In the presence of God, our family, friends, the Republican Party, and the State Judiciary, I heterosexual male, take you heterosexual female – to be my lawfully wedded heterosexual mate from this day straight until some different day. In good times and in bad – would you believe mediocre? For richer or poorer – and I swear on my Country Club membership this has nothing to do with your beefy trust fund or Princeton legacy. In sickness and in health – unless that sickness has anything to do with Gout or heaven help us Psoriasis. Or any disease that is invasive or otherwise related to the onset of old age. And I take you to be my heterosexual mate unconditionally with a handful of exceptions – and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. Both shall live in Macon Georgia.