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Bossy’s State Of The Union

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The other night Bossy was in a bar, which should surprise her council not at all, except to say she missed Barack O’Boyfriend’s first State of the Union address.

Lucky for Bossy her cable service provider invented a little thing called DVR, and here’s how it works: there’s this button and, yeah.

So Bossy was able to watch the State of the Union one day after it aired, and Bossy offers this delayed review: Barack O’Boyfriend you have reinvigorated Bossy’s interest in politics through your calm bipartisan argument and compassionate eloquence and refined stature.

It also doesn’t hurt that you always look as though you just finished eating a grape popsicle.

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Bossy could go on about Barack O’Boyfriend’s smartness, and how you could hear a pin drop for the last five minutes of his address, and how the citizenry owes it to the future of this county to recommit to involvement on a local and international level, but instead Bossy wants to talk about this:

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When Bossy was a toddler she had a 40-year-old boyfriend who taught her the art of exaggeration when blogging. And when this 30-year-old boyfriend was done with that task, he taught young Bossy that one must always train their eye on Larry when watching The Three Stooges. This
29-year-old boyfriend pointed out that although the other two Stooges were often given more to do in a scene, it was Larry who was worth watching because he was completely out of his mind.

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In keeping with this theory, Bossy gives you her:

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She’s Nancy Pelosi, and she’s Speaker of the House of Representatives. She has the distinction of being the first woman to serve as Speaker of the House. She is also the first Italian-American to serve as Speaker, and the first Californian — and by coincidence the first crazy Italian-American California woman.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. I mourn the fact that Bossy is not a contender for best writing of a weblog or best humor weblog in that Bloggie contest. Where’s the justice?

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  3. Loved your post! you and the 2 stooges and Nancy P. got me laughing at this unglodly morning hour! YOU ROCK!
    Your boyfriend did a great job. Let us hope it rallied the public!
    cece

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  5. Between Nancy and Joe Biden making faces, and the entire supreme court scowling and all the republicans not clapping and looking all “says YOU” I almost missed a good part of what was actually SAID. Then the president threatened to put Congress in a time out if they didn’t learn to play well together and get him a frick frackin’ health care bill he could live with and I was back on track. All in all a very entertaining speech!

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  8. The last address to congress, Nancy was sucking on Tic Tacs or Certs or something… it was so obvious. This time, someone must have tipped her off because I was watchin’ for it… but didn’t see it.

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  9. I was so distracted by the faces that crazy lady was making during the speech. Kept waiting for a mint to come popping out of her mouth. Or maybe the numbness from her botox was starting to wear off in a very peculiar way.

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  11. My husband said we should not have to look at the 2 of them while listening to Mr.President – I reminded him that they were there for entertainment purposes!

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  12. Okay, now you went and did it and completely offended me Miss. Bossy. I have a crush on Nancy Pelosi, really bad. I want to make her do things. Did I ever happen to mention that I and Larry are related?

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  15. Did you catch it when Nancy picked her teeth? Gah! I don’t like having to look at them behind the President. Very distracting. And the Supreme Court looked like they were props. Stiff as a board, except for Alito.

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  16. I didn’t notice her face at all – I was riveted by those pretty, pretty pearls! Bet she could pawn them to balance California’s budget…

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  20. Oh! Ohohohohoh! I watched this.

    I used the DVR’s rewind feature repeatedly to see the military so NOT clap when Obama mentioned gays being able to serve openly in the military.

    We also rewinded the part where Biden almost claps too soon because my daughter thinks that Biden has spice-melange eyes and I think she has a grandpa complex.

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  23. OK, maybe it’s just me; but does anyone else think that at the State of the Union address, VP Joe Biden looked an AWFUL LOT like Ventriliquist Jeff Dunham’s cranky-old-man character, “Walter”? Just sayin’….

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  24. It’s difficult for me not to be oh so serious talking about President Obamas magnificent speech.
    IF ONLY WE COULD ALL STOP BEING SO CYNICAL…

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  25. I want to hang out with the Bidens. Joe strikes me as a guy who’d sing and cry at Irish wakes and Jill would just be adorable. I’d go to the Obama’s for wine and good debates. We could discuss international affairs and kids’ homework.
    Pelosi always looks so coiffed. I admire that but she lacks Hillary’s steel balls. I think I’d skip her salads and catered parties.
    I thought Obama was more like the Obama I voted for. I’d like to see more of the asskicking

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  26. Something about BO that totally turns me off. I can’t even look at him because my intuition tells me that there is something terribly bad around him.

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  29. Oh dear Bossy, you slay me. Larry & The 3 Stooges. Can’t.Stop.Giggling.

    Sidebar: I was at Columbia U on Tuesday afternoon. I stood outside the Library & Lerner Hall & waved across the entire campus to Bossy’s Son, but wasn’t sure if he saw me. (ew, that sounded totally creepy & stalkerish but I swear it isn’t. It was more like, wow, I ‘know’ someone famous who goes here)

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  32. With that wacky tongue thing going on, Nancy Pelosi reminds me of a bad Cher impersonator with shorter hair and pearls. Minus the mesh bodysuit.

