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And Now For A Guest Post Compliments Of Bossy’s Son.

Bon día! Son of Bossy here, forced against his will volunteering to weigh in with the goings-on back home.

Bossy has been gone three weeks. Or, to give bliss its deserving respect, approximately 27,360 minutes. But already the house is adorned with the marks of machismo:

masculinity2

The most interesting thing about living in a Bossy-less universe is that so many of her life lessons endure. Take, for example, her pleas to maintain a
well-ordered living space:

messy-room

Or her constant endeavors to keep a well-stocked refrigerator representing all corners of the nutrition pyramid:

fridge

It’s true that life sans Bossy isn’t quite as glamorous as expected. The family Dane misses Bossy so much she can’t even keep her ears straight:

stella-1

But Son of Bossy thinks the Dane is being a bit of a baby. After all, who dares to pout in an environment as nurturing as this?

neglect

We’ve all been dealing with our melancholy in different ways. Son of Bossy compensates by keeping careful watch of his mother’s movements: I think she’s in Carolina? Dakota? Myanmar?

Bossy’s Daughter copes by generally ignoring the circumstance completely, instead gallivanting around town with her older theater friends and attending to her own circuit of sleepovers. But Bossy’s daughter does a nice job, when home, of mimicking many of Bossy’s habits—such as walking around while brushing her teeth, and filling the house with the loud clatter of her peck-style typing.

Meanwhile Bossy’s husband passes the bulk of his days manning the Strategic House Initiative Table, where his role is to guide the perpetually cursing Bossy to the closest Mocha Latte.

dad

Son of Bossy won’t even venture into the implications of how Bossy’s Husband’s bass somehow manages to be situated in all of Bossy’s favorite spots throughout the house. We’ll just call it cute. Because psychological transference doesn’t have the same romantic ring:

bass

In other news previously reported here, ohmyfeckinggodBarackO’Bamacametomyhighschool. Luckily Son of Bossy kept his cool around Barack O’Boyfriend. That’s probably why he had the presence of mind to snap this beautifully centered artistic masterpiece of Obama entering the gymnasium:

obamawalks

Obama’s speech was brilliant, and although Bossy complained that no one captured Barack and Bossy’s son sharing a moment, she didn’t realize a photo does exist of the two soulmates, and here it is:

randomlady

The Barack town meeting invigorated Son of Bossy and other members of the community—and soon the Obama Headquarters was overflowing with volunteers. In one instance, they shuttled the phone-bankers out to a speech given by a little known politician who Son of Bossy likes to call John Kerry. Son of Bossy ended up with a lovely hand-written note from the former presidential candidate:

kerrynote

Son of Bossy doesn’t really know what the note says because penmanship isn’t a prerequisite for congress–but it’s either “Good luck at Columbia” or “For Christ’s sake, hire me to speak: I need the work.”

Apart from the political excitement, a few days ago Son of Bossy got a chance to meet his future classmates and roommate at Columbia University’s Days on Campus program:

columbia

Other than that, life goes on much as it has. Bossy’s humor is greatly missed, as are her occasional wild-hair tirades and her late-night monopolization of the family room, and did Bossy’s son mention the wild-hair tirades? Ah, those were the days.

One last thing: in order to hedge against the inevitable divorce papers, Bossy’s Husband requested at least one representation of the neat, orderly, and tidy house that the family has worked to maintain:

dollhouse

It’s been fun. Son of Bossy, signing out.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Son of Bossy is a riot!! Great photos,and wonderful descriptions.
    I’m sure Bossy feels very relieved, and not at all anxious to rush home.
    Does SOB (Son Of Bossy) do house-sitting for others?

    Reply

  2. Son of Bossy, your mother has taught you well. She spoke fondly of you at our meeting, and gave her strong opinion that you MAY NOT take a bicycle to Columbia, as well as the fact that you have not yet expressed a desire to take a bicycle to Columbia. Based on that conversation alone, I know you are missing her terribly.

    Reply

  4. I can see now why you’re going to Columbia; its takes a lot of brain power to understance the psychological transference can be broken down into “cute”.

    Ha, ha, ha!!

    Reply

  8. You Da Man!! What a stellar fun-filled loooong substantial post!! Bossy’s-son.. you are great!

    (I love the reflection in the blue Columbia thingamajig!)

    I’ve been wondering about the homefront; glad to know all is well. Pass the hot peppers and mayo, please!

