Not only is today the Potamac Primary, but it’s time for this again. Yes, the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue hits the newsstands today, and here is your behind-the-scenes preview:
This Is Everything You Want To Know About The Latest Photo Shoot But Were Too Smart To Ask.
mp says
February 12, 2008 at 10:50 amThanks Bossy! I am now ready to go out and buy my issue!
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
February 12, 2008 at 10:59 amJust for shucks, can you superimpose that baby’s pacifier from the Huckabee post the other day on top of ALL these skeletons?
My hormonally challenged, Michelin Tire physique thanks you in advance.
Undomestic Diva says
February 12, 2008 at 10:59 amI don’t know about you guys, but I look like these women EVERY DAY.
I like to drop my son off at his holy-rollin’ christian preschool in my itty-bitty yellow polka dot bikini AND Captain’s hat. The 4″ high heels can be a real bitch though, but hey, I’m a slave to fashion, what can I say?
Laura says
February 12, 2008 at 11:00 amOMG-I am dying……….Tennille! I just saw the cover photo-the model is wearing turquoise beads as a top. Me thinks I need some new boobs after seeing that, sheesh.
MamaMo says
February 12, 2008 at 11:05 amI like Bossy’s shot the best – at least your model has no pretenses of looking like a real woman. Aren’t these the same models from last year’s fashion week – https://iambossy.com/i_am_bossy/2007/09/bossys-homage-t.html?
Tanya says
February 12, 2008 at 11:06 amYou are too much!!! Tenielle,lol!
The Mom Bomb says
February 12, 2008 at 11:12 amThe thought of you sticking those little black pasties onto Barbie’s boobs makes me laugh. You should try to sell that pic to a gallery as “ironic post-feminist commentary” or something like that.
I think the horse is wondering “what the fook”?
Melanie at BeanPaste says
February 12, 2008 at 11:15 amI want to know what the fook you used to craft Barbie pasties? Duct tape? Electrical tape?
And, follow-up question: is one really required to wear pasties if one, in fact, has no nipples?
super des says
February 12, 2008 at 11:20 amha ha ha.
I love the bossy “inside editions”.
joeinvegas says
February 12, 2008 at 11:22 amJoe has an itty bitty paint brush and would like to know where he can get a job as the body painter. Or at least Bossy’s Corona bottle holder.
Hol says
February 12, 2008 at 11:24 amThanks for the laugh. Really love the black tape on your first photo. I think the models should do that too.
meleah rebeccah says
February 12, 2008 at 11:29 amIm dying over these…classic commentary. Thanks for the laughs!! 🙂
-jeff says
February 12, 2008 at 11:37 amYou realize you drew balls on the woman/horse picture and created a giant penis, right?
At least, that’s what I thought you did.
-jeff
jody says
February 12, 2008 at 11:38 amHilarious. The horse does look confused…or drugged. The girl? Don’t you squeeze your arms in like that when you go riding horses in your flesh colored bikini? She looks like she is trying to reduce the bounce AND keep her hooter from getting banged by the saddle…right?
Ree says
February 12, 2008 at 11:39 amAnd, what about the Russian Fur hat? Does that go with a Russian Fur bikini? While swimming in the Arctic Ocean?
FENICLE says
February 12, 2008 at 11:54 amThey asked me to join them, but I just couldn’t fit it in my schedule!!! 🙂
The Domestic Goddess says
February 12, 2008 at 11:54 amGood! Now I don’t have to buy it. Excellent Recap.
Hotdog says
February 12, 2008 at 12:06 pmOH LORDY!! you are too funny bossy! lmao
Momo Fali says
February 12, 2008 at 12:12 pmIt’s okay that she’s wearing that hat, because the Captain is her great-great Grandpa.
Grandma J says
February 12, 2008 at 12:12 pmWhile Bossy was busy applying pasties, Barbie was sinking fast in quick sand..
Jeff’s extreme imagination should bar him forever from commenting on Bossy’s blog…or not.
A Whole Lot of Nothing says
February 12, 2008 at 12:13 pmI’d require about 20 of “hims” to get me looking right.
VDog says
February 12, 2008 at 12:19 pmTeeheehee…I love the last one the best. Good one, crackah!
Peg says
February 12, 2008 at 12:20 pmUnfortunately, I have “griddle girls” like Bossy and none of this works for me. What’s a flapjack queen to do? I’ve tried the dainty beach necklaces and no one was fooled.