    “If I could turn back tiiii-ime…”

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  33. Haha, good speech but I didn’t even notice Nancy Pelosi! My dad always answers the question “What’s your biggest fear?” with “Nancy Pelosi.” Now I’m gaining some insight as to why!

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  34. 1) I thought that was Andrea Martin behind Lou Brock Obama

    2) Larry was THE funniest Stooge, no comparison

    3) I wish our current Supreme Court Chief Justice was as qualified as Judgy Wudgy

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  36. I want to hang out with Bossy’s mom. Maybe she could beat some of my cynicism out of me.

    I’m so tired of politics. I’m so tired of trying to convince people that are wrong that they are wrong, because they just .don’t. get. it. I’m tired of people complaining that the president hasn’t fixed everything in one year, when he was left a disatrous mess by the previous administration of EIGHT YEARS. I’m sick of listening to right-wing lunatics. I’m tired of their whole attitude of “I’ve got mine, and screw everyone else.” I’m tired of people who don’t think that everyone deserves healthcare. I’m tired of people who think that helping others is a BAD thing. The whole thing just exhausts me. Bossy’s mom, help?

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  37. I always thought Curly was the funniest of the Three Stooges.

    We watched the speech night before last and I thought it a good speech, but it lacked something and maybe it was that my attention was taken away wondering what Pelosi or Biden were going to do next. I was also taken aback by the hostile stance the Supreme Court took at one point. I thought Ruth Bader Ginsberg was going to come out of her seat and pop him a good one upside his head, but she didn’t, and the speech went on. I guess I was sort of thinking about how the supreme court justices had ruled to let corporations can spend unlimited fundsi n our elections. That set me back on my heels. I really didn’t have time to ponder Pelosi’s pearls. However, they all got their aerobic excercises in…except those who didn’t stand to applaud after each sentence.

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  38. Pelosi never stopped blinking the entire time & Biden must have been having an allergic reaction. During the SOTU they earned the nicknames Itchy and Blinky.

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  40. Oh, Ugh. The first time BO gave a speech like that NP kept looking at him like “My little boy! He makes me so proud!” and then kept sucking her teeth like she had some bits of dry pork chop stuck back there.

    Bleah. It really takes away from the seriousness of the whole thing.

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  41. I’m with you on the purple popsicle. You just say it funnier than me, Bossy! I always say. “His lips are purple.” See what I mean?
    A friend of mine said it looked like someone fed Pelosi a peanut butter sandwich a couple of minutes before the cameras rolled.

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  44. Dang! I couldn’t even watch the President because I was so busy watching the goofy twosome behind him. I finally had to go in the other room and just listen. They were driving me crazy.

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  45. I am so proud to know Bossy, albeit only through her blog where fabuloshiously she connects the 3 stooges and the leaders of our country in a semi-good way.

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  46. You had me at grape popsicle. Thank you for that big fat laugh.

    That speech left me thinking, “THAT is why I voted for the man.” And then I called my dad who tentatively agreed with me, mostly. And then he handed the phone to my mom who told me why I am wrong. And that right there is why I hate politics: just when you find someone you think you can believe in, along comes someone you otherwise adore who tells you why you’re a lunatic.

    HA HA HA — one more big fat grape popsicle laugh. Thank you.

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  47. CRAZAZY LADY Nancy does odd things with her mouth. I think she is addicted to Altoids. I also think she would be good at Pictionary. And I’m certain she makes a mean paella. As you can see I have many thoughts on The Pelosi.

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  50. That grape popsicle must have an ingredient label that includes:

    Serving Size: 1 man
    Servings Per Container: 1
    Servings Expected Per Container: 4,587
    Reminder of How Many Servings Per Container When Serving Size Inherited a Disaster: 1 man
    % daily value of ability to lead: 400%
    % chances that I’ll marry him: 7,460%

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  51. HA! You nailed it Bossy, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, it was crazy.
    Definitely Whopner, I mean the Larry of the show. Lisa #26, I felt the same way about old watermelon seed-eyed spawn of Hitler, ‘W’, now talk about a crazy stooge!

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  54. I think the only thing Madame Speaker was missing was pom poms. I loved how she jumped up even before the sentence was done. I’ve been looking for a still shot of Joe Biden rolling his eyes at her…there just has to be one somewhere. 🙂

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  57. You know what it is with that crazy lady…it is her mouth. If you look her mouth takes up her whole face. She just has a really big mouth and big teeth and when she smiles or moves it in any way it looks ridiculous altogether.

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  60. I have a much more positive outlook on the SOTU address after reading your blog, Bossy. Grape popsicle and Stooges!!! Finally, something I can believe in!!!!

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  63. I, too, could not stop focusing on Nancy Pelosi. I wanted to shove a glass of water through my TV screen and tell her to take a swig or two and stop the oral gymnastics.

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  64. Pelosi is a homo sapiens sapiens sapiens: her fabulously elastic face and novel use of facial musculature will certainly be a model for the android industry to come.

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