July 23, 2012

How Lost Ruined Bossy’s Life, The End


Once upon a time there was a television series called Lost. The producers named it Lost because you will forfeit years of your life watching this show on Netflix.

Bossy planned to watch Lost with her friend Martha when it first aired on ABC back in 2004. But then Bossy’s friend Martha’s son had a cold on the night it premiered and the next thing Bossy knew six seasons and 121 viewing hours were gone forever.


Up until a few weeks ago, here is everything Bossy knew about Lost.

  1. It was weird
  2. It got weirder
  3. Then it got really weird

Other things Bossy knew about Lost before watching the show: every actor in the world appeared in at least one episode.

Or at least that’s how it feels every time Bossy is watching random stuff on TV and someone in Bossy’s life shouts, “She was on Lost!


Other variations on this theme include, but are not limited to, “He was on Lost!


The premise of Lost is as follows: an airplane crashes into a desert island and the survivors have to figure out who is cuter, Jack or Sawyer:


Before Bossy discovered this time suck wrapped in a black hole, Bossy had many interests. And sometimes when Bossy is watching back to back episodes of Lost on her overheating laptop Bossy thinks about how she should be learning Latin, or reading McCullough’s 1776, or applying highlights to her nose hair.

But instead, Bossy stays Lost.

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