PunditMom says
February 12, 2008 at 12:22 pmMaybe if those girls would actually eat a few crab cakes. Send them on over — we’ll cook some up!
Howard says
February 12, 2008 at 12:26 pmI love you for the Captain & Tennille reference. 🙂
Alice says
February 12, 2008 at 12:30 pmi’m pretty sure i’d look EXACTLY like those women if i got rid of the protective layer of pudge i currently keep around. to.. protect me. yeah.
Sister Honey Bunch says
February 12, 2008 at 12:36 pmI love it you for the Capt and Tenille reference too.
blackbird says
February 12, 2008 at 12:42 pmMy brother (who is ALL KINDS OF COOL) has worked on one of those shoots – he was probably the guy who held the reflector board thing.
Anyway, apparently, it IS ALL it’s cracked up to be.
andrea says
February 12, 2008 at 12:52 pmThat horse is definitely confused as am I. Is that seaweed hanging off from the horse? And I totally do that with my boobs whenever I ride a horse. It’s hawt.
All Adither says
February 12, 2008 at 12:54 pmAre those electrical tape pasties?
David says
February 12, 2008 at 12:58 pmFeh, too many breasts. My brain switched into “idle” mode.
Junebug says
February 12, 2008 at 1:05 pmAre you sure that Official Hat holding guy was not Bossy’s husband?
Not the Queen says
February 12, 2008 at 1:18 pmI’m so glad I now know what to do with a chair in the middle of the rain forest. That question has been plaguing me for years!
It’s also good to see that I’m not the only woman who presses her breasts together with her arms while riding a horse…
Oh, The Joys says
February 12, 2008 at 1:38 pmI snorted and snorted the whole way through this post!
Sassy says
February 12, 2008 at 1:39 pmThat Barbie kills me…hahahhahaa
Madame Jozet at Halushki says
February 12, 2008 at 1:51 pmWow.
I had that many people on my recently posted video shoot, and all they could manage was a fleece sweatshirt and a hair clip. Not even any concealer. And what with the breastfeeding, my boobs actually are bigger than an A cup for once in my life. Curses!
And bikinis so need pockets. Where am I supposed to keep my Little Debbie cakes? Hmmmph!
My Minivan Is Faster Than Yours says
February 12, 2008 at 1:59 pmThis is totally how I remember Gilligan’s Island!
heart shaped hedges says
February 12, 2008 at 2:18 pm10 Reasons why Im not in that magazine:
1. If I wear make up at the beach, it melts off and I get racoon eyes from the mascara.
2. granny bottoms and plus size suits are not “in” THIS YEAR.
3. The sea air makes my hair flat
4. When I roll around in the water, I get sand in the crotch of my suit.
5. the dimples of my cellulite cause the light to reflect in such a way that is not condusive to photography.
6. My boobs are too saggy to hold up those skimpy tops.
7. I am afraid of horses.
8. c-section scars arent sexy.
9. they are trying to sell magazines
10. 1-9 would be moot if I was willing to do the heroin and cocain necessary to be skinny enough for the magazine.
Foolery says
February 12, 2008 at 3:02 pmOh, I’m so relieved — that’s a PERSON in that chair in the rain forest! I thought someone had thrown out a bag of old chicken bones, and that one of the forest creatures might get them stuck in its craw.
I’m nothing if not an animal lover.
Nice electri-pasties. ‘s what I use, too.
dlyn says
February 12, 2008 at 3:17 pmAlways nice to be able to get the behind the scenes truth here!
K says
February 12, 2008 at 3:29 pmOooooh, Captain and Tenille – how cool was that (when I was still wearing braces and a training bra)… I don’t have the braces anymore.
Tootsie Farklepants says
February 12, 2008 at 3:30 pmThe tassels for Barbie’s pasties are suspiciously absent.
Mary Jane says
February 12, 2008 at 3:32 pmyou should definately quit your day job if you have one and enlighten someone to put you on the payroll just for being bossy!!!
sparx says
February 12, 2008 at 3:35 pmGreat! This post has made me feel like a million pounds…. of low-hanging flab… pass me the biscuits…
Surcie says
February 12, 2008 at 3:59 pmThe feminist in me cannot stop rolling her eyes.
Sarcasta-Mom says
February 12, 2008 at 4:34 pmYour blog never ceases to make me laugh. Thanks for the fabulous swimsuit coverage!
Brando says
February 12, 2008 at 4:40 pmTenille was the A-Bomb of comedy.
Mr Farty says
February 12, 2008 at 4:44 pmSo that’s where my old armchair went!
