This Oskar food processor. The bowl isn’t much bigger than Bossy’s fist, and yet this is where she’s processed twenty-three years worth of soups, sauces, toppings, and dips — batch by excruciating batch.
This Oskar was a gift from Bossy’s first boyfriend, who was many years her senior, who she was also living with. A couple of years later when Bossy moved out in the middle of the night, shoving her stuff in large green trash bags, she left this beloved Oskar behind.
But two years after that, Bossy’s ex-boyfriend was preparing to move across eight states and therefore held an enormous Yard Sale which Bossy helped to organize because by this time they were best friends. And there on the sale table was this Oskar and Bossy was all, “Oh no you dih’int,” and she dropped it down in the bottom of her purse before her ex-boyfriend-now-best-friend could register his complaint.
Anyway, the Oskar. They don’t make them anymore — at least not exactly like this. And as many times as Bossy has flirted with a Cuisinart, she just keeps coming home to this.
And yes, it’s covered in twenty-three years worth of satay.