Bossy does not want to talk about Jon Gosselin, star of reality TV show Jon and Kate Plus Eight. In fact Bossy has no idea how that photo of Jon and his new girlfriend found its way on this blog — Bossy will have to talk to management about that.
And when Bossy does talk to management, she will whisper to management that Jon Gosselin’s new girlfriend is not only 22-years-old but is the daughter of the plastic surgeon who performed the tummy tuck on Jon’s wife Kate because Kate ushered Jon’s eight babies into the world in a belly that swelled to the size of a basketball that was pregnant with six basketballs. At once.
But what Bossy does want to talk about are the relationship professionals who are weighing in on Jon and Kate’s divorce, and specifically the brief time that passed before Jon Gosselin was seen out and about with someone new.
“You need to take a little time off from dating, because there is this rebound period,” said dating coach Patti Feinstein. “He’s probably feeling that he wasn’t getting enough attention from his wife, so he’s all lonely, and he needs to be stroked up.”
Stroked up really, professional Patti Feinstein?
And there are other opinions. Wait one year before introducing a new relationship to the children, says psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman — even though Bossy is pretty sure M. Gary Neuman is this guy.
Meanwhile relationship expert Nancy Slotnick finds fault with both Jon and Kate. “Their whole TV show is based on them being parents and caring for all of these kids… and both of them seem totally wrapped up in themselves,” Slotnick said.
Bossy isn’t sure what to think, and if she knew what to think she sure wouldn’t say it here on a blog that would never stoop to mention Jon and his 22-year-old girlfriend, just like Bossy wouldn’t write a post asking for her council’s opinion of Jon and Kate Plus Eight Minus Two.
Relationships are complicated and Bossy doesn’t profess to know what is going on inside one of them. And Bossy certainly wouldn’t want a relationship professional weighing in on her own marriage without all the details.
But supposing a relationship expert did take interest in Bossy’s marriage. Bossy thinks maybe she could sum up their findings in this way: Gene Rayburn? Rhoda’s Joe? Bossy’s real husband: please stand up.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy and her council what a relationship expert might say about your relationship?
And be sure to check back later today for the most relationshipy comments on the web.
If you missed last week, push this link to see the creative way Bossy’s council listed the games they associate with summer.
If you need an additional giggle, go here to see what it might look like if Jon Gosselin made a Match.com profile video.
Also, Bossy would like to announce the winner of yesterday’s Whynatte Latte giveaway. Congratulations, Ashley! Bossy sent you an email. And thanks to everyone for playing along. You rock Bossy’s world.
BossysMom says
July 14, 2009 at 8:24 amIn 10 words…………..GET ONE!
The Domstic Goddess says
July 14, 2009 at 8:25 amHe provokes her, she gets all Irish on his arse.
Margie says
July 14, 2009 at 8:26 amThey’d say, “Strange and wonderful, he’s strange and she’s wonderful.”
Martha in Kansas says
July 14, 2009 at 8:27 amThey’d say, “Glad you came to your senses! Now stop feeling guilty.”
BossysMom: you go girl!
JennC says
July 14, 2009 at 8:28 amThey’d say, “A ‘back massager’ does not equal boyfriend.”
Hokie Deb (www.WebSavyMom.com) says
July 14, 2009 at 8:32 am–>They’d say, “Thank God prohibition ended before they got married.”
http://www.WebSavyMom.com
vuboq says
July 14, 2009 at 8:34 amBlank stares. Hard to comment on that which doesn’t exist.
L says
July 14, 2009 at 8:34 amPlease don’t write about worthless people. I want to barf.
BOSSY says
July 14, 2009 at 8:37 amIf still waters run deep, what about yelling wives? Huh?
BOSSY says
July 14, 2009 at 8:38 amMisplaced anger? Nah, Bossy knows right where she left it.
BOSSY says
July 14, 2009 at 8:39 amJohn Cusack? All this plus more yelling could be yours.
~Monkey says
July 14, 2009 at 8:42 amThey’d say. “He’s kind, patient to fault, she’s affectionate enough for two”
Deb says
July 14, 2009 at 8:46 amHe makes her laugh. She makes him crazy. It works.
Deb says
July 14, 2009 at 8:46 amHe makes her laugh. She makes him crazy. It works.
