Bossy’s memory has always been a thing of questionable integrity. In her younger days, Bossy was excellent at last minute memorization she could then rip from her rolodex, leaving room for the things that truly mattered.
As an adult Bossy’s memory grows sketchier. Bossy has tried to engage in activities to exercise her brain, for instance learning Italian and Spanish and German to a conversational level. But then the languages scrambled together into one incoherent omelet.
But lately Bossy’s memory has cascaded downhill to a more troubling degree.
- Friends of Bossy’s daughter. For instance their names and who they are. Because apparently she’s not the one with the beach house, and that’s not the one who lives near the art center, and she was the roommate in camp oh mom!
- People who introduce themselves to Bossy and later ask Remember me? People Bossy spends entire evenings with laughing and carrying on. People Bossy hangs out with continually at conferences over three-day weekends. People.
- Her dreams. And Bossy loves her dreams. They’re very realistic and steeped in the kind of subconscious imagery directly related to things in Bossy’s life that need fixing.
- Anything Bossy’s Unhusband says about his schedule. Even if he didn’t really tell Bossy but said he did. Hi Bossy’s Unhusband!
- Band names. Maybe it’s because they used to be so simple, like The Police. But nowadays it’s Cake and Air and Leonard Cohen – just who can remember these nonsensical words?
- Saying goodbye. Like, ever. Often Bossy is cleaning up the kitchen after one of her get-togethers and suddenly she’ll think, Did I even say goodbye to Bobo? When did Martha leave? Who was the last one here and did they slip out without warning? It’s probably no big deal to forget goodbyes, Bossy supposes, considering they took place full minutes prior to Bossy’s memory lapse.
- The name of any book, the name of any movie, the name of any American Idol contestant, the name of any wine Bossy enjoyed, the name of any wine Bossy didn’t enjoy, names.
- The word integral to the conclusion of Bossy’s friend Doug’s documentary regarding healthy and unhealthy love and Bossy swore she’d never forget it.
- Attachment! That’s it! There’s love and then there’s attachment. Attachment is no good. Love is. Ah.
- The makeshift peanut dipping sauce Bossy made that one time that was so much better than all the other times.
And finally the coup de grâce of all memory loss stories: Last weekend Bossy and her daughter were in a theater watching Bridesmaids. Approximately thirty minutes from completion there’s a scene with the lead actress in a bed, and she has the covers drawn up to her eyes, and suddenly Bossy was all Who is this again I’ve been watching for over an hour and a half? Julia Roberts? No. That little Reese Witherspoon? No.
It was scary council, not to remember the star of a movie you’re right then in the middle of seeing.
Bossy can sum up her memory loss in this way: Forgetting more things Bossy wanted to tell you she forgets.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about something you forget that seems inconceivable?
And be sure to check back later today for the worst memories on the web.
Kizz says
June 14, 2011 at 10:35 amHad a good one. Can’t remember it now, though. Rats!
Not June Cleaver says
June 14, 2011 at 10:38 amMy memory loss is directly proportional to my wine consumption.
lee says
June 14, 2011 at 10:40 amIf you can remember, the next time you go to the doctors have them check your hormone levels. Uh hum, you might be getting to that peri-age and oh my gah that changes so many things.
Shell says
June 14, 2011 at 10:44 amWalking downstairs to get a needed item…. Then drawing a blank about what it was I needed, merely seconds later.
Seriously….. Seconds later
Bonnie says
June 14, 2011 at 10:45 amOH MY GOD I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Laura says
June 14, 2011 at 10:46 amHusband’s childhood stories, retold ceaselessly, each time new to me.
Heide says
June 14, 2011 at 10:46 amI can’t remember details, but I forget everything.
Lori says
June 14, 2011 at 10:56 amThis database developer says, “Memory is not a multi-value field.”
BOSSY says
June 14, 2011 at 10:57 amPlots of movies seen and Book read. Cheapest date ever.
CS says
June 14, 2011 at 11:02 amMy migraine aphasia: what is THAT on my plate??? (Artichoke!)
Sheryl W says
June 14, 2011 at 11:08 amsat at computer to look something up-look what up ???
Mary K says
June 14, 2011 at 11:12 amDitto all the above… and probably all that will follow!
Mrs. G. says
June 14, 2011 at 11:13 amEvery once in a while, I forget my phone number. I have to push buttons in the air repeatedly to retrieve it. Then I go take the “do I have alzheimer’s” test.
Kris says
June 14, 2011 at 11:18 amGot home. Realized I forgot to get son from daycare.
Suzanne says
June 14, 2011 at 11:24 amThat bad meno… word. AWFUL. Can’t REmember anything at all!
Suzanne says
June 14, 2011 at 11:25 amBut oh, I love Thirtysomething!
Frimmy says
June 14, 2011 at 11:31 amExactly what Mary K, poster number 12, said times ten.
