’s why Bossy was so thrilled to learn that the Ivory soap she’s been purchasing for years is no longer available:
Oh Ivory soap, with your perfectly rectangular body wrapped in a waxy white sheath and packaged with like Ivory soaps in a pleasing cellophane!
Because now you have become this:
As if no one in the world would notice you no longer resemble a U.S. Olympic track suit, but are now dominated by a willowy swath of Pantone 292.
And while, yes, your previous tag line, “99 44/100% Pure” may have made consumers’ heads explode, that’s no reason to shadow that claim with your sans serif simplification, “The soap that floats.”
Also, Ivory? Now you’re doing it all wrong. Don’t even try to pretend you didn’t alter the ratio of your sodium tallowate. Because Bossy would argue you’re no longer the soap that floats, you’re the soap that coats — specifically Bossy’s soap dish, and the wall of Bossy’s shower, and Bossy.
Bossy can sum up her aggravation with Ivory, a brand she has proved fiercely loyal to for decades, in this way: It’s a small possibility Bossy is confusing Ivory with Dove.
Which is what today’s return of the Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about a product or brand you love that recently made a change for the worse?
And be sure to check back later today for the brandiest comments on the web!
Or you could click the following link if you ever wondered how Ten-Word Tuesday got its start — a post that garnered 314 comments!