    Reply

  9. Son of Bossy…Question, Does Columbia University know that they are getting a REAL internet star? One that doesn’t need to get naked or go to rehab to have thousands of Cougar like women adoring him? No..well I guess it’s better that way….

    Thanks for the guest post!! You lerned good to blog.. :0)

    Chocolate Martini’s with Son of Bossy’s Mom on Sunday..woo hoo

    Reply

  10. Thanks son of Bossy! And congrats on meeting all those cool Democrats. All you need now are your Al Gore and your Walter Mondale signatures to complete your collection!

    PS – I would ditch the middle aged woman get-up if I were you. It doesn’t do you justice.

    Reply

  11. Bravo, bravo, and bravo, Son of Bossy! Encore!

    And regarding the neat, orderly and tidy?

    Sounds exactly like how Bossy’s handling her Excellent Cross-Country Man-Mapping Spree. Bossy’s attention to order and “a place for everything” fits neatly with my theory of there being one Cowboy Josh stuffed in a “sleeping bag” strapped very orderly–if not lifeless–in the back seat of her vehicle.

    Reply

  14. I can see that the boys are missing What’s-Her-Face terribly. But will two weeks be long enough to tidy up before she gets home? Methinks there’s a storm comin’!

    Reply

  25. Excellent post SOB. I missed you at the show saturday night, but I did ask “little Bossy” So, do you miss your mom yet? And with that adorable face she looked at me and said “No, why, did she go someplace?”

    Reply

  26. Excellent job, young man! Your mama would be proud… except for the parts poking fun at her, the pink stuff she owns and all she and her stuff represent.

    Or did I mean “especially” instead of “except”?!

    Reply

  27. The apple does not fall far from the tree. He has his mother’s sense of humour and his father’s good looks.
    Poor Stella. Poor, poor Stella.
    Son of Bossy. S.O.B. SOB! Get it? MWAHAHAHAHA!

    Reply

  33. Son of Bossy? I’m not seein’ a problem with the state of the house and the vitamin/nutrient dense refrigerator; it looks vaguely similar to mine, and I have three young grunts running around. Now granted, they are all weak, malnourished and smell of dirty hair…

    Also, I think Son of Bossy should get rid of the black dress and man purse. This Spring is all about color, you know.

    Reply

  37. Son, I love your self-portrait! And I think Kerry wrote “Do it faux with calendars.” He’s kind of deep, so I’m sure that’s good advice.

    Reply

  39. SOB,
    Good post and if you’re roommate situation doesn’t work out, I will gladly take the position. I don’t think it matters that I’m 1)A girl and 2)not going to Columbia. Those are minor details, just like me not living anywhere near Columbia.

    Whoot for being the youngest blogger in the group! (I think)

    Also, while it is unfortunate that your nickname initials are SOB, I have a feeling they are going to stick. You knew they would.

    Reply

  41. Son of Bossy? I’m not seein’ a problem with the state of the house and the vitamin/nutrient dense refrigerator; it looks vaguely similar to mine, and I have three young grunts running around. Now granted, they are all weak, malnourished and smell of dirty hair…

    Also, I think Son of Bossy should get rid of the black dress and man purse. This Spring is all about color, you know.

    Reply

  44. Son of Bossy – your mama might think of allowing you to have your own day, once a week, to rule the blog. BTW love the red purse, excellent choice when dressing as a middle aged woman…..now go let that dog back in the house for fecks sake.

    Reply

  46. Son of Bossy is a formidable guest blogger with an excellent sense of the family prose style. Also excellent taste in hats.

    This was a fantastic read, and I’m sure Bossy is delighted with the home-front update, particularly that the oven door in Tidy House is apparently being left open continually as a means of economizing on the heat bill while she is gone. Good thinking!

    Reply

  49. that was one hilarious read, even better coming from you, son of bossy, cause it is a fresh change. i see the writing humor runs in the family! I don’t chime into this blog often, but i am glad i did. this was fuuunnnny.
    hope mom comes homes safely and just give you guys enough time to clean up!

    Reply

  50. Dear Son of Bossy:

    I’m so glad that your education hasn’t drained you of a sense of humor and some creativity and your penchant for dressing like middle aged (?!! if total age is 142) women.

    Well done.

    Now do your homework and make sure your sister brushes her teeth.

