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Get A Virtual Haircut With Bossy.

platform

178 days. Without. A haircut. So Bossy scheduled an appointment in New York City because Bossy has court documentation that proves no one within 112 miles of these can cut Bossy’s hair without making her cry like a newborn.

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And here’s why: Bossy has frizzy hair. And not just frizzy but frizzizzley. Which is why Bossy was so happy three years ago when she met a hairdresser named Antonio because he is from Italy and because when you’re in his chair he says stuff like, “Jew moss learn to embraze jour eenair curlz.” Also? He invented a hair product line called Curlfriends. And he works 113 miles away from this.

So Bossy woke up super early in order to catch the first train in her Six Train Day:

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Bossy knows that it takes Amtrak the cheap transit trains three and a half hours to reach a city two hours away, which is why Bossy was so smart to buy herself juicy magazines to read the day before!

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Before Bossy knew it she was changing trains again:

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And again:

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This was the luckiest train of all because the Devil Incarnate a really nice woman situated herself directly in front of Bossy and proceeded to stand and shout orders across the train to her friends. For an hour.

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Which was actually preferable to what happened next: The woman got on her cell phone. All Bossy can say is, “Wow” — because Bossy never realized that Sub Zero refrigerators come with integrated over-under invisible fingerprint cabinet doors.

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Bossy did her best to ignore the lady and instead focus on the breathtaking scenery:

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And that’s not the only thing Bossy saw. She also saw this:

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But soon the train pulled into Penn Station and Bossy walked three hundred blocks to her hair appointment. Once in the salon Bossy settled in the back where her favorite colorist Fran prepared Bossy’s oxidated phenylenediamine sun-kissed highlights and enthusiastically agreed to a “before” photo shoot:

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And then Bossy was left alone to mull her innermost thoughts.

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And also to steal a photo of Antonio’s workstation:

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After approximately six hours Bossy’s hair was rinsed and she was ready for her haircut — which is the moment Bossy’s readers reader has been waiting for:

Friends Friend: may Bossy introduce to you… Antonio:

antonio

Two hours later Bossy’s cut was complete and she was back in the train station — and lucky thing she remembered to walk over to the Penn Station magazine stand before her long journey home:

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By the way: How did Bossy’s hair turn out? Kind of blurry:

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Bossy’s hair salon looks JUST like the one Bossy’s friend Amy goes to in Manayunk… and it only takes Bossy’s friend Amy 15 minutes to get there.

  3. You never cease to crack my shiznit up on the daily!

    And, from what I can see of the finished product, it lQQks great! The most important thing is — do YOU like it?

  4. Actually Les – Bossy thinks it’s too short, too curly, too blonde, too long, too straight, and a tad too dark. Other than that she’s very happy, especially since it only cost the equivalent of a drop-top Bentley.

  6. Bossy – I know what you mean! My stylist was p’d at me ’cause I missed my appt. with her last week. Well, ‘scuse me — you didn’t call and remind me I had an appt. with you..>REMEMBER? Anyway, my hubby said “well, she’s just mad ’cause she was planning on using what you spend on your hair to make her car payment this month!”

  9. absolutely LOVE the corner of you hair. will you post the rest of your head sometime soon?

    guessing it looks much, much better than the train scenery.

  10. I wish I could get my hair cut in NYC! I’m jealous.

    I bet Kevin C. has a cuter butt than that. Jus sayin.

    I also like the corner of your blurry frizzizzley hair! Doesn’t look so frizzezzley hair! Embrace your inner frizzizzle BOSSY!

  12. Not that I need to inform you of this, but your storytelling is straight-up whack. Really awesome.

    You know, I can’t read comics in the newspaper. I just … can’t. I become bored and look away. This though, your blog, I feel sort of like I’ve found a comic that holds my interest.

    Also? I suck at people skills but I am trying to be nice. 🙂

  13. OMG! Just found you through the upcoming blog get-together super high-secret site. Damn you, I’ve had four kids! My bladder floor can’t take it. Are there bloggy initials for ‘I just peed my pants’? Oh hell, I’ll try to figure it out: IJPMP! I so can’t wait to check out your frizzy hair in person.

  14. Your hair looks nice in that last photo. All my photos come out like that too; except that I don’t have hair anymore. Sniff.

  15. AG never found anyone she really loved in NYC for her hair. In fact, everyone was always jealous of AG styled hair in Scottsdale. They were all, “Your hair so much better than all the New York places.”

    A girl has to do what a girl has to do to get great hightlights and hair…

  16. Poor Bossy. Blurry hair does grow back, though. Unfortunately, the frizz never seems to go away (please don’t ask how I know…)

  18. BOSSY!

    You are a Blog Comic!

    That’s so cool! You have invented a genre, my good woman.

    Now go forth and blog more blog comic type things.

    🙂

  19. Thanks my peoples, my -uh- person: Blog Comic. Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Comic Blog? Anyway – everyone needs a genre, especially a genre and tonic with an olive and a slice of lemon.

  22. Lovely way to start my Monday morning coffee/nurse while typing with one hand/ read the blogs ritual. I cannot embrace my inner curl. First, when I do that, my hair looks like it belongs on some nether region of my body, and second, I don’t think I can. I’ve been addicted to straightening irons for too long. Your hair is beautiful, even blurry.

  23. Poor Bossy. You expend a truly ridiculous amount of time, money and effort on a bit of vanity and come out looking fabulous. Now you have to do it every time.
    It is the trap that comes from setting the bar too high. Plus now we all want $300 highlights.
    SK