It seems everyone wants to know what to do when a party guest spills an entire glass of red wine on the oriental carpet. Especially when that red wine is actually a brimming cosmopolitan made with lethal pomegranate juice. What is it with all of these pomegranate drinks these days? What were we all drinking before pomegranate-infused everything? Even the pomegranates are confused. They used to lie around waiting to be made into chutney or a reduction and suddenly they’re flying off the shelves! Anyway. Maybe it’s not that everyone wants to know what to do following a spill, maybe it’s just my friend and favorite party guest Martha, who thought i was a Rude-Ass last night for pushing aside chairs and knocking guests over in order to empty the entire contents of a Morton’s salt box directly on her spill. “You’re making me feel realllllly bad,” Martha slurred. But here’s the thing – it works. Following the disturbed sleep of the very intoxicated, I awoke to vacuum the spill right out of my rug. Done. Definitely try this trick, with or without the knocking-the-guests-over part. By the way, Morton’s? I’m available for sponsorship.