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i am bossy

The Daily Poverty Post.

costume

Why, Bossy, what is this cacophony of color, you may be asking, and Bossy will tell you:

You are looking at a ring on the table left behind by a very hot bowl of soup. OK, you may not be looking at that, but Bossy is, because Bossy’s table is a hand-me-down farm table which is very old and Bossy has had it for two decades but she still doesn’t know how to care for it, which is usually fine as most scars just add character, but occasionally something like this hot soup thing will happen which isn’t shabby chic but rather scabby chic and Bossy has no idea how to get rid of it without polishing her entire table which she’s afraid to do lest it become sticky or worse, discolored.

The end.

Oh sorry, you’re here for the Poverty Party? Right.

You’re looking at a photo of $8 tulips which are now nothing but a vase of tu losing their lips but for the last week they have brought great joy to Bossy so she isn’t here to talk about the price of flowers or how she shouldn’t be splurging on them.

No, you are looking at a costume, and it belongs to Bossy’s daughter. She is a tap dancer and a few other things Bossy is yet to understand in her Middle School production of Bugsy Malone. The flapper skirt was handmade by the costume department, but also pictured here are the tap shoes, which are not to be confused with character shoes which look exactly the same and cost exactly the same except they don’t have taps.

Bossy’s daughter is an actress and Bossy and her husband are very proud of her dedication which is wholly hers, but the point: kid hobbies tend to be expensive, and this one is no exception.

Bossy likes to make lists of hobbies her daughter didn’t select to make herself feel better: it’s not sailing or horseback riding or coal mining, but acting does entail musical theater classes and participation fees and the occasional equipment update, which amounts to tap shoes, ballet shoes, character shoes, dance sneakers, jazz shoes, and other shoes, all at various, completely inconvenient times.

Bossy’s daughter is situated in a network of stage hand-me-downs, but her feet grow so fast and she never seems to be the correct hand-me-down size at the correct time, although Bossy isn’t beyond binding her feet.

And that, that is the end.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Bossy can be thankful her daughter is not a hockey player because hockey costs us about $1300 a year just for ice time. Not to mention ice skates, hockey pants, shoulder pads, elbow pads, socks, jerseys (reused, thank God). Oh, and how about driving from CT to NY for games almost every weekend? Next week is my son’s last hockey tournament (college next year!) and I’m going to miss it, but I’m not going to miss writing those checks…

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  2. I actually got rid of a similar ring on my table by smearing a couple of drops (you will light this so make sure to not go over-board) of cologne (I don’t mean the expensive perfume, I mean ethyl alcohol really) on the table, rubbing it on the stain with my finger and lighting it with a lighter. The flame will die in a couple of seconds and your table will be good as new. I did this on my new dark polished coffee table (it had a huge whitish/grey stain) and it worked really well. It doesn’t ruin the polish either.

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  3. Okay. I know no one asked me but, yes I am happy that Bossy’s daughter is not a hockey player. No reason. I’m just happy about it. And secondly, I don’t think lighting your water-ring-stained table on fire with alcohol is a good idea. I dunno. Just not feeling it…

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  4. You’ve reminded me that I need to buy ballet shoes this p.m. for Saturday’s class.

    I too can’t stand the ‘middle’ of season add’l purchase of footwear!

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  5. Bossy should try lemon oil on her table. It’s natural, it does NOT alter the color or leave residue, but is very helpful for “restoring the natural luster of the wood”. Mom2werogers wants to know what luster is, but knows she loves this product. It is also recession friendly priced. As for shoes for bossy’s daughter…perhaps duct tape? 🙂

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  6. Did you know you could get really nice Tulips at Trader Joe’s for $4.99… a $3.01 savings.

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  7. I think you can rub a pecan on that spot.

    My nephew’s hobby was flying, as in airplanes. He had to pay for his own lessons until it became obvious that he intended a career in aviation. On his 17th birthday he had a choice of getting his airplane license or his driver’s license, couldn’t do both the same day. He chose his airplane license.

    He now flies the C-5 in the Air National Guard and in his regular life flies “poor people” around North America & stays in places like the Four Seasons in Chicago, B&B’s in the Hamptons and the Greenbrier in West Virginia. And the recession has been great for his employer, the big companies may have to sell their corporate jets but the executives still need to fly on non-commercial airplanes. His airline is hiring!

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  8. I am so laughing at the suggestion from # 2 that bossy take a lighter to her table.
    I am sure that your suggestion works…
    but Bossy?

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  9. A. I think the hardware or craft store sells wax crayons the color of different wood stains. Rub the crayon on the ring, and buff to a shine. I saw it on an episode of Trading Spaces back in the 00’s when that show was still cool.

    B. I’m sure you’ve tried this, but have you looked on eBay for a deal on dance shoes? Or maybe Craigslist?

    C. I kind of want that skirt. Would it be inappropriate for a 36 year old woman to wear that to work?

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  10. I just want to second that “hockey is uber expensive” comment. My daughter plays, and so far the regular season has cost me $1600. This does include a lot of equipment replacement due to growth this year and two out-of-town tournaments, but seriously! She’s in the 4th grade!!! It is her passion, so we keep it up, but pretty soon Mama’s gonna have to start hookin’.