Audubon Ron says
July 14, 2009 at 8:49 amIs it possible to remember to close the toilet lid.
confused says
July 14, 2009 at 8:51 amB plus G since kindergarten x 32 years = long
Bush Babe of Granite Glen says
July 14, 2009 at 8:51 amJon who? Advice would be:
Synchronise routines – him bed @9, her @12. Ships. Night. Hopeless.
carson says
July 14, 2009 at 8:58 amHorses and burros make for a very happy, stable relationship.
Elle says
July 14, 2009 at 9:09 amGood friends first, relationship later, makes for great life together.
martha in mobile says
July 14, 2009 at 9:18 amWho are you, and what did you do with Husband?
julie says
July 14, 2009 at 9:22 amThey’d say:
“Nine year honeymoon? Marry your best friend. And drink hard.”
KM says
July 14, 2009 at 9:26 amHim Republican, Her Democrat. He voted Obama. Love conquers all .
Dharmamama says
July 14, 2009 at 9:27 am“Six years without one? Girl, you need to get out!!”
Hope says
July 14, 2009 at 9:35 amAt some point it just became comfortable. I miss passion.
Sue V says
July 14, 2009 at 9:35 amShe needs to be right. He needs to be needed.
Madness says
July 14, 2009 at 9:40 amYou Need Help Beyond My Professional Scope. Good Luck.
biddy says
July 14, 2009 at 9:45 am“you’re so happy, why are you keeping it a secret?”
also? is it just me or does that chick look a lot like mariah carey?
Choosy says
July 14, 2009 at 9:47 ambest friends + great sex = terrific kids (wonderful life)
Choosy says
July 14, 2009 at 9:48 amoh, and I was thinking that his new girls looks a LOT like his old girl probably looked at 22.
corrie says
July 14, 2009 at 9:51 amShe thought quiet=mysteriously interesting..but it means Q-U-I-E-T … *oh, sadness* !
corrie says
July 14, 2009 at 9:54 amP.S.
This pic of Jon looks like he’s dating Mariah Carey.
Joyce says
July 14, 2009 at 9:57 am26 years, 3 kids, he walks out = non-entity
http://thehormonezone.blogspot.com says
July 14, 2009 at 9:59 amFriends first, then relationship equals co-parents…lovers, not so much.
Shelley says
July 14, 2009 at 10:00 amI’m not sure why I thought webpage was my name
Shelley says
July 14, 2009 at 10:01 amI didn’t know Jon Gosslin was dating Mariah Carey. Ewwww.
Shelley says
July 14, 2009 at 10:02 amRed flags when you’re dating don’t disappear after the wedding.
Jenny says
July 14, 2009 at 10:03 amThey’re the same kind of crazy, so it works.
Half Assed Kitchen says
July 14, 2009 at 10:06 amHe’s a grown up, she’s flaky. Dishes still get done.
Tammy says
July 14, 2009 at 10:07 am16 years & 3 kids later, foodies hold hands in public.
The Great Getzby says
July 14, 2009 at 10:07 ampushes each other’s buttons in the most perfect of ways
monnik says
July 14, 2009 at 10:16 amBoth need to have the last word = lots of “talking”.
tj says
July 14, 2009 at 10:21 am…Dysfunctional yet loving funny yet sad drunk yet sober typical :o)
…Blessin’s…
Black Hockey Jesus says
July 14, 2009 at 10:29 amBlack Hockey Jesus. Say you were wrong and you’re sorry.
Donalyn says
July 14, 2009 at 10:42 am33 years,
by now
they are both crazy
as bedbugs.
Emily Rebekah says
July 14, 2009 at 10:43 amYou indulge one another’s quirks and you both need therapy.
Kristi of Million Dream Mom says
July 14, 2009 at 10:44 amSometimes there is turmoil; always they manage compromise. Love abounds.
anne marie in philly says
July 14, 2009 at 10:51 amshe’s selfish, he’s pig-headed, both miles apart, let go.
~~Silk says
July 14, 2009 at 10:59 amIf he’s single, why does he act like he’s married?
MarathonMom says
July 14, 2009 at 11:01 amHe sooooooo lucky;Wish my girfriend was HOT like her !!!!!!!!!!
RuthWells says
July 14, 2009 at 11:04 amNineteen years of marriage today. How have they survived it?
Cindy says
July 14, 2009 at 11:25 am25 years, still melt when he spoons me at night.
