In January I got a speeding ticket (65 mph in a 45 mph zone) while driving to an appointment. Next week my case comes before a small town judge. Should I plead guilty or attempt an alibi? If the latter, what?
Wait- that was you? Bossy was the lady in the plaid bathrobe screaming at you from her front porch to slow the hell down. Your dilemma is one Bossy feels. Literally feels, right down to the palpitations she gets in her chest thinking about you driving too fast through neighborhoods.
Bossy’s not trying to be a tight-ass, she knows where you’re coming from – you’re coming from the interstate and you forgot you’re on a side street! Really Bossy catches your drift, it’s blowing past her at ninety miles an hour!
Stop the presses in Ouachita: there’s been a sighting of lead-foot! This drives Bossy crazy. So Bossy consulted with Chris Rock, Gracie Allen, Mike Myers, Lenny Bruce, Christopher Guest, Jack Benny, Molly Shannon, Bill Cosby, Ben Stiller, Richard Pryer, Carl Reiner, Imogene Coca, Bernie Mac, Catherine O’Hara, W.C.Fields, Damon Wayans, David Letterman, George Carlin, Jimmy Walker, Jon Stewart, Sid Caesar, Lily Tomlin, Martin Short, Sandra Bernhard, Will Farrell, and Shecky Green. And they decided there’s nothing funny about speeding. However if you should plead not guilty, Bossy is fond of that classic excuse, The dog ate my brake pedal.
goo saysApril 11, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I’d listen, but I’m going too fast to hear you.