Tonight Bossy is in Eugene Oregon and there are absolutely no cute Eugene stories to be told—because as it turns out Bossy is actually staying in Approximately Eugene, which means a Holiday Inn Express built directly on the highway off-ramp.
Also as it turns out: Bossy is too goofy to drive a few hundred yards into Eugene proper and check out the many sweet ethnic restaurants because as it turns out she is practically too tired to walk across the asphalt parking lot to the family restaurant where Bossy is currently sitting in a paisley booth eating her millionth Caesar salad, and about that? Who is this Caesar and why are his croutons made of pumpernickel?
Anyway. Back to the Holiday Inn Select hotel room, of which there is no cute story to be told. Bossy would normally be telling a very cute story about how Holiday Inn Express sponsored Bossy with hotel room vouchers and how nifty those rooms are, but Holiday Inn Express didn’t sponsor Bossy. So she won’t tell you all about how each and every one of their reasonably priced rooms across the fifty states could easily be featured in Metropolitan Home:
See how Bossy did that? See how she promoted Metropolitan Home who didn’t sponsor her, while not promoting Holiday Inn Express who didn’t sponsor her either?
But this post isn’t about Eugene Oregon—this post is regarding San Francisco California. Bossy was there yesterday, and about San Francisco, Bossy has this little known fact to report: it’s very hilly.
In fact, Bossy doesn’t know much about gravity and that business about what goes up must come down—because in San Francisco the theory concerns itself over this: What Goes Down Must Again Go Up.
In fact, throughout the day Bossy kept spying crazy drunk people walking uphill in her direction, until she remembered they weren’t drunk or crazy, they were simply walking uphill. At a 75º angle.
Bossy did plenty of walking while in San Francisco. She situated her car in a parking lot in Chinatown and then she walked uphill to Chinatown.
And then she walked downhill to Chinatown:
And she walked to the right to Chinatown and she waked to the left to Chinatown and exactly how big is fecking Chinatown?
All this walking within Chinatown was very consistent with what Bossy’s host told Bossy the previous night: San Francisco covers an area 7 x 7. Bossy thought her host meant blocks. But she apparently meant hectares. Wrapped inside miles.
And speaking of hills and driving Saturns on hills because you suddenly realize you’ll never make it out of Chinatown on foot: Bossy doesn’t know much about automatic transmissions, but if your car is in the drive position while stopped on an upward hill, aren’t those Saturns supposed to stay put?
After pausing in a Starbucks to check her email and hang her head in shame, Bossy went to her house because she was the world’s cutest host hosting the San Francisco blog event in the world’s cutest apartment:
And she was there and a couple of women from this were there. And she was there and thank gah she was there. And she was there and she was there and she was there, and even Bossy’s second San Francisco area host was there.
And for those keeping score at home, there was even a real live man there:
Bossy had such a good time in San Francisco, she fell asleep wondering how long it would take her to pack up the contents of her basement, and exactly how much money Bossy would have to spend in order to purchase this little fixer-upper so she too could live in the City of the Four-Way Stop Sign:
Jenn @ Juggling Life saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:21 am
Can it be that I am first?! And me without a clever comment. I don’t know how the weather was for you, but the coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
Have fun in the Pacific Northwest.
Cheri saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:22 am
Bossy is in SF and katydidnot is in SF. I smell more girl crush.
heart shaped hedges saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:23 am
The girls (and boy) by the Bay look very nice, and brunette.
Evi saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:30 am
Eugene is good (and miraculously you are in Oregon on the first beautiful day of the year!) but Portland is better! If you drive through, wave at me!
Foolery saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:39 am
My holy heck, you had a long drive today. It must have been ridiculously beautiful through Oregon, though. REST BONES. SLEEP DEEPLY.
Sheila saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:43 am
Hey! That real live man is my brother-in-law and lo and behold the gal snuggled up to Bossy is my sister. Big sister is super jealous!
Sounds like you guys had a barrel of emus worth of fun. Sorry I missed you, Bossy….
Just Jamie saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:46 am
Is there a head-count being recorded for all the lovers at Bossy events in all the cities?
I’s wager a ba-zillion.
Glad to have been a ba-fraction of it.
Nicole saysApril 13, 2008 at 1:03 am
Welcome to Oregon! This weekend is the prettiest we’ve had in a while. Enjoy it!
Rimshot saysApril 13, 2008 at 1:27 am
So you’re the only blonde in S.F.?
MamaMo saysApril 13, 2008 at 1:37 am
You are such an amazing woman!! (and funny to boot) Glad you’re having a great time – what a wonderful opportunity you’ve created for yourself.
ritabby saysApril 13, 2008 at 1:42 am
You all are the cutest ladies in California! I know you must have had the greatest time. Sooooo jealous!