Sheryl W says
July 14, 2009 at 11:34 am4 young kids, tired, him workaholic, love still exsists, bff’s.
Dawn in Austin says
July 14, 2009 at 11:35 amAustin to Abu Dhabi-too far,far,far,far away.
JenC says
July 14, 2009 at 11:42 amShe married a sleeping drunken child fifteen years her elder.
Lori says
July 14, 2009 at 12:25 pmSouthern chick + yankee boy = battlement, introspection and make up sex !
Liz says
July 14, 2009 at 12:29 pmHis brand of Crazy matches her brand of Crazy. Soulmates!
Liz says
July 14, 2009 at 12:37 pmShe’s a bullet dodger – Ex just learned he’s a dad.
Liz says
July 14, 2009 at 12:37 pmAnd thanks for indulging in my guilty obsession!
wendy says
July 14, 2009 at 12:38 pmreconnected after 25 years. picked up where we left off.
judy says
July 14, 2009 at 12:44 pmThanks for the belly laugh of the day with match.com videos.
Dawn says
July 14, 2009 at 12:45 pmKick his butt out already. Gave him chances. Deserve better.
rockle says
July 14, 2009 at 12:46 pmneither of you hates the other one yet. nice work!
Jane says
July 14, 2009 at 12:47 pm30 years…still kooky..still in love
Reeb says
July 14, 2009 at 12:53 pmHis policy = happy wife makes happy husband. Seems to work!
Reeb says
July 14, 2009 at 12:55 pmGreat Gretzby, yours cracked me up! Who are you describing?
Carroll says
July 14, 2009 at 1:19 pmGot really lucky — it’s been a wonderful forty one years!
cynthiagirl says
July 14, 2009 at 1:33 pmOnly two weeks long, still in the delightfully giddy phase.
David says
July 14, 2009 at 1:34 pmRecurring monthly charges of $19.95. Oh, you meant with a person?
Victoria says
July 14, 2009 at 1:35 pmWell, I don’t have one, so they’d say. . . uh. . . nothing!
Cathy says
July 14, 2009 at 1:43 pmHe cooks. He cleans. What the hell does she do?
=)
a nony mouse says
July 14, 2009 at 2:07 pmStop ignoring the problems. Fix this relationship you butt heads.
Jill says
July 14, 2009 at 2:12 pmnight owl and early bird… our only big issue… A+.
heidig says
July 14, 2009 at 2:25 pmi make him laugh…he makes me laugh more…we’re both lucky!
chiquita says
July 14, 2009 at 2:28 pmGet out more without the baby. Six words.
Amelia says
July 14, 2009 at 2:32 pmExhusband was alcoholic; exboyfriend was gay. Expert advice? Stay single.
Gette says
July 14, 2009 at 2:45 pmNot everything is a joke, you idiots. But it works.
kay says
July 14, 2009 at 3:02 pmMature oldest child + sensitive youngest child = marriage made in heaven.
Amelia says
July 14, 2009 at 3:34 pmTaking his name in 2 months – hopefully this good forever!
Have the T-shirt says
July 14, 2009 at 3:42 pmHow about you get a relationship THEN I’ll dissect it
Brava97 says
July 14, 2009 at 3:47 pmIf she’d followed her instincts, infidelity would’ve been discovered earlier.
Lisa says
July 14, 2009 at 4:49 pmSuch a shame; he could of had it all forever.
kimi says
July 14, 2009 at 6:02 pm19 years is one hell of a long time –
sugarpie says
July 14, 2009 at 6:05 pmSeems so happy alone. Hey, that’s because I am. Deliriously!
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
July 14, 2009 at 6:09 pmThe expert would say, “When are you going to learn?”
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
July 14, 2009 at 6:10 pmOr, “If it feels too good to be true, RUN!”
Shari says
July 14, 2009 at 6:11 pmYou’re very lucky. Leave my office, go home to him.
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
July 14, 2009 at 6:11 pmAnd also, “Men. Can’t live with ’em; can’t shoot ’em.”
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
July 14, 2009 at 6:12 pmLastly, “Kevin Bacon is really the only man for you.”
Coco says
July 14, 2009 at 6:19 pmI think they would say “What is the point. Get a divorce” There did it in 7.
Eliza says
July 14, 2009 at 6:26 pmShe enables him to be a child forever. No hope.
