People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelors hits the newsstands later today, but Bossy is here with the scoop: the 2007 Bachelor of the Year award goes to:
That’s right, it’s Jesus!
“I love warm weather and summertime,” says 37-year-old Jesus in People’s latest issue. When asked about the world’s famine, wars, and natural disasters, the Bachelor of the Year replied, “My goal is to break a sweat each day.”
Jesus enjoys going shirtless and admits he has high standards when it comes to love. “What I look for in a woman is what I love to call the ‘two Hs’ — hotness and a good sense of humor.” And boy will she need one.
People Magazine’s list of Hot Bachelors also includes (from left to right) Justin Timberlake, David Spade, Zach Braff, Ludacris, Ryan Reynolds, and Apolo Ohno.
Check Out More Sneak Peak Photos Here.
Nancy saysJune 15, 2007 at 8:05 am
Too funny ..
“Bless You Bossy”
Very well done!
Oh, The Joys saysJune 15, 2007 at 8:18 am
BOSSY and OTJ – Roommates in HELL! Ha ha ha!
Mrs. Chicky saysJune 15, 2007 at 8:59 am
And on the sixth day God created pectoral muscles, and it was good.
stella saysJune 15, 2007 at 9:05 am
im just not feelin david spade.
Noelle saysJune 15, 2007 at 9:57 am
If he can turn water into wine, then he’s the man for me. However, I don’t put too much credence into a list of hotness that includes Zach Braff. Belch.
Kristi saysJune 15, 2007 at 10:01 am
He IS divine, no doubt. I’d break a sweat with him, even if it sent me to hell!
petite mommy saysJune 15, 2007 at 10:07 am
He is quite the hottie! But the others not so much!
dexter saysJune 15, 2007 at 10:10 am
what about Gary Coleman?
Dawn saysJune 15, 2007 at 10:14 am
Ew – seriously, David Spade?
Matthew, though – MMMmmm McYummy to the MMMMmmmMcMax.
Damn, I should have put him down on my meme of who to spend the day with. Yummmmm McMatthew .
I’d make him sweat, for sure 😉
moi saysJune 15, 2007 at 10:31 am
You just confirmed what I have long suspected: that Matthew Mc. is every gal’s Own Personal Jesus.
Domestic Goddess saysJune 15, 2007 at 10:34 am
Brad Pitt isn’t technically married…he’s still single. I want him.
soNOTcool saysJune 15, 2007 at 10:36 am
The other day, I was eating my breakfast when I heard the news that sweaty, no-shirt man was named People’s Sweatiest Hippie of the year. I just about tossed my coffee. He grosses me out more than Brandon Davis’s fat-Elvis brother.
Why isn’t Mo Rocca on the top ten, huh, People?!
maggie saysJune 15, 2007 at 11:00 am
I’m getting a little tired of Jesus’s sweaty ringlets too, but, then, I guess I’m choosing to read People magazine 8 times a day, so I suppose it’s my own fault. But, seriously, do we really need to see him on a treadmill, running on the beach, AND barefoot in the airport? I really think barefoot in the airport’s pushing the limits … even for Jesus.
Lori saysJune 15, 2007 at 12:02 pm
David Spade, ewww!
Matthew is ok, but I can’t get over the fact that I heard he’s stinky!
Phoenix saysJune 15, 2007 at 1:40 pm
The only problem with Jesus is he doesn’t use deoderant. Doesn’t see why anyone should. That is just a little gross to me. The day I read that, he was demoted on my list.
Flutter saysJune 15, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Odd, that’s kind of how I’d always pictured Jesus!
Candid Yammering saysJune 15, 2007 at 3:18 pm
You just go on about your day…while I clean my screen AGAIN. I have GOT to stop drinking and reading here at the same time!
Surcie saysJune 15, 2007 at 3:35 pm
That Zach Braff, he’s freakin’ everywhere!
One of these guys is not like the others, one of these guys doesn’t belong. If you guessed Dave Spade is not like the others. . .then. . .you’re absolutely right! (He has a teeny head. I like that.)
I see the words Apolo Ohno and read Apollonia. Must be evidence of too much Prince during my formative years.
Brando saysJune 15, 2007 at 4:00 pm
The only thing hot about David Spade’s bachelorhood is that it burns when he pees.
metalmom saysJune 15, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Not thrilled by David Spade but KATE Spade love!! (the handbags, not the girl!)
Cece saysJune 15, 2007 at 5:47 pm
Jesus looks hot up on that surf board, yo!
Meghan saysJune 15, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I’m on the floor right now.
The trio of Ludacris, Ryan Reynolds, and Apolo Ohno is pure genius.
orangeblossoms saysJune 15, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Mhis is very Wax Museum Nativity…. who does that? I can’t remember but every year it gets better and better. I think that Paris Hilton was Mary one year.
orangeblossoms saysJune 15, 2007 at 7:43 pm
oops I meant: THIS not Mhis…. sorry.
Adorable Girlfriend saysJune 15, 2007 at 8:10 pm
Zach B. is A-OK. The rest of ’em can be fought over by others.
Stephanie saysJune 16, 2007 at 12:33 am
Matt doesn’t wear deodorant because his momma told him he has good smelling BO. He said that during a television interview. I wonder in which crevasse his mother took a whiff.
nutmeg saysJune 16, 2007 at 8:48 am
David Spade? Please.
Brandy saysJune 16, 2007 at 9:11 pm
is it bad that I want to make babies with Jesus??
Bon saysJune 16, 2007 at 11:22 pm
yes, Mrs. Jesus will definitely want a sense of humour…though apparently not a sense of smell.
Bossy, you funny.
girlplease saysJune 17, 2007 at 9:55 am
zack braff can eat the corn out of my ass. i hate him.
sorry but it’s a new phrase i learned. usually it’s followed up by “if it’s white corn. yellow is so low rent.”
The Queen saysJune 17, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Jesus H. McConaughey! That is hilarious!
Main Editor saysJune 17, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Just one mayor religious figure look-alike, and he just happened to be number 1. I bet you couldn’t find many Buddha figurines or Quran copies in People Magazine offices. Although, to be fair; David Spade could pass for a blond Joseph Smith Jr.
bobbarama saysJune 18, 2007 at 12:18 am
If I’m going to be spraying my drink all over the place when I read your posts I’m going to have to switch away from hot, scalding coffee to water or coke or something cooler (read ‘safe’).
You crack me up.
Jen saysJune 18, 2007 at 12:56 pm
So, wait. If you look closely at the picture of Jesus and the disciples breaking bread, you will see clear evidence that Jesus was married to the dude from Scrubs. The V. V for Very Hot Dudes or Very Good Workout. The chalice thing? Only meant to hold the sweat from an awesome session on the beach. Bossy, you need to write the book NOW.
tica saysJune 19, 2007 at 6:39 am
Very clever lay out of the last supper…but if they are the main course I think i’ll skip and go have Thai food are something.