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  11. And people are still not taking advantage of SWAPPING all of this stuff.
    It needs to be approached from all angles..
    schools, libraries, bulletin boards, local websites, and on an on.
    The waste is disgraceful.

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  12. My 6 year old has been taking horseback riding lessons for a year now. They are $40 per lesson so $160/month – UGH. So far no other expenses except boots for rapidly growing feet but SOON we will be in for riding clothes and such as she competes. My husband periodically asks me with alarm and concern…we are NOT going to have to BUY a horse, are we?

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  13. Try mayo…. seriously. I don’t know why, but it works… and really, what’s not to love about a jar of Hellman’s?

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  15. Poster #13 is right. My dad was an antique dealer and may removes moves rings left by hot or cold items. Slather it on, let it sit for a while… sometimes it takes a few times before the full effect takes place.

    PS: Only real mayo works
    PPS: Lock the dog up, I don’t know how to get dog mayo puke up

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  16. I can empathize with the cost of dance shoes. I took dance lessons for six expensive years. I had generations of other children’s tap shoes, I am sure. But jazz shoes? Couldn’t share them. They mold to your feet so well that you pretty much destroy them for any other person trying to use them. And then, the cost of the costumes., and taking tap and jazz, that meant more costumes, that were only worn for two recitals, which meant $$ for my mom and boy am I thankful I didn’t pay for it! But now that I want to get into dancing again, I am clutching my heart thinking I would have preferred the prices available a little over a decade ago then now.

    And that, my friends, is what we call an excessively long and rambly commentt.
    The end.

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  20. Check out freecycle.org. Find your local Freecycle group and post your want. No guarantee you are going to get it, but someone may have a daughter who has just outgrown her shoes. And you can even get rid of the still usable stuff that does not fit anymore. Or still usable stuff that is cluttering up currently unusable space without filling up a landfill!

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  21. The dancing gear for my granddaughter is much cheaper than all the sports gear for my grandson. I just bought him a new bat, because he out grew the one I bought last year. The cost for a new bat? $210! Don’t get me started on the shoes!

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  22. Bossy:
    Don’t trash the tulips!
    Plop the bulbs (with their leaves, which they need to store energy for next year’s blossoms) into a flower bed. give them a little bulb food in the fall. Next spring you may have some nice flowers. No promises, but sometimes this works, if the squirrels don’t eat the bulbs first.
    Have a good weekend, p.j.

    Reply

  23. I am officially glad that my daughter didn’t like hockey. I hear that in addition to being uber expensive, it smells!! I thought I was done with extracurricular expenses when she went to college. I failed to consider sorority dues (and the long list of clothing that they are required to own! Ugh!)!!

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  24. Love Bossy’s table. My mom found an old one like that when we were kids. We all loved it. And then it started sagging in the middle and it was time to move on.

    My daughter rides horses. Lessons are expensive, and the shows are costly too. But she loves it. She is not very athletlic like her younger brother. So this is her thing, where she shines and it realy boosts her confidence. It is very worth it for that reason.

    My daughter’s BFF is in theater. Her parents go through the same thing you do.

    Good luck to Bossy’s daughter in her performances 🙂

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  25. I would plant the tulips in the spring to enjoy for next year. On being green, saving money and being envirnomentally friendly I am having a garden exchange at work mid-May so everyone can share pieces from their gardens and exchange anmong ourselves.

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  26. JK (commentor #3) made my tea come out my nose – I’m a little out of it today but even thru my allergy fog i was wondering if anyone would be so annoyed by a small table stain that they were motivated to set a piece of furniture on fire.
    i will have to see if this solution is mentioned in helpful hints from heloise

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  27. Not that you asked for all these table solutions, but here’s one that has worked for me many times. Put a clean, white t-shirt over the ring. Put iron on hot setting (dry) and iron it until the spot disappears. I found this solution on Google and it totally worked for me. The ring is caused by steam trapped in the table.

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  28. Add to Bossy’s list of things she can be thankful her daughter does not participate in because ohmygoodness they are expensive:

    Select Soccer (2,000 a year not including tournaments)
    Club gymnastics ($400 a month)
    Karate ($200 a month)
    Swim Club (requires a country club membership: $1,000 initially plus $200 a month plus $1,000 swim fee)

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  29. I must add that I’m doubtful if mayo works, because if it did my whole house would sparkle.

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  30. I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but my daughter is a writer. Paper + pen = CHEAP! My son is a baker, so we go through a lot of butter and sugar. Still cheap as a hobby goes–and tasty.

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  31. 1. Be sure to post a video of BD in the performance please.

    2. And also the lighting-the-table-ring on fire experiment. I want to see that.

    3. I learned about pecans (oil therefrom) recoloring scratches on furniture at age 5 when I was in love with Zorro and he compelled me to scratch his name on my brand new dresser with a straight pin. Mom, no doubt furious but still competent, made me rub the scratch with a pecan half. I suppose Yankee nuts work too. Then I had to write Zorro’s name 100 times which was a LOT. I was mad at Zorro for days.

