Did you ever have a special someone whose emails are so sweet you climb from bed before dawn just so you can check the inbox to see if that special someone slipped an email present to you while you slept?
Well. Bossy has one of those special someones. And his name is Sam Spam.
As long as you have 50,000 cars come on by, Spam begins. Professional fees-free car loan bank! Medieval special sales team. All walks of life. Simplicity prepare your application by fax can bid.
But it’s the way Spam signs-off at the end of an email that always makes Bossy’s tired heart pitter pat. Loans have loan-to create the need for loans to buy cars and Cuba can also be handled. Sigh.
BH says
April 24, 2009 at 8:39 amAhhh…
Delicious romantic wakeup.
Nothing better.
mmmmmm.
BH
Stickman says
April 24, 2009 at 8:44 amThat was very moving. I might have to steal that last line!
unruly helpmeet says
April 24, 2009 at 8:45 amOut of curiosity, would you like to meet singles in your area while losing 85 pounds in 3 days and helping my father, the King of Nigeria, transfer his money to America?
Because I could help with that.
The Domestic Goddess says
April 24, 2009 at 8:53 amGee. And all I get is v1agra e-mails.
furiousBall says
April 24, 2009 at 8:54 amok, i’m going to translate what all these “penis” emails mean that i’ve been getting. penis i think is Spanish for something
Lizzy says
April 24, 2009 at 9:19 am“Cuba can be handled”? That sounds like a personal matter to me.
I got an email this morning about making my “schlong schlonger”.
Domesic Goddess (in training) says
April 24, 2009 at 9:36 amYou have to give Spam credit for not only worrying about your car needs, but also for its international/foriegn diplomacy. I appreciate that they will handle Cuba, because I just don’t have the time, ya know?
zelzee says
April 24, 2009 at 9:41 am“All walks of life………”
I feel much better knowing there is no discrimination going on here!
Debby says
April 24, 2009 at 9:57 amSpam is not YOUR special lover, he’s mine! Or so he said when he offered me bedtime help (ignoring the fact that I’m a female and don’t need to go there…)
Jeni says
April 24, 2009 at 9:59 amI think we will all sleep better tonight knowing Cuba has been handled. Thank you Spam!
Grandma J says
April 24, 2009 at 10:11 amI snub spam unless it’s accompanied by eggs. Cuban eggs.
Nanny Garcia says
April 24, 2009 at 10:23 amYeah, my faves are def the really sweet ones that offer me all the meds I could ever dream of in exchange for my credit card number.
How did they know I LOVE to over-medicate???
Caution Flag says
April 24, 2009 at 10:36 amIt’s just not fair how some girls get all the attention.
big hair envy says
April 24, 2009 at 10:58 amMy favorite spammer calls himself Ed. He likes to talk about $ex in Chinese. Or was it Chinese $ex? Some things get lost in translation.
Little Miss Sunshine State says
April 24, 2009 at 11:15 amSpam’s wife Susan sends me an email every day to tell me how much weight she has lost.
I’m guessing by now she must weigh 47 pounds.
MariaV says
April 24, 2009 at 11:18 amAll I get are weight loss, male enhancement, and breasts elargement love notes from Spam. Sigh! I knew he didn’t really love me.
POD says
April 24, 2009 at 12:04 pmYou stole my boyfriend…waaaaah
the cheap chick says
April 24, 2009 at 12:13 pmI’m just all choked up with the love over here. Spam is so sweet and attentive… wish I could find a man like that.
jen says
April 24, 2009 at 12:14 pmHAhahahahahaha!!
Reeb says
April 24, 2009 at 12:35 pmStay. In. Bed.
foolery says
April 24, 2009 at 12:38 pmSPAM offers me sex, bigger stuff, drugs, naughty photos of hot young Icktresses (yeah, like those are hard to find), money, company, and university degrees.
All I really want is junk food, but so far SPAM has not ponied up.
David says
April 24, 2009 at 12:58 pmI hate to break it to you, but your special someone often comments on my blog.
Stacey Ball says
April 24, 2009 at 1:27 pmSpam emails me all the time and typically the emails are of a very sexual nature…just sayin…
Enrico says
April 24, 2009 at 1:32 pmLOL! That’s the best e-mail ever. And I bet if you put that in another translator, you’d get very different translations.
Shelley says
April 24, 2009 at 1:33 pmI’d be scared to ask what sort of persuasion methods that his medieval sales team employs. Because somehow I’m picturing Attila the Hun and a guillotine.
Kady says
April 24, 2009 at 1:42 pm?????????
Spam is telling you that if you have a car, $50,000 can be your to borrow. He offered me at least twice that. Ha!
Mr Farty says
April 24, 2009 at 2:41 pmSpam keeps telling me that my online banking will be revoked unless I tell him my name, account number and PIN. I’d love to oblige, but I’d have to open an online banking account first.
Karen says
April 24, 2009 at 5:23 pmSpam actually believes that women enjoy being “shocked” in bed by an enormous penis. Spam is clearly a man.
chuck says
April 24, 2009 at 5:32 pmonce again, the post is awesome AS ARE the comments! woo hoo!
Jason says
April 24, 2009 at 7:22 pmI LOVE literal, direct translations, they crack me up.
I’ve been getting someone named ed commenting on my blog with this same kind of writing. But I can’t copy and paste it to have it translated because every single word is a LINK! To straight asian porn.
mrs. g. says
April 24, 2009 at 8:53 pmI think you missed the line about enlarging your penis.
Life with Kaishon says
April 24, 2009 at 10:18 pmDon’t you hate those? I mean WHAT THE HECK! I have to say though, I have gotten WAY more junk emails since I started blogging. It’s the only downside to blogging that I can think of…. well, except that my kid goes without food sometimes because I am too busy reading other blogs. That might be a downside in some people’s opinions : ).
...love Maegan says
April 24, 2009 at 11:16 pmlol ..the spam emails are so ridiculous now, I get them from myself.
Emily says
April 25, 2009 at 10:16 amHey – he’s a 2-timer, because I get those on my blog too! I feel so betrayed…
Surcie says
April 25, 2009 at 1:38 pmLordamercy, the translation is hilarious!
Lisa says
April 25, 2009 at 1:55 pmAll I get are the requests for help transferring money from Nigeria. Apparently what spam and I have is strictly platonic. Oh, Spam! The cute ones are always taken, aren’t they??
Karen MEG says
April 25, 2009 at 8:55 pmSam’s cousin stops by my place occasionally too. For some reason he thinks just because I’m Chinese I can actually read it.
You’re very smart with the Google translate, BTW. Brilliant, actually.
magpie says
April 26, 2009 at 9:44 pmYou are funny. I’ve thought of doing that translate business too, but never actually got past the lazy to do it. And now that you did, I feel absolved.
Wacky Mommy says
April 27, 2009 at 2:40 amWait, I thought he was just MINE.
auntie says
April 29, 2009 at 7:46 amSpam sent me an email through e-bay yesterday! And he’s so generous, that one…he offered to give me an extra 50 bucks ON TOP OF WHAT I’M ALREADY ASKING FOR THE ITEM if I’d just be so kind as to give him my bank account information and then please send him the item before his money order can clear because he apparently has a very important client that is in dire need of my item for sale. He’s also gonna cover the shipping charges, because he’s a giver like that.