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i am bossy

Ten-Word Tuesday.

18-yrs

You are looking at a photo of Bossy’s first day of college. Sort of. Actually you are looking at a photo of Bossy’s first day of college give or take the following:


  • Six months. This photo was taken six months prior to the beginning of college.
  • One bird. This bird did not accompany Bossy to college; this wholly unnatural pose was struck at a Florida aviary.
  • One boyfriend break-up. Horrible.
  • One boyfriend get-back-together. Worse.

But you are definitely looking at the first day of college hair, and that is definitely the first day of college eyeliner.

More details about the first day of college hair: At some point Bossy and her mother decided that getting their hair cut wasn’t enough, they wanted to be shorn.

Bossy’s mom suggested the look was very Jean Seberg, although on Bossy the look was more Concentration Camp since directly following this photo, Bossy’s tonsils were removed—along with most of her body fat when she couldn’t eat solid foods or spicy foods or citrusy foods or food.

What this photo doesn’t show is how every decision Bossy made surrounding this time frame had to do with her boyfriend who became her ex-boyfriend who became her boyfriend again and finally, her ex-boyfriend.

Bossy’s process of selecting a college consisted of calculating the number of miles all prospective schools were situated from her boyfriend’s apartment door.

Bossy vaguely remembers receiving glossy college brochures in the mail, which she promptly tossed—unopened—onto the avalanche of similar brochures which she kept on the glass shelf of Her Unit.

Ultimately Bossy chose a college only 10.2 miles from her boyfriend’s apartment and the cat piss and wicker that filled it, and only 3.6 miles from her childhood bedroom, where Bossy continued to live while working at her high school job.

first-boy

This was Bossy’s son yesterday during his first day of college orientation. He is taking full advantage of a program that devotes an entire week to introducing students to their campus, each other, and their enormous city.

Bossy’s college orientation? She can’t remember because she probably skipped it. But this is what Bossy does remember about her first day on campus:

late, unprepared, forgot campus map, purchased Whisk for boyfriend’s laundry

Which is what today’s ten-word challenge is all about: in exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy what you remember about your first day of college?

And if not college—what were you doing instead?

goodbye-book

Reader Interactions

Comments

  7. I like how the orientation schedule emphasizes and re-emphasizes that you TELL YOUR PARENTS GOODBYE! it’s probably more a message to the parents than the kids. 🙂 I won’t be in your shoes until 2013, and it’s going to take more than a pushy orientation schedule to pry my weeping body from my son! Good luck Bossy! Be strong!

    Reply

  11. Great roommate, who has what, mother crying while making my bed*.

    *Which she did every single year of college – both the crying and the making the bed.

    Reply

  24. I should clarify that I stayed at home to attend university, and this was what I always teased mom about. She couldn’t wait to say something about her daughter in college, as she called it. And this was just the first day!

    Reply

  48. One drunken fiasco after another, wild excess after boarding school.

    (don’t tell my kids, ok?)

    Oh, and while I am not currently drunk – I originally posted my ten words in the wrong part of your blog.

    Reply

  108. 600 students in Chem 1A! At 8:00 a.m. on Monday! Prof recapped 1 year of high school Chem. in 20 minutes. Minutes 21 – 90 I