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Bossy’s 2009 Accomplishments In Review

dooce-and-bossy

Bossy has a really funny post written for today. But there is a small problem because the post remains in her brain due to the fact Bossy is experiencing yet another technological gaff because she can’t seem to download this post directly from her cranium to her blog host. Curses WordPress! And in the meantime Bossy became distracted by

And speaking of the above things Bossy became distracted by this morning, it may interest you to know both of these items resulted in the same outcome: pass the tissues.

So instead of posting something funny, Bossy thought she would post a list of Bossy’s 2009 accomplishments, since many of them are spookily similar to those described by Dooce. Shall we?

  1. Lost six pounds.
  2. Gained two pounds. Then another two. And another two.
  3. Was on the Oprah show! But then grabbed that remote and switched to the Food Network instead.
  4. Landed on the New York Times Best Seller List. Oh, wait. That was a fly. Which Bossy crushed with a rolled up bit from the Style section.
  5. Made the Forbes list of the 30 Most Influential Women in Media! Into a hat! Thank you origami!
  6. Been featured as a $2000 answer on Jeopardy Once answered a $2000 question on Jeopardy! The category was cooking.
  7. Made Time’s list of the 25 Best Blogs of 2009. Into fire kindling! By scrunching it up into a ball. Brrr.
  8. Enrolled the firstborn into his sophomore year at Columbia. Because nothing says You Young Mom, You like a kid halfway through college.
  9. Launched a new explosively successful feature on this website! Then woke up. Silly dream!
  10. Had a baby. A Baby David. Who is a cat. A cat who does not belong to the Bossy family. But that doesn’t stop him from continually meowing at the front and back door. Yay us!

In the words of Bossy’s wee obsession Dooce, it’s been a hell of a year! In the case of Bossy, of course, emphasis on hell. Minus all the great parts, of course, of which there were many.

Happy New Year, council!

An oldie but a goodie:

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Seriously, that video kills me everytime I watch it! That is TOO funny. Well, here’s to 2010, bossy! Happy New Year!

    Reply

  2. For what my meager opinion is worth:
    1. I never heard of Dooce until Bossy mentioned her on her blog. Guess that gives away the fact that I don’t read magazines much anymore (keeps clutter down and money from leaving my wallet or watch Oprah – EVER.
    2. I tried to read Dooce because it was mentioned on Bossy’s blog and I don’t care for it. (Nothing personal Dooce chick)
    3. I look forward to Bossy every day and check back often.
    4. I love Bossy’s family (yummy hubby you got there Bossy) , friends (Hi Martha! Love Bossy’s latest pic of you – beautiful!) and neighbors.
    4. By the by, when is the Family Tree coming back? When last I read Dondi was super attached to Babe the horse in no small way, and I wanna see what happens next. No pressure. 🙂
    Happy 2010!

    Reply

  6. I would much rather read Bossy……..that Douche ….(it is Douche, isn’t it???????????????….is boring…..me no likie her……

    the end
    happy new year!!!

    #2

    Reply

  7. I only read Dooce when Bossy mentions her (and links her). That’s all I need as Dooce will tell me all about how successful she is every time.
    Thanks for helping make this a good 2009—and I am counting on you for an even better 2010!!!!

    gramps

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  8. I ate ham on Christmas and gained 98 pounds in water retention and I once told someone I read the NY Times just to impress them. I’m sure these achievements count for something.

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  9. Good on Dooce for having a great year (although, hubris much Dooce??). Life is a marathon, and she’s doing well at this mile marker; it has a way of balancing itself out. Eventually.

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  10. It’s all about the timing–Dooce had it, lucky for her.

    I really like Ms. Cranky Pants comment–it’s often too true. And knowing that this country likes nothing more than knocking someone off the pedestal they built for them, I sure hope Dooce is putting a whole lot of that money away for a rainy day.

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  13. I like Dooce’s blog and I think her honesty regarding her mental illness is a tremendous public service. I don’t believe she poos diamonds, though.

