Every year it’s the same thing. Torture of the highest degree: Bathing Suit Shopping. I’m not Sports Illustrated material, but I’m not bad either.
How can I find the perfect suit for me without the humiliation of the skeevy department store dressing rooms?
– Shuddering in Anticipation
Here’s the thing – this question was written by Bossy’s husband. Yes Way! And it’s sweet, actually. He loves Bossy and thought it would be a great idea to lob her a question she has half a hope of answering. Either that or he’s totally a transvestite.
So Bossy did a little Internet research and has this to report: Self-conscious women have tons to learn from Cross-dressers. These guys are way better at being girls than we are. They’re more generous and more ingenious. They come in every shape and size and don’t seem hung up on perfecting an unattainable female ideal – they’re just happy frolicking around in nylons being girls for five minutes.
Bossy thinks they understand that femininity is really just a state of mind. Wrapped in pink chiffon. Here are some of their inspiring axioms:
* If you act like a guy in a dress, that’s how people will treat you. But as soon as you believe in yourself, others will gain confidence in you.
* It’s not the clothes you love that are expensive – it’s all the stuff you buy and never wear. To this end, prepare a detailed wardrobe plan and stick to it.
* Never be ashamed of being yourself.
* If you have hairy legs but can’t shave, wear two pairs of pantyhose. If you can still see the hair then try darker hose.
* You won’t always be accepted as a woman. But if you conduct yourself to the best of your ability, it will show others that you are a real person who deserves to be taken seriously regardless of gender.
* Acting nervous only draws unwanted attention.
* Keep Band-Aids in your purse at all times. In an emergency they can be used to fix a fallen hemline.
* Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t pass.
* Beard cover is the most critical aspect of makeup.