Leaf, probably... says
February 12, 2008 at 5:05 pmYou know I have been meaning to get myself a see-through top for the beach, clearly they are SO in right now.
Britt says
February 12, 2008 at 5:26 pmI wonder if they would enjoy this cookie I am eating as much as i do?
This made me laugh really hard. Thanks.
Lindsay says
February 12, 2008 at 5:59 pmBarbie’s gonna get one heck of a waxing when those pasties come off…
Peggy says
February 12, 2008 at 6:20 pmWhat the fook? Jeff is right! It IS a giant penis..My eyes my eyes..I can’t stop looking at it with…My Eyes!
moosh in indy. says
February 12, 2008 at 6:27 pmJust added to people to hire list:
Reflector holder man.
Cece says
February 12, 2008 at 6:40 pmSeriously, what WERE those things tangled on her feet??
Heather B. says
February 12, 2008 at 7:50 pmQuestion: Why do half of those girls look naked? I’m assuming because they are wearing flesh colored, semi-transparent bathing suits? Or maybe that’s just the style…
BOSSY says
February 12, 2008 at 8:22 pmThat Barbie photo was taken by a Sports Illustrated photographer. Bossy is only too happy to report at least one person on that crew maintains a bitchin’ sense of humor.
Mrs. G. says
February 12, 2008 at 8:52 pmI always wash ashore in a see-through shirt. But that’s just me.
Tracey says
February 12, 2008 at 8:52 pmOMG- I hate to admit this, but I watch America’s Next Top Model. And I realized that it takes a village to make a woman look like that. I want a village too.
Marissa says
February 12, 2008 at 9:21 pmBossy…you rock.
Thanks for a much needed laugh.
Jenni says
February 12, 2008 at 9:36 pmI’ve got to stop reading these right after the kids go to sleep. I just woke up the baby from laughing so loudly at the the last caption.
kate says
February 12, 2008 at 10:56 pmthat reflector board?
soooo perfect with your new highlights.
MarathonMom says
February 12, 2008 at 11:06 pmPockets…is that what I need in my swimsuit to contain my saddle bag thighs? Brilliant!
soNOTcool says
February 12, 2008 at 11:32 pmHave you seen the photo shoot with Will Ferrell and Heidi Klum?! HILARIOUS. I think it might be in the same issue. I read it on a rag site.
I fucking love Will Ferrell and I fucking love Heidi Klum.
Queeny says
February 13, 2008 at 12:07 amI’d say the Captain wants his hat back if the girl can come along. Tenille, not so much.
Bossy, once again, you slay me.
Raz says
February 13, 2008 at 9:42 amI think I’m more likely to end up the older man holding the board than one of those girls.
Janet says
February 13, 2008 at 9:50 amIf my suit has no pockets I just hook my thumbs under my armpits. Funny that no one on the beach ever wants to share my picnic….
supertiff says
February 13, 2008 at 10:05 ami love bossy.
debbie says
February 13, 2008 at 11:07 amMan, Bossy…you were on a roll here!! Love it when you do that!! and I just love the “behind the scenes” comments…you rock!
Now I’m going to go and eat a bag of Oreos…for those poor models, you know.
chanda says
February 13, 2008 at 11:08 amBossy’s post made me spit coffee out of my nose! You crack me up on a regular basis. Thanks for the chuckle.
Amy says
February 13, 2008 at 11:29 amBossy you kill me!
The other girls used to want to push my skinny ass overboard. Ahh, those were the days.
Two husbands, three kids, and 20 years somehow changes EVERYdamnTHING.
Miss Wisabus says
February 13, 2008 at 12:33 pmThat hat holder looks a whole lot like Bono.
Annie says
February 14, 2008 at 11:18 amWhat a shock to wake up during my sun-filled vacation in the Bahamas while on a shoot to find pictures of me posted on the internet!
You know, that girl with the thing, wearing the thing, on the thing? Yeah, that one is me.
Or maybe, I just dreamed it during a Sara Lee over-indulged fantasy. I swear, when I woke up this morning, I felt thin!
Then I rolled over, slumped out of bed, and everything FELL into place. I’m no longer thin.
I think I’m going to join the bag of Oreo cookie eaters in our quest to fatten those skeletons up.
What’s a girl to do?
Francie says
February 17, 2008 at 9:56 pmWhere have you been, o sweet one who makes me spit milk out of my nose? I will subscribe to your bossiness from now on!
Francie
FranticHomeCook.com