    On the other hand, I think Bossy does. Not really (I know she worries about her poo) but if I had the choice of who would ride shotgun with me on a road trip across the country, Bossy’d get that seat.

    And to 2009 … don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

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  15. Re: #8 ,,, As the Mom of a college son *not* at Columbia, I’d say a son at Columbia is *quite* the accomplishment!! (and please don’t make fun of my splats for emphasis…I’m feeling fragile today)

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  16. I love Dooce and Bossy for different reasons. Dooce speaks to my less-than-normal side that revels in less-than-normal humor, and Bossy speaks to the side that delights in silly, cleverness, and fun.

    I admire Dooce from afar. I don’t bother to comment on her blog since I would be just one voice in a gobillion. I feel this blog is much more… accessible. I feel like I can comment here and you might even read it.
    🙂
    p.s. Chuck & Coco are cool but I have a weakness for big freakin’ dogs and I LOVE Stella! Will she be putting out a calendar any time soon?

    Reply

  21. I read Dooce. She does make me laugh. Her daughter is also a good source of entertainment. But she is no Bossy. Dooce may have a new community section (which the Women’s Colony did first BTW) but Bossy seems way more interested in actually knowing her community members. Her fellow bloggers. She is real, and if I aspire to be either of them, I aspire to be Bossy.

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  22. You know what? #2 above — Denise — said every single thing about Dooce and this post that I was going to say and she said it better. (I wouldn’t have even thought right now of adding the comment about the Fambly Photos, but I’d love to see it back too!)

    Cheers. Happy New Year to Bossy, Bossy’s mother, and everybody else in Bossy’s blog.

    Reply

  26. Incidentally, Bossy is a big fan of Dooce, and when one blogger succeeds it’s like we all succeed. Some of us just succeed a little more in a flat line. Best wishes to Dooce.

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  27. I used to read Dooce, but a year or so ago her writing style (and frequency!) changed dramatically, and not for the better from where I sit. I un-bookmarked Dooce and don’t bother anymore. But look! I still read YOU! Every single day.

    And besides, I bet Dooce doesn’t know Ree, and really, if you’re going to measure yourself against another female blogger, go straight for the top. You and PW are the best!

    Reply

  29. Dear Bossy,
    Please don’t be so bitter. It’s not becoming. Although it does seem to be garnering you lots of positive comments here. Which you at least get. Comments, I mean. Unlike my wee tiny bloggette.
    xoxR
    PS> What Denise said. Except the 95 pounds. For me: at least 10.

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  30. Apparently I checked in under a pseudonym above because it wasn’t Denise and 95 pounds at all. Please pardon me, Denise!

    Bossy, you’re fine. Enjoy tonight.

    Reply

  31. OperaGal likes XTC and BOSSY, you just seem WAY more genuine. Hello – you TOOK a road trip to meet all of us. Dooce would never do that, because the name-dropping opportunities wouldn’t present themselves frequently enough to suit her.

    Hugs from OG, who is not to be confused with OperaMan

    Reply

  32. I found you through Dooce’s site – I even posted a link to your blog in one of the threads in her community as one of my favorite blogs. I love reading both of you and check both of your sites regularly for updates. Thanks for being consistently hilarious and a welcome break for me from the seemingly endless drama that has been swirling around me all year.

    Happy new year Bossy and Bossy’s beautiful family!

    Reply

  33. You know…
    I just read that list of old whatever-her-name-is right before I stopped by here to see what was up. And honestly? What the hell? Who tells everyone that they now weight five pounds less than they did before they had their second baby? That’s just rude.

    And then I read the rest of the list and then I stuck my head in the effing oven because who the hell can top that? Oprah? Dr. Phil? Ok, maybe not Dr. Phil because he’s got crazy eyes, but SERIOUSLY. Head. In. Oven.

    And after I’d eaten the half baked cookies in there, I went to take a nap.

