She: We need a new thermostat.
He: Why?
She: Because the old one is broken, and there’s something about elbowing you between the ribs every midnight to turn off the heat that begins to grate on the nerves.
He: Be right back.
She: Where are you going?
He: To buy a new thermostat.
She: But what kind of thermostat?
He: One that works.
She: But what will it look like?
He: Like a thermostat.
She: But the old one is nice. It’s modern; will it look like that?
He: (frantic sound of Googling thermostat manufacturers) Yes, it will look
like that.
She: But how big will it be?
He: It will be the approximate size of a thermostat.
She: But will it be big enough to cover the old thermostat marks? Because repainting the wall sounds bleck.
He: (frantic sound of Googling measurements) Yes, turns out the upgraded model is the exact size and will cover the old thermostat marks.
She: Upgraded? But how much will that cost? We don’t want to spend the life savings, you know.
He: (frantic sound of Googling divorce lawyers.)
g says
November 20, 2008 at 10:42 amThis made me laugh. As I turned off the heat manually at our thermostat – installed in 1963, it functions only as an On/Off switch.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 20, 2008 at 10:47 amTell He to look in the yellow pages under “S” for “Snakes”.
mr.lootiato says
November 20, 2008 at 10:51 amthen all the “shes” said.
KEEP it SIMPLE. The more options and automatic settiings you have…the more problematic.
then all the “hes” said…
you women are all alike
corrie says
November 20, 2008 at 11:01 amSorry, but Bossy’s DH looks way too composed to be labeled ‘frantic’….unless Bossy really really drives him nuts of course!
Betsey says
November 20, 2008 at 11:21 amBossy, are the wires really labeled by color? Is your electrician color-blind, or just incredibly anal-retentive?
Just askin’.
We’ve wound up having to replace our programmable thermostat every 5 or so years. They just don’t seem to last very well.
apathy lounge says
November 20, 2008 at 11:23 amReminds me of the Olympia Dukakis’ line in the movie “Moonstruck” where she says that married people (whom you love) drive you crazy BECAUSE THEY CAN. This conversation would be Exhibit A.
Alwyn says
November 20, 2008 at 11:45 amYou know what I love about my programmable thermostats? That my “he” installed and programmed them. All I have to know is how to sneak over and turn them up when he’s not around.
dexter says
November 20, 2008 at 12:10 pmi was looking forwarded to being nice and cozy this winter with new $20,000 worth of windows we put in this summer. Last night was the first really cold night and how did the windows do? It was freezing! I felt a cold breeze coming in from every one of those triple pane guaranteed for life pieces of crap. Should have bought rolls of plastic for $20
David says
November 20, 2008 at 12:44 pmAnd THAT’S when he began to drink gin from the cat bowl.
Tootsie Farklepants says
November 20, 2008 at 12:47 pmAnd in my house that hole in the wall would become a permanent fixture.
Debby says
November 20, 2008 at 12:51 pmI think if the new thermostat is smaller it would looked FRAMED (on purpose) by the darker paint, like a border that you planned. That’s the story, stick with it.
Karen says
November 20, 2008 at 1:19 pmI am also laughing at the labels on the wires. Just so there’s no confusion about which wire is the green wire…
Reeb says
November 20, 2008 at 1:22 pmThe best part about moving from a charming 60 year old house to a somewhat less charming 4 year old house was the PROGRAMMABLE thermostat. Not to shout, but I love it. It’s fabulous to lie comfy in bed and hear the heater coming on, knowing I won’t have to traipse, freezing, to turn the heater up every morning.
PS Ours has now lasted 15 years and still working fine.
Reeb says
November 20, 2008 at 1:24 pmI notice that it’s the job of She to elbow in the ribs and He to get up in the middle of the night. Nice He.
Patricia says
November 20, 2008 at 2:34 pmI agree with Reeb – it is nice to wake up to a warm house – I installed mine in my 100 year old house just a week ago and I love it! My wires were not colour coded so beautifully so I had to write a table to keep track: the red wire was G and the blue wire was W….urghhh
HeyJoe says
November 20, 2008 at 2:42 pmHow DOES Mr. Bossy tolerate you?
ShallowGal says
November 20, 2008 at 3:03 pmIt’s really just so much easier to keep elbowing them in the middle of the night to adjust the thermostat.
Michele says
November 20, 2008 at 3:31 pmI would have replaced the thermostat myself, then HE wouldn’t have had any say in what it looked like. Although we did have one of those stupid round non-programmable ones practically forever.