Sue says
July 14, 2009 at 6:57 pmFirst rule, both cannot be crazy at the same time.
Theresa says
July 14, 2009 at 7:23 pmThey would say: Their communication is crappy, somehow they make it work anyway.
krg says
July 14, 2009 at 7:31 pmoh man, totally unsupervised and screwed up, and otherwise, perfect.
clickmom says
July 14, 2009 at 8:00 pmGet out now. It’s still not too late. Save yourself.”
Heide says
July 14, 2009 at 8:03 pmTaurus plus Capricorn: lock horns and bicker bicker bicker bicker.
Catherine McP says
July 14, 2009 at 8:30 pmFirst marriages wrong, kids grown, meet after 40, perfect match.
Rebekah says
July 14, 2009 at 8:35 pmLuckyluckyluckyluckyluckyluckyluckyluckygratefulme.
kate says
July 14, 2009 at 8:53 pmmy brother just emailed me about the deployed sailor (my relationship partner). my brother celebrated his 24th wedding anniversary yesterday. that makes him a relationship expert in that holy hell, i can’t believe she’s put up with him that long. he summed up my relationship with the deployed sailor in less than ten words this way:
WHO the hell is this convicted sailor?
deployed=convicted for him i guess.
Sallie says
July 14, 2009 at 9:19 pmMarriage is a long conversation. Usually interesting. Usually fun. But sometimes….
Cupcake Murphy says
July 14, 2009 at 9:34 pmOh goodie someone who has same crazy mother as me
Cupcake Murphy says
July 14, 2009 at 9:48 pmI wasn’t paying attention. What a relationship expert would say: “Considering their role models were wolverines they’ve created something grand.”
laurellee says
July 14, 2009 at 10:08 pmI will only need two words: battery operated. Amen Hallelujah!
heidi says
July 14, 2009 at 10:16 pmHaving the last word is my superpower. Nothing else matters.
Martie says
July 14, 2009 at 10:23 pm“Have you taken your medicine today? and NOT with vodka?”
Adorable Girlfriend says
July 14, 2009 at 10:32 pmDon’t date AG while influenced by drugs alcohol, or sexism.
Ree (The Other One) says
July 14, 2009 at 10:38 pmAbsence makes the heart grow fonder and them both hornier.
Kait says
July 14, 2009 at 11:24 pmAgainst all odds, finally thriving – crazy kids just might work!
Overworked Susan says
July 14, 2009 at 11:25 pmShe’s cut lots of slack because he thinks she’s funny.
BabyFavorite says
July 15, 2009 at 2:06 amDivorced June ’98, new marriage Aug 98. Couldn’t be happier.
thatgirlblogs says
July 15, 2009 at 2:14 amHe cooks, she eats, it’s all good in the hood.
Hunter says
July 15, 2009 at 7:37 am“After decades with one, now possibilities abound in his life.”
heatherw says
July 15, 2009 at 1:13 pm“Every form of refuge has its price” – The Eagles
kelly says
July 15, 2009 at 6:48 pmBoth of you! Stop being so stubborn, Gah!
Teachermama says
July 16, 2009 at 12:35 amNot sure what to say. Am sad though…..those kids!
Jenn @ Juggling Life says
July 16, 2009 at 1:43 amAfter 23 years thinking we’ll (soon) rock the empty nest.
Sven says
July 16, 2009 at 9:34 amRebounding, twice, simultaneously. Like a car crash, but sexier.
lauren says
July 16, 2009 at 5:04 pmMamma Mia and Dixie Daddy: opposites attract and stay attracted.
marthavmuffin says
July 16, 2009 at 10:01 pmHappy at home with newly adopted child after 10 yrs
Amy says
July 17, 2009 at 7:25 amHoped to fix broken man. Married. Divorced. Much smarter now.
Jacki says
July 17, 2009 at 10:15 amThey’d say: “You are a very lucky man….tell her every day!”
GrandeMocha says
July 17, 2009 at 3:58 pmA better response would have been, “Can I make you a margarita & run you a bath?”
Evolving says
July 19, 2009 at 11:57 amAmazing. Wonderful. Complicated. Pattern breaking. Not sure I’ll be fixed…
supertiff says
July 19, 2009 at 2:53 pmit’s so over, we need a new word for over.