I’m confused by all the different brands of makeup, all varying in price from drugstore brands to department store brands. How do I find the right one for me?
Exactly. Huge problem, especially when half of the experts suggest saving the equivalent of a beach house by purchasing perfectly acceptable drugstore brands, while the other half warn that the beach will leave your face parched and in need of really pricey makeup.
Bossy believes all answers lie in scientific information. Let’s begin with brand names. Urban Decay and Smashbox. Can we all agree to rule these out based on their grotesque imagery? This is makeup for the addicted and abused. Next we have Lorac and Nars. Excuse Bossy, but weren’t they two recurring characters on Mork and Mindy?
And Bossy refuses to buy the drugstore brands of her childhood based on three decades of abusive jingles and ad copy. EASY BREEZY BEAUTIFUL COVER GIRL. Eeew and L’OREAL, BECAUSE I’M WORTH IT.
If the makeup company is named after a person, Bossy thinks it’s acceptable to judge the way they look. For this reason we can forget about Max Factor.
And Estee Lauder.
And Coco Chanel.
But what about Laura Mercier?
And Target’s Sonia Kashuk.
Trish McEvoy is plenty cute, but Bossy doesn’t really trust how she’s always photographed in the same retouched black turtlneck.
Bossy thinks Bobbi Brown wins for cutest owner of a makeup line, except, um, she never wears any makeup.
Or maybe it’s Maybelline.