JOIN BOSSY'S OLD SCHOOL BLOG ROLL!

i am bossy

Bachelor Of The Year.

People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelors hits the newsstands later today, but Bossy is here with the scoop: the 2007 Bachelor of the Year award goes to:

Mattm_3

That’s right, it’s Jesus!

“I love warm weather and summertime,” says 37-year-old Jesus in People’s latest issue. When asked about the world’s famine, wars, and natural disasters, the Bachelor of the Year replied, “My goal is to break a sweat each day.”

Jesus enjoys going shirtless and admits he has high standards when it comes to love. “What I look for in a woman is what I love to call the ‘two Hs’ — hotness and a good sense of humor.” And boy will she need one.

Jesus1_9

People Magazine’s list of Hot Bachelors also includes (from left to right) Justin Timberlake, David Spade, Zach Braff, Ludacris, Ryan Reynolds, and Apolo Ohno.

Last_supper_5

Check Out More Sneak Peak Photos Here.

Cover_3

Reader Interactions

Comments

  5. If he can turn water into wine, then he’s the man for me. However, I don’t put too much credence into a list of hotness that includes Zach Braff. Belch.

  9. Ew – seriously, David Spade?

    GROSS.

    Matthew, though – MMMmmm McYummy to the MMMMmmmMcMax.

    Damn, I should have put him down on my meme of who to spend the day with. Yummmmm McMatthew .

    I’d make him sweat, for sure 😉

  12. The other day, I was eating my breakfast when I heard the news that sweaty, no-shirt man was named People’s Sweatiest Hippie of the year. I just about tossed my coffee. He grosses me out more than Brandon Davis’s fat-Elvis brother.

    Why isn’t Mo Rocca on the top ten, huh, People?!

  13. I’m getting a little tired of Jesus’s sweaty ringlets too, but, then, I guess I’m choosing to read People magazine 8 times a day, so I suppose it’s my own fault. But, seriously, do we really need to see him on a treadmill, running on the beach, AND barefoot in the airport? I really think barefoot in the airport’s pushing the limits … even for Jesus.

  15. The only problem with Jesus is he doesn’t use deoderant. Doesn’t see why anyone should. That is just a little gross to me. The day I read that, he was demoted on my list.

  18. That Zach Braff, he’s freakin’ everywhere!

    One of these guys is not like the others, one of these guys doesn’t belong. If you guessed Dave Spade is not like the others. . .then. . .you’re absolutely right! (He has a teeny head. I like that.)

    I see the words Apolo Ohno and read Apollonia. Must be evidence of too much Prince during my formative years.

  23. Mhis is very Wax Museum Nativity…. who does that? I can’t remember but every year it gets better and better. I think that Paris Hilton was Mary one year.

  26. Matt doesn’t wear deodorant because his momma told him he has good smelling BO. He said that during a television interview. I wonder in which crevasse his mother took a whiff.

  29. yes, Mrs. Jesus will definitely want a sense of humour…though apparently not a sense of smell.

    Bossy, you funny.

  30. zack braff can eat the corn out of my ass. i hate him.

    sorry but it’s a new phrase i learned. usually it’s followed up by “if it’s white corn. yellow is so low rent.”

    classic

  32. Hmmm….
    Just one mayor religious figure look-alike, and he just happened to be number 1. I bet you couldn’t find many Buddha figurines or Quran copies in People Magazine offices. Although, to be fair; David Spade could pass for a blond Joseph Smith Jr.

  33. If I’m going to be spraying my drink all over the place when I read your posts I’m going to have to switch away from hot, scalding coffee to water or coke or something cooler (read ‘safe’).

    You crack me up.

  34. So, wait. If you look closely at the picture of Jesus and the disciples breaking bread, you will see clear evidence that Jesus was married to the dude from Scrubs. The V. V for Very Hot Dudes or Very Good Workout. The chalice thing? Only meant to hold the sweat from an awesome session on the beach. Bossy, you need to write the book NOW.

  35. Very clever lay out of the last supper…but if they are the main course I think i’ll skip and go have Thai food are something.