    -WRH

    Reply

  52. Why is Son of Bossy bothering with college when he has a solid future as a comedy writer?

    Please don’t tell Bossy I said that.

    Reply

  56. Don’t tell BOSSY, but this may be one of the funniest posts ever to be published on her site.

    I would stalk you, too, but I only have time to deal with your mom.

    Megan (Bossy’s Unofficial Official Blog Stalker, thank you)

    Reply

  59. I’m glad you deciphered Kerry’s note, Bossy Jr., as it clearly seemed to read “Don’t bonk at Columbia.” While this might be very good advice, it hardly seemed appropriate.

    Enjoy your spring semester of your senior year!

    — Laurie @ Foolery

    Reply

  60. Hold on everyone. Wait just a minute. That was NOT Son of Bossy. That was really Bossy making everyone THINK it was her son. I’m sure he’s very witty and talented, but Bossy HAD to have written this post.

    Reply

  65. Dear SOB,
    We’ve all been taking good care of your Mom.
    I think I can be so bold as to speak for all of us that she’s met on this trip when I say she’s wonderful and made us all feel just as wonderful.
    Shayera

    Reply

  67. Bossy and son of Bossy are getting famous in the UK too, I blogged about you on our intranet about how Bossy is an inspiration.

    Rock on!

    PS I can’t believe you got meet Barack O’Boyfriend, I’m soooooooooo jealous

    Reply

  68. it just amazes me that SOB and GSOM (grandson of mine) was able to clear my many cassaroles out of the frige, and caught that one picture of his messy room as I was sorting things out and putting them in place, constantly tidying and quietly nurturing every minute of their
    (bliss while bossys away)alone time.

    Reply

  73. Son of Bossy – do not fret about the Obama O’Boyfriend moment – Bossy spent time with P-Dub and I am sure she will know EXACTLY how to Photoshop your cross-dressing photo into one of you in your “normal” clothes.

    Keep the home fires burning! well done!

    Reply

  76. Son of Bossy, I think you have a career in blogging! Don’t they teach bloggy courses at Columbia? Perhaps you could major…

    P.S. Your mom has been staying in my house exactly 14 hours and I haven’t witnessed a hair tirade yet. I’m waiting…

    Reply

  82. Ahem, Miss Emily.
    Don’t ever call Bossy a liar. She’s sweet, wonderful, and for those of us who have met her know that she’s the real deal. Also, some Bossy fan in your area will hunt you down.
    Also, if you go to bossy’s youtube, you will find an excellent (OMGAZ I’M IN LOVE) video of SOB tearing it up on some tenors during indoor drumline.

    So. Freakin. There.

    Reply

  83. OMG. HEART SWOON SWOON FAINT. At the risk of sounding like a creep as I a nice healthy eight years older than Son of Bossy (who is not at all an SOB!) I would like to say that I am in love, and of child bearing age. Can I be betrothed to this handsome, whip smart creation of Bossy? DAG.

    Reply

  84. Oh, Bossy. You done brung him up right. That is one hellafunny, hellacool young man right there. Much impressed.

    Reply

  85. Dear Bossy’s Son:

    My husband has a crush on your mom. I can’t decided if I have a bigger crush on you or your dad.

    That sounds icky even to me.

    Good luck at Columbia.

    Reply

  86. You’re brilliant, son of bossy. I would have killed for an incoming student who wrote like this when I was teaching writing. Heck, I would have had you teach the course. Good luck at Columbia!

    Reply

  88. The Bossy style is obviously genetic. Way to go, Son of Bossy! As a Barnard grad way, way back in the Triassic Period, I can tell you that the heaps of vanity and pride are a gift that keep on giving. Use them wisely, young man.

    Reply

  98. Son of Bossy is quite the silver tongued devil. Mother of two – a 3 and a 4 year old is optimistic that someday they too…will achieve great writing skills.

    Reply

  101. OMG this was one of THE funniest posts I’ve read in a looooooooooooong time (with the exception of yours, dear Bossy)!!

    The bossy apple indeed does not fall far from the bossy tree!!

    Bravo! Bravo!

    Encore! Encore! (please?)

    Reply

  103. Career as a comedy writer? Probably beneath a Columbia grad, but you sure are funny Bossy’s son. I don’t usually laugh out loud while reading blogs. Very rarely, in fact. And I am so jealous about Barack Obama and John Kerry. Jeez. (or is that Geez?)

    Reply

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