Remember when Playing Doctor meant harmless experimentation away from the burden of consequence — and now it means researching fatal medical conditions on the internet?
Recently Bossy had shingles — and not that recently so Bossy’s friends can stop calculating the last time they saw Bossy and if it was contagious. And lucky thing Bossy got shingles, because shingles are for grandmothers.
The first thing Bossy did was turn to WebMD in order to complete a three-year residency in dermatology. Bossy learned that when you have several clusters of painful blisters on the same side of your body, you may want to make an appointment, instead of thinking it’s because you were caught in a downpour wearing your slimming high-waist polyester trousers. Bossy wrote a shingles poem for her shingles entitled Shingles:
Chicken pox, it never quits
Like the asylum, it commits
It hides in you until it’s time
Divorced and lonely, past your prime
Itchy bumps you can observe
Along one side — oh the nerve!
Appearing in a burning flash
Oh shingles, why are you so rash?
Bossy was nearly finished researching her shingles on WebMD when she noticed a section at the bottom of the post entitled, You Might Like. In Bossy’s case, WebMD suggested she would enjoy Fix Dry Mouth and Symptoms of Foot Drop. Other things recommended by WebMD: Inflammation of the White Part of your Eye and Eating Well with Depression.
Don’t get Bossy wrong — she loves playing a doctor on the internet. But she remembers a time when it was more healing.