MommyTime saysApril 13, 2008 at 1:42 am
Bossy would have to stop giving away all the stuff in her basement as contest prizes and sell it on eBay or something for eleventy-zillion dollars in order to afford a house in San Francisco. At least that’s my understanding of why I don’t live on either coast…
cyn2much saysApril 13, 2008 at 2:09 am
Welcome to Oregon! Thank you for bringing the sunshine with you. I wish you were heading out to the coast. We are over in Astoria and would love to offer you an entire floor of our house all to yourself. We have a view and a barbeque. What else could you need? (Oh, you would also have your own potty.)
Continue with your safe trip!! And have a ton of fun.
Isle Dance saysApril 13, 2008 at 2:11 am
VDog saysApril 13, 2008 at 2:52 am
There *was* another blonde at the party, but she had to leave before we took the pic. And up until about three weeks ago I *was* blonde, but you know, the busy mom schedule doesn’t allow for salon frequenting often enough to keep that up.
Besides, how can we compete with Bossy’s gorgeous locks? Impossible.
What a great time — thanks for coming out to see us all!
zenmomma saysApril 13, 2008 at 3:05 am
Bossy is in Eugene!
Zenmomma is in Corvallis, just north of Eugene!
I know I’m not on your road trip officially, but if you’d like the best breakfast in town (hell in the state!) come on over to my place tomorrow morning. Sunnyside Up Cafe. My treat. Ask for Mary.
Mary Alice saysApril 13, 2008 at 7:30 am
Doncha just luurrve San Fran? Bossy would have to sell her body to the night in order to live there, but it would be oh so worth it!
Avitable saysApril 13, 2008 at 7:57 am
So are you saying that you let your Saturn roll down a hill?
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysApril 13, 2008 at 7:57 am
For the record, I will not add token Real-Life Man to the Missing Man Count…yet. Only because there were no clues in Bossy’s narrative such as “honeymooning” or “next husband” (which loosely translates to “next victim”).
Sheila, if your brother-in-law mysteriously disappears, let us know and I’ll add him to the tally.
Meg saysApril 13, 2008 at 8:18 am
Did you drive the Saturn on Lombard Street? Hubby and I spent three getaway days there a bunch of years ago and Bossy? It was awesome. Glad you added that fine city to your itinerary.
Did you pursue Holiday Inn’s sponsorship and you are bitter because they declined??
Dharmamama saysApril 13, 2008 at 8:49 am
Bossy, you look tired in that last photo – but somehow still gorgeously glowing. You were in San Francisco? Where were all your gays? 🙂
Dorothy Stahlnecker saysApril 13, 2008 at 9:06 am
I’m so jealous as my body betrays me and I’ve been sleeping non stop because of the Chemo and shots since Thursday night. I was truly grateful to live vicariously threw your photos ans exclamations. If this cancer doesn’t kill me I want to do something so bold as you sometime before I kick the bucket. You are so sweet..thanks for the window to what life can be if you go out and do just do it…
My best, Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
Amanda saysApril 13, 2008 at 9:29 am
Ohhh, I was born in Eugene, the stories you could have picked up in that strange, sweet place. Darn it all fatigue.
Grandma J saysApril 13, 2008 at 10:01 am
I’m pouting because Bossy spent five nights in CA and only three hours in the much bigger state of Texas.
I am really pouting because if I had stayed in CA this would be a moot subject. I imagine it is anyway.
Jealousy is such a necessary evil.
Andi Sexton (rrlscrapgal) saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:04 am
Well Bossy… Are you going to come over the East side of Oregon???? As in Eastern Oregon??? I’m talking the REAL Eastern Oregon… Not Bend, which most of those Central Oregon folks call Eastern Oregon, but places like Pendleton, or La Grande or Baker City… as in cows, cowboys, and clean air, skies and streets.
Let me know.. I can hook you up with some great tour sites… Baker City has wifi.
And honey, you ain’t seen ‘hot’ until you see men in wranglers and hats… I married one!
Laura saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:09 am
Looks like alot of fun in SF! Bossy you look great in that photo. Road trips do you good!
moi saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:14 am
eugene sucks. keep driving.
Beth from The Funny Farm saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:30 am
Looks like a great time! What a trip!
Glennia saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:31 am
It was a pleasure to meet the famous Bossy. And people, she looked even better than the photos show, after driving for a kazillion hours and sleeping on couches and in guest rooms for a couple of weeks. Bossy is made of awesome.
Please, please move to SF.
laura saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:38 am
Just found your blog the other night; it’s great and what a fun road trip. I checked it out this morning to find out where your trip has taken you and you’re in Eugene of all places, my town! Too bad with fatigue and limited experience in town, I could have shown you around and given you a better place to stay : )
Have a fun & safe trip!