    Reply

  34. That video is awesome. The picture at the top of the post scared the s**t out of me.

    I saw that episode of Jeopardy. I was yelling at my TV “Dooced! You’ve been Dooced!” And the contestants were all like…duh, what? And I don’t even read her stupid blog. I love you Bossy.

    Happy New Year!

    Reply

  36. I agree with Liz… I quite like dooce, but I feel much closer to Bossy. Bossy makes me laugh easily. dooce is a bit more acerbic (sp?). I applauded her list. I giggled like crazy at yours.

    Both funny. But I admit I visit Bossy a whole lot more… you wait Bossy. She’ll be begging for your autograph one day…
    🙂
    BB

    Reply

  38. Bossy, what I love best about you is that though you are tall and skinny and gorgeous and hilarious and uber-cool and brilliant and the most hilarious blogger *ever* (though I must also tip my hat to Mimi Smartypants), you are clearly a mensch and misguidedly think you are just like the rest of us. Which is gold, baby, pure gold. Plus, who can do computer art and Barbie installation pieces like you?

    Reply

  39. I’m with Wellreadhostess – I read Dooce’s list and just thought “Bighead”. She’s sometimes worth reading, but mostly not – whereas Bossy, you’re ALWAYS top value! Funny and varied and full of energy, and I covet your beautiful son. (Not in a creepy way, it’s just that I’ve only got daughters.) I read your posts before I even get out of bed in the morning!

    Reply

  41. Bossy seems a bit dismayed that she provoked a Dooce/Bossy poll among her readers, but what does she expect when she posts such a spot-on and hilarious Dooce parody!?

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  42. Dooce? meh. Now, Bossy? SHE’S funny! p.s. have loved your Snowman video since I first saw it AND the picture of Stella balancing the pill case on her head – priceless hilarity!

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  43. Bossy, Dooce ain’t got nothing on you! Love your stuff. As one who would love to blog but feels she’s come to it too late, I admire your talent and creativity. Oh yeah, and most importantly, I admire your ability to make me LAUGH, because that is what keeps me going. Happy New Year to you and yours, Bossy!

    Reply

  45. Oh Bossy, we (or I) have all had those days. But don’t you remember what mom told us? There will always be someone more popular, richer, taller, younger, etc. etc. But, I love YOU. So said mom.

    But I really do love you Bossy, and you make me laugh more consistently than Heather, every day. Now dry your eyes and go get some fresh air. Happy 2010!

    Reply

  46. ok, 2009 was Dooce’s year. Who’s gonna take 2010?! As a very wise band said, “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow.”

    Reply

  49. Bossy is the first of only 4 bloogers that I read every day. Bossy is most special. Bossy has many talents and has a very talented and interesting family. And the pride in her family, friends and community that she shares with her council is what sets her apart from the others. And I’m all about silly, it’s what gets me through tough days. Keep it up, Bossy!

    Reply

  50. Per usual, friggin’ hilarious. Please have another such year in 2010, and please keep reporting on it with the same meticulous care. Signed, A Fan.

    Reply

  53. i came to blogging late but whatever; i don’t care. i also came to Bossy late and one night sat up reading Bossy’s archives and laughing out loud, alone in my dark living room in the middle of night. Laughing, gasping, like I haven’t since, well, 2005 when I took a trip to China with a girlfriend and spent half the time chortling like teenagers. Bossy’s funny. If I could write like Bossy, I’d be happy. Bossy’s plenty successful and from the comments left thus far it appears that Bossy has actual rapport with her readers, er, council. I think Bossy’s posts are clever and unique while mine are long and rambling and boring (so say my kids). Well, I’m still finding my voice. We all can’t be Bossy. Heck, I’d be thrilled to be hired to write for our town’s empty blog! Okay, so Bossy, you’re one of my top favorites…there’s no comparison between you and the tall girl with the short haircut who yes, has created an empire, and yes, I think your “obsession” with her is quite hilarious and content worthy, but Bossy: you’re ‘my’ celebrity blogger too. I laugh harder with you than any other blogger – –> girl, you talented.