    4. No clue about fixing rings on furniture. I put sturdy plastic under tablecloths when I have guests over. No worry about inevitable wine spills. No one ever sees my lovely table though. Let us know what you figure out.

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  32. Bound feet are the new gnu for 2009. For special occasions such as dancing or plays such as Bugsy Malone, use foil and glue. If you have any extra cupcake sprinkles in your cupboard, they add a nice sparkle. Foil can be shaped to fit any foot. Yay foil!

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  33. Let me be the millionth person to say: Be *grateful* hockey is not the chosen passion. Even as an “aunt” of a teen hockey player, I have beee recruited for more driving trips to rinks in New England than I care to have dealt with.
    And no, I don’t want the “Greatest Hits 5 DVD” of his greatest skating clips! 1-4 shall suffice.

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  34. I bought tulips this afternoon. Inspired by this discussion?. We have sun today so everything is cheerier now.

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  35. Luckily my dd has given most of her expensive hobbies although I know she wants to do acting too. But when she was in preschool we went through a few pairs of tap shoes – OMG were they expensive!

    Did you get the 2-lips for Valentine’s Day?

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  36. I second njf’s (#20) suggestion: Freecycle rocks!

    It’s free (to sign up) and such a super way to “re-use/recycle” — spares the landfill *and* our wallet. Go forth and Freecycle!!!

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  37. We are still in the Parents of a Former Dancer Recovery Program. Shoes, costumes, regular dance clothes for classes, not to mention the physical therapy for 2 ankle injuries.
    Luckily daughter had a part-time job as an assistant teacher at the dance studio from the time she was in 8th grade. It knocked over $100/month off the cost of the program.
    She also made a few bucks providing the activity at little girl’s birthday parties. She would teach the little girls a dance that they performed for the parents. $25 for one hour of keeping the birthday guests entertained!

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  38. Scabby chic. This is why I come here, for the boyfriends, and for terms like shituation and scabby chic.

    Anyway.

    Now when somebody asks what happened to me and they point at the scab above my eyebrow, which of course I’ve shaved and not tweezed, because I’m sorry, no can do on the tweezing thing. But shave? Sure. Swipe, swipe, you’re done. As is the first layer of your epidermis.

    Anyway again.

    Next time they point at that scab and ask what happened, I’ll give a slight shrug of the shoulders and say, “Scabby chic. It’s in, don’t you know?”

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  40. I feel for you Bossy,kids can be so darn expensive and I have the debt to prove it. Mine was into radio control airplanes and indoor free flight. We traveled, competed, etc. It did all come to a good end as he is now an Aerospace Engineer making more than I could have dreamt for him. Wait till your gal is on Broadway!!

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  41. I loved my character shoes. And looking back, I’m wondering how the hell I did all those dancing and high kicks and whatnot in heels. It hardly seems possible.

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  42. The best stuff for old wooden furniture is called Spruce-It-up. It’s not cheap ($11) except when you realize you just saved a pricelss antique. Polish (mayo or lemon oil) will not take out the white rings. Wax crayons don’t work. This stuff will, and won’t leave a greasy dust-magnet finish. The wood will still look old, but not so weathered. I used it on a spot on my wood floor too, where my cat’s water bowl spilled over.
    Get it here. http://www.tradingpostco.com

    Reply

  43. Re: the heat ring on your table…I’ve been told to use a steam iron gingerly over the spot with a clean white tee shirt over the stain. I’ve been afraid to try it. Please try it first and let me know how it goes, okay?

    Daughter and I went to the flower show yesterday to get a taste of spring, then came home and saw the photo of your tulips. We could have saved the price of our tickets. Rats.

    I now have Ruth’s mousse cake in my fridge! And some on my hips…Oh. My. Gawd. Yum doesn’t even come close.

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  44. I did shows all through grade school, high school and college but didn’t buy my first pair of character shoes until I was in my 20’s. I guess it’s different for girls. But outside of the tap shoes my folks bought for me when I was in grade school, my theater habit never cost my folks much except the tickets to see the shows I was in. Times have changed.

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  46. My daughter recently took up Irish Dance, which we wholeheartedly supported because of the modest outfits, wholesome appeal, and family oriented activities.

    Until we learned that those modest outfits cost several thousand dollars. Because they are spun by leprauchans in Ireland. Out of solid diamonds.

    Now I’m like – why don’t we take up weeding the garden as your new hobby??

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  47. Which reminds me, I have two pairs of little boys black tap shoes that both my little boys are not little enough for anymore. They have each been worn about 5 times. I really should put them on ebay…

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  48. My son was a dancer as a kid (and professional for a while later on) and although he had a scholarship that paid for classes, I remember all those shoes – ballet, character, jazz, and tap. When he was a young teenager and growing out of each pair every 2 minutes, he took a job walking dogs to pay for them. Relief!

    Reply

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