Hello travelers and welcome to Hope Travel’s Greek Island Adventure. My name is Khatul Shal and I am an Adventure Representative.
I’m not a tour guide in the traditional sense – I have in fact never been to Greece before this. But Greece can’t be too different from my native Afghanistan – I mean right?
For the next eight days we will travel by yacht on the clear blue Aegean Sea from Mykonos to Santorini with possible stops on the Islands of Sikinos, Folegandros, Thirasia, and Sifnos. Thank you sir, but that wasn’t a sneeze. These islands are considered to be the world’s most beautiful although each has its own character.
While we strive to stick to the route as described in your full color Trip Dossier, on occasion it may be necessary to deviate from our intended route – so please exercise a bit of flexibility. The New Jersey coastline is also a very very beautiful destination. Nothing wrong with Jersey.
Introduce yourself to your fellow travelers. There are eight of you in all – and we’re proud to announce that you come from all corners of the world! Or at least various exits off the Long Island Expressway. Lady in the blue bucket hat, I notice you’re engaged in a head count. You may have noticed that there are only seven of you at present. The eighth member of our group experienced an Arrival Complication. Although this sort of inconvenience is hard to anticipate, I promise Hope Travel is doing everything within its power to post bail.
And speaking of power, we hope you made note of this tour’s Physical Rating of 2. This means light walking. Those passengers over 70 years of age, we hope you brought your signed physician questionnaires. Please pass them forward at this time. I see you are all over 70. This should not present a problem. We have been known to provide special bonus accommodations just for seniors.
While we wait to board the yacht, let’s talk about this tour’s Culture Shock Rating of 3. This means the occasional cold shower and remote dining destination. Please keep in mind that this is part of your authentic adventure experience! If you checked the International Crime & Safety website before departing on your journey you found out that Greece is a very peaceful country. However the good folks at Crime & Safety post daily updates and today’s report will make you cough up last night’s Soutzouki. For this reason we highly recommend the use of a neck wallet.
But please keep in mind that the Greeks are in fact the friendliest people in all of Southern Europe. That’s correct, you in the back, sometimes too friendly. We’re looking into that small matter from last year. The expressed opinions of that shopkeeper in Milos – especially the part about the goat and the virgin – are not the shared opinions of Hope Travel Limited Unlimited.
But as travelers you also have a responsibility to minimize your impact on the native people and environment. Please consider leaving your bio-hazardous toiletries behind. I will be collecting them now – along with your watches, cameras, and iPod players for “safe keeping”.
And now I’d like to familiarize you with Hope Travel’s pride, our 49-foot yacht. This yacht is fully licensed although we don’t actually have the license with us. But trust me, I’ve seen the license and it’s quite licensey.
All aboard!
Watch your step. Please assist those fellow passengers utilizing walkers.
Our boat features four twin-share cabins with bathroom and shower. Lady in the fuchsia tracksuit, you look perplexed. Perhaps when you read your full color Trip Dossier you became confused by the “four twin-share cabins with bathroom and shower” description and erroneously thought this meant that each twin-share cabin came with its own bathroom, instead of one bathroom for all of you. It took our newly promoted Public Relations Officer two days to write that description. That woman earns her salary every day!
This room here – I said THIS ROOM HERE – this is the Dining Room. Don’t worry about the debilitating noise – it’s coming from the generator in the corner, just to the right of the Twin Diesel engine. The gentleman with the white sunblock on your nose? Please be careful not to knock over those fire extinguishers. And aren’t we lucky to be traveling with six fire extinguishers this time! As you know, the price of meals are not included in your original Adventure Tour quote, however we stock some basic food items available to everyone who wants to make a small donation to our food kitty.
Euros are the required currency for this trip, but I’m willing to take American dollars. I also accept Pesos, Franks, Pounds, Rupees, Yen, Litas, Denars, Leks, and Takas.
Before we Weigh Anchor, I need to make sure your return flights are prearranged. It’s important to collect your passport information at this time in order to process those tickets. We’ll also need your bank account numbers, social security numbers, PIN numbers, and the keys to your Buick LeSabre.
Hope you enjoy your Island Adventure!
I like the neck wallet. I cannot make the trip, can you bring me back a couple, especially a nice one for Mom.