Andrea saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:42 am
Don’t worry, BOSSY won’t be man-napping THIS real-live-man because he is the spitting image of her cousin! The horrors! Of course, he’s ALL MINE, anyway, and I don’t share well.
We had the best time with BOSSY and all you SF bloggers!
operagal saysApril 13, 2008 at 11:42 am
$4.00/lb for what looks like SMELT?
Its not like they had to fly them in from somewhere…yikes, what are the gas prices like?
Speaking of that, I have sent you a few more shekels for gas money.
See you in Detroit soon –
Isabel Kallman saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:10 pm
so much fun!
kate saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:39 pm
i am in sf, right! now!
and did all that stuff too, but took pictures that aren’t nearly as good.
TechMama saysApril 13, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Hey, So glad you came to San Francisco and that we could celebrate with you in your fabulous road trip. I was a East Coaster myself before coming to CA – so please come back and buy that fixer upper we will can call it Bossy Palace and have fun parties all the time.
The Domestic Goddess saysApril 13, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I just read about Bossy’s Roadtrip in our little local paper. You’re a celebrity now, Bossy!
San Fran. Isn’t that, like, a million $$ for a one bedroom condo? I couldn’t afford a closet there, let alone a family home.
Angela saysApril 13, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Oh I loves Bossy and am loving your road trip too. Also love Eugene. Pretty. Thanks for the updates!
Franca Bollo saysApril 13, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Holy crap. The photo you took on Mason Street facing Union is less than 5 blocks from my house. At the time, I was 175 miles from my house in Chico where my father was making his annual 10-day visit to the local hospital. The things he’ll do to get me to visit. He specializes in obscure ailments — all treatable, thus far.
Come back, Little Bossy! You can stay with me at the foot of SF’s steepest street! Wiyh your own bathroom! And Bay views!Just a short walk (short by SF standards) to Peets!
BTW, I discovered your site at Tongue in Cheek where I read your comment, amidst all the very earnest ones, and thought, “Who IS this woman?” I’ve been dropping by almost daily ever since. Corey, of TIC, is my cousin and her father is in the same hospital as my father.
Sarah saysApril 13, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I am new to your blog and love it.
Also, you have fab hair. I too have curly hair, but it never looks quite as nice as yours….
Assertagirl saysApril 13, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Assertagirl wonders if Bossy will be returning to San Francisco in July.
And has anyone else ever noticed how hard it is to post a comment to Bossy’s site that is not written in the third person?
Assertagirl saysApril 13, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Assertagirl wonders if Bossy will be returning to San Francisco in July.
Mom101 saysApril 13, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I love a woman who can get hectare into a post.
Manic Mommy saysApril 13, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Bossy’s SF host has adorable glasses – and very Boston taste in coffee.
Fantastic pictures. Now sleep!
Momo Fali saysApril 13, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Is the sky ALWAYS fecking blue in California? SO not fair to us Ohioans. Not at all.
Dawn saysApril 14, 2008 at 12:35 am
ah you got to cuddle my Victoria!
I may get to find you in KC – which is way far out of my area, but I’ll be back there in the wake of the crazy that has been the last 3 weeks.
Stefania/CityMama saysApril 14, 2008 at 2:00 am
I look like I am eating your hair. And your hair tastes good.
Come back anytime. You are a treasure.
Noelle saysApril 14, 2008 at 9:34 am
In driver’s ed in high school in New Jersey we learned how to curb our tires to keep the cars from falling away and the driver’s ed teacher said it was because, “one of us might end up in San Francisco some day.”
Emily R saysApril 14, 2008 at 11:28 am
If you hadn’t mentioned that there was a man at your get-together, I might not have looked closely enough. Sure enough, there he was.
Cathouse Teri saysApril 14, 2008 at 4:43 pm
That’s a lotta cute people in one little Starbuck’s!
Beth saysApril 14, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Oh, hmmm, my hometown! It was a hot weekend here, wasn’t it? I did not have a Bossy star sighting alas, and am too lame to have a blog that would count me among the lucky hosts.
In any case the fixer-upper, depending on location, would run you over a million.
meleah rebeccah saysApril 16, 2008 at 8:10 am
I *heart* San Fransisco. Its also the last town on planet earth where you can hiss and boo in the movies. But yes, The Hills are out of control. 🙂
Al_Pal saysMay 2, 2008 at 2:37 am
Just for the record, there is a good amount of RE under a mil in SF, including family homes.
Of course, they’re still over half a mil if you want something bigger than a studio or 1-bedroom. 😛
But the neighborhood I live in has hundreds of Single Family Homes [with 3-4 bedrooms] in the 6-800k range. 😛
Very glad to see this post, I had been wondering what happened! [I’m VDog’s sister, she posted excited to see you, but didn’t do a write up.] Yet? ;D
Glad you had an awesome trip! I’m enjoying reading about it!