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  54. I thought Bossy’s obsession was John Cusack. And the Saturn guy. And her NY Italian hair boyfriend. And QVC. And lemons. And Ikea’s white candles. And one studio apartment in NYC. And olives.

    Lawdie. Looks like I’m stalking Bossy, but I’m just obsessed.

    Reply

  55. I love that video you made a couple of years ago….it cracks me up everytime.

    I think we are all blogging away and I’m not her or you or PW or much of anyone, but I am me and I write like me and gain/lose weight etc. Just wait until you hit my age with the whole weight thing. I weighed less after my 3rd child than I did before I got pregnant with her…so what. I weigh more now.

    I enjoy your blog a lot and read it lots and lots. You have even come by my blog in the past..not so much anymore, but it is ok. Having a son in college…Columbia no less, is a very big deal, not to mention how freakin’ expensive it is to have a kid in any college anymore. Cripes! I liked to have fainted when a co worker was talking about it. Even state schools are totally ridiculous in Texas. It is a miracle any kid gets an education.

    I’m getting off my little soap box now and going to watch som tv or something.

    Happy New Year, Bossy. Please keep on posting good stuff. I love reading it and then I feel inadequate, but what tha hell.

    Reply

  58. thanks for coming but you see what I mean, don’t you? what could be more boring than discussing gloomy weather on new year’s eve and photos not taken? my kids won’t even read my blog but i force them to anyway. they are younger than Bossy’s, and have no choice (except to affect a mumbling monotone in protest).

    here’s to a funnier 2010 for me, and i do i thank Bossy for the drive by anyway 🙂

    Reply

  59. I like you Bossy, and I’m not part of your “close council” AND I’m a Republican- GASP ! I read Bossy everyday- because your real and believable… I unbookmarked Dooce when her ego got bigger than the internet, which was about a year ago. Yes, she is “accomplished” but at what cost….There needs to be some boundaries, her kids are going to hate her someday….Just my 2 cents.

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  61. At first, Dooce’s list made me feel like a la-hoo-zuh-her. But then I realized she’s got nowhere to go but down, whereas a lot of my greatest moments lie ahead. Ta da! I win! And I like your blog better, so there.
    XOXO,
    The former blogger still known as Surcie

    Reply

  62. I think that Bossy and Dooce are both really funny and creative writers; but I find Bossy’s edge over HA in that she’s also really creative and talented with more than just words. More of a multi-media artist than just writer. 2010 is definitely Bossy’s year.

    Very funny list.

    Reply

  63. Oprah!? Please! Lightweights! I was on America’s Most Wanted, but it’s not something I brag about on my blog.

    Bossy, look at it this way: if you and Dooce both published posts about trying to decide whether to invade Iraq, you’d leave yours open for comments.

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  68. I agree with everyone else on this list. Especially commenter number one – I had never even heard of Dooce until I saw your HILARIOUS video. Which I still love. Like so so much. And you’re WAY cuter than that cocky Hoo. FOR REALS.

    Reply

  69. I recently discovered your blog and absolutely love it! Being known for being a bit bossy and sassy myself, I think your musings are funny and we seem to speak the same language with the exception of loving Dooce. I checked it out after reading your post and I guess I missed something not having been a long-standing fan like yourself. What I see in looking at her blog is, frankly, plastic. Not only that, but your blog and a couple of others I read (like Vanilla Garlic) are inspiring to me in that they give me hope that someday I will also be able to put the corporate grind behind me and do something creative and still be able to pay the mortgage. Looking at Dooce’s blog – it’s nothing but corporate grind all over again – getting all those paid advertisers – ack! Just imagine the time and headaches associated with all that. You need to pay homage to yourself – fresh, sassy, hilarious and most importantly REAL. Kudos to you Bossy!

    Reply

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