Cat says
November 20, 2008 at 4:05 pmI thank God every morning for the little luxury of a programmable thermostat.
Amanda says
November 20, 2008 at 4:46 pmI DID replace the thermostat myself. Programmed it myself. And adjust it myself. Seriously, the people in my house could have icicles hanging from their noses and no one would get up to adjust the thermostat.
Domestic Goddess (in training) says
November 20, 2008 at 5:28 pmI had similar thermostat experience with my husband. Spousal support rules!!!
Little Miss Sunshine State says
November 20, 2008 at 5:37 pmFor about 8 years, in our house, an elbow in the rIbs at midnight only meant one thing….PERIMENOPAUSAL MIDNIGHT HOT FLASHES!
chuck says
November 20, 2008 at 7:29 pmthe solution is to move to hawai’i where there is no NEED for that
just sayin’…
bossy\'s friend martha\'s sister says
November 20, 2008 at 9:39 pmplease tell me what thermostat to buy or not buy… and send bossy husband over here to install it… please…. oh please….. I’ll let you play with my sister… say at Ikea or Trader Joe’s…
Galina Nemirovsky says
November 20, 2008 at 9:43 pmLately I got into reading some Bukowski. One of the lines recently struck home. “Women do a lot of suffering; that’s why they require so much love.”
Amen.
Avitable says
November 20, 2008 at 10:48 pmThat’s why you should live in Florida. No need to worry about the heat!
Cactus Petunia says
November 21, 2008 at 12:09 amBossy, you are a genius! I wish I’d thought of asking my husband to get one that covered the old paint…pop over to Buenos Burritos to see what happens when you don’t.
Beth says
November 21, 2008 at 1:38 amWe have a beautiful programmable thermostat BUT MY PARTNER NEVER LETS ME TURN THE HEAT ON. There, I said it. I told the world. And I feel better. Thank you, everyone. Thank you. Off to put on another sweater here in San Francisco, where even if you do get to turn on the heat it gets sucked out of all the uninsulated houses built by people who do not understand that Northern CA is not Southern CA.
Wacky Mommy says
November 21, 2008 at 3:00 amat our house it goes like this…
HIM: You turned up the heat, didn’t you?
ME: No.
HIM: Yes, you did. To 70. Did you turn it up?
ME: Maybe.
HIM: aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…
ME: IT’S COLD IN HERE!
MamaMo says
November 21, 2008 at 12:15 pmOh my gosh! WE need a new thermostat – and now I’m afraid to ask for one.
cat says
November 22, 2008 at 5:02 pmOOOoooohh, now I know where the “little she” gets her personality…..
At my house it goes like:
He: I’m cold. It’s cold in here.
She: No it’s not. You’re dressed like it’s summer. Put on a sweater.
He: It’s freezing.
She: No it’s not! It’s set for 66*!! And put on some socks while you’re at it!
He: You’re trying to kill me.
She: OMG. There are much easier and quicker ways.
He: No one else lives like this. Did I tell you you are turning into your mother?
She: On second thought, is your life insurance paid up?
Helen E. H. Madden says
November 23, 2008 at 4:21 pmIn our house, we’ve been having the exact same argument, only its over the downstairs toilet that got pulled out 2 years ago due to a leak in the plumbing and it still hasn’t been put back in yet. My advice? Don’t let this discussion go on **too** long, or it will be summer before you have a new thermostat!
Rhea says
November 23, 2008 at 9:25 pmI don’t need a thermostat in the winter. It’s COLD, and I have a bed full of boys and a dog to keep me warm. Whether I like it or not.
greg t says
November 24, 2008 at 4:10 pmI have had the same programable thermostst for 14 years. It has saved us a bundle of money. So if I or my wife are cold and turn it up a bit. So be it. It will go back to it’s normal cycle at next time switch. So after supper we sit down to watch some TV and turn up the thermostst for 3 hrs. it doesn’t cost that much. We figure we have saved so much we can “spend” a little of that energy we have allready saved.
Oh and Dexter it is not the windows bot lack of insulation right around them and moulding right around the window. It can be fixed by someone that knows what they are doing…
Retta says
May 4, 2011 at 6:11 pmThis has made my day. I wish all pstonigs were this good.
fipjvpvfa says
May 7, 2011 at 12:18 amSnogrM wncpuuiihrgb