Little Miss Sunshine State says
June 14, 2011 at 11:33 amRemember how pregnancy hormones turn brains to mush? Menopause. Same.
Scottsdale Girl says
June 14, 2011 at 11:39 amCan I have menopause at 43 yrs old? Can I? because I can’t remember anything, ever. My desk is a veritable SEA of post it notes that say things like Mtg @ 2p because you know my outlook calendar isn’t enough of a reminder. Gah.
Kait says
June 14, 2011 at 11:40 amI am sure I forgot something but I don’t remember.
Catherine McP says
June 14, 2011 at 11:48 amRemember in detail my childhood, cant remember last nights dinner.
Lizzy says
June 14, 2011 at 11:51 amNo memory means also forgetting the bad stuff. Cheap therapy.
Diahn Ott says
June 14, 2011 at 11:54 amI can hardly remember my children’s names. Is that wrong?
Bev says
June 14, 2011 at 11:59 amThree each: books, movies, CDs = lifetime supply of new entertainment!
(…so not funny!)
ally bean says
June 14, 2011 at 12:16 pmForgot the time in the next state over. Missed flight.
[ditto Not June Cleaver]
Mimi says
June 14, 2011 at 12:20 pmWhat little memory I had, menopause killed it quick. (9 words? Wasn’t it supposed to be 10?)
Barb says
June 14, 2011 at 12:31 pmWhat year people died. Important people, like your mom ….sorry mom
BossysMom says
June 14, 2011 at 12:39 pmI seemed to have forgotten just why we were divorced.
Dee says
June 14, 2011 at 12:39 pmbaby milestones are forgotten now – thought i would always remember
Mandy says
June 14, 2011 at 12:47 pmSometimes people’s name’s, in the time between the moment they told me and the end of the conversation when I’m supposed to be able to say “Person’s-name, it was great to meet you!” Sometimes what I was getting at when I first opened my mouth. Sometimes both, which will occasionally make meeting me like an encounter with Rainman. Most times, whatever I started out to do, i.e. going into the kitchen for water almost always results in returning to the bedroom with ice-cream and so-forth and such as. Oh. Whoops. I forgot this was a ten-word challenge. (See?) Okay. Ten words….”I forget not to be distracted where distraction causes…SQURREL!”
Owengirl79 says
June 14, 2011 at 12:50 pmSometimes I call husband of 19 years unhusband’s name….horrors!
BOSSY says
June 14, 2011 at 12:57 pmBossy forgets people died. Mourns them all over again, routinely.
Teeny Tina says
June 14, 2011 at 1:01 pmI forget how old I am, then do the math.
Deb says
June 14, 2011 at 1:41 pmMother’s phone number, which I’ve been dialing for 1000 years.
jp says
June 14, 2011 at 2:01 pmForget what 3:59am means…………Judy
you are late for wk!
Craftwhack says
June 14, 2011 at 2:14 pmEverybody’s name, or if I remember it, assume it must be the wrong name. (I went over by 4 words. gulp)
monstergirlee says
June 14, 2011 at 2:19 pmWhen I call syrup “pancake juice” you it’s completely gone.
Elise says
June 14, 2011 at 2:33 pmI lose my words: checkbooks become umbrellas, navy becomes yellow…
Maura says
June 14, 2011 at 2:40 pmI always forget my brother’s girlfriend’s name — after TEN YEARS.
Deb in Winfield, Ks says
June 14, 2011 at 2:41 pmOccassionally, I wake not remembering the season of the year.
Thomas says
June 14, 2011 at 2:45 pmTo iron my wife’s dress this morning, she walked out half naked. Who’s worse?
AngstyJen says
June 14, 2011 at 2:48 pmNames of any fictional or reality show characters…”it’s that show with the blonde who wears questionable shoes and the two dark-haired guys who eat too many tacos?”
Elissa Lerma says
June 14, 2011 at 2:56 pmName of my child I am trying to yell at.
classicsgirl says
June 14, 2011 at 2:57 pmMy daughter’s birthdate. While speaking to doctor’s receptionist. Bad mother.
Dobes says
June 14, 2011 at 3:15 pmCan’t remember my children’s ages, refuse to remember my own.
Dobes says
June 14, 2011 at 3:17 pm#42, I feel your pain. Can you guess which show “Funny Smart Boys” is?
Mandy says
June 14, 2011 at 3:20 pm@#46 – Big Bang Theory?
Jami says
June 14, 2011 at 4:00 pmI can remember everything. Just not when I need to.
Caroline says
June 14, 2011 at 4:01 pmHere are seven words that serve me well…
The only thing I retain is water.
Gretchen says
June 14, 2011 at 5:07 pmI remember everything. My hubs? Forgets everything. It isn’t menopause.
Gretchen says
June 14, 2011 at 5:09 pmI shouldn’t have named three kids with the same initial.
BOSSY says
June 14, 2011 at 5:12 pmYes #33. Never know ages. Not own, not parents, not kids.
corrie says
June 14, 2011 at 5:21 pmI once tried to introduce my BEST and most LONGTIME friend and I said, “This is my best friend….” and I drew a blank. She looked at me with raised eyebrows and said her name verrrrry slowly with a question mark after it as if to ask me, now do you remember?
P.S. My husband knows that all he has to do is confidently state he has ALREADY told me something, and (both of us) knowing my memory knows that I really can’t claim otherwise. He does have the upper hand on this …
maria rice says
June 14, 2011 at 6:42 pmyup…. right there with ya!!?!
Amy says
June 14, 2011 at 7:51 pmWhat a relief! Wait..what were we talking about again?
Cupcake Murphy says
June 14, 2011 at 9:01 pmCan NEH-VER remember which condiments go in fridge; which don’t.
Cupcake Murphy says
June 14, 2011 at 9:05 pmIs Peter O’Toole dead? and what about Richard Harris? Charo?
Cincy says
June 14, 2011 at 10:08 pmYes to so many of the above. I feel much, much better. And is no one going to say, Kristen Wiig?
rory says
June 14, 2011 at 10:29 pmThat’s the fun thing about Alzheimers- you’re always meeting new people.
Carol M says
June 15, 2011 at 8:00 amFor hours, couldn’t remember how many days in a year. (thought I was having a stroke –ha! it’s peri-menopause)
NellyFrittata says
June 15, 2011 at 9:45 amDid I turn off the stove/coffee pot/flat iron?
mitzie says
June 15, 2011 at 10:00 amBossys mom, that is the saddest thing I have ever read.
dexter says
June 15, 2011 at 11:01 amyes you said good bye. Did I thank you for having us????
‘Bobo”
safetydog says
June 15, 2011 at 11:17 amRepeatedly asked household where my glasses were – while holding glasses.
Charlie says
June 15, 2011 at 11:17 amI’ve begun forgetting to turn off the van. Not good.
Charlie says
June 15, 2011 at 11:18 amPS – Bossy said Rolodex, who remembers what that is?
Gramps says
June 15, 2011 at 12:14 pmI will second Mandy
“SQUIRREL”
KathyB says
June 15, 2011 at 12:27 pmPerfected forgetting as a teenager. Now, could use remembering instead.
janet says
June 15, 2011 at 1:45 pmWell documented pre-menopausal. No worries – it will pass. Then: senility.
Hula Girl at Heart says
June 15, 2011 at 2:02 pmForgot to pick up my child twice in one day.
foolery says
June 15, 2011 at 2:39 pmThis thing, right here in my . . . um, hand? This . . . thing.
Craftwhack says
June 15, 2011 at 3:09 pmWait- #57. Is Charo dead? nooooooooo
Meg at the Members Lounge says
June 15, 2011 at 3:40 pmWhere the hell am I driving to?
chris in RI says
June 15, 2011 at 5:39 pmI’m sorry, what was the question?
jlhpisces says
June 15, 2011 at 6:02 pmYesterday, I forgot whether my son is 14 or 15.
Deborah says
June 16, 2011 at 8:33 amArrive home, get shopping out of car and lock.
Teenager says, “Ummmm Mum….the baby?”
Yes that’s right we have one of those.
16 years ago but I’ll never forget it.
T-Mom says
June 16, 2011 at 12:33 pmLooking forward to Alzeimer’s…kids ask for $$… “who’re you?”
KathyB says
June 16, 2011 at 1:51 pmHey, Cupcake Murphy. Peter O’Toole and Charo are alive. Richard Harris, unfortunately, is not.
Oh, and I visited your blog today for the first but not the last time.
pkzcass says
June 16, 2011 at 3:19 pmLove #49. Will forget it in 5 minutes.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
June 16, 2011 at 5:43 pm“My memory is terrible, but I think…” begins every sentence.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
June 16, 2011 at 5:47 pmForgetfulness makes me babble out loud, especially in the store.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
June 16, 2011 at 5:47 pmThe babbling includes, “What did I come in here for?”
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
June 16, 2011 at 5:50 pmI blame hormones, stress, men, children. What was the question?
MIME says
June 16, 2011 at 9:54 pmKristen Wiig?????????
Janet says
June 17, 2011 at 12:08 amBooks I have just read; movies I have just seen.
Nancy in AZ says
June 18, 2011 at 10:54 amMemory used to be amazing, but then there was menopause.
Philip says
June 18, 2011 at 11:51 amWe all have the same issues, i seems. Good thing we make up for the memory loss with insight, wisdom, and imagination. And how convenient that it helps us live in the moment, right? PS Pushy, you’re my favorite!
Jamie says
June 20, 2011 at 1:25 pmGood Lord! Where the hell are my glasses this time?!?
Laurellee says
June 20, 2011 at 4:36 pmOh man, bossy and the commenters – best on the web.
Kirsten says
June 23, 2011 at 11:17 pmI forgot the greatest Bruce Willis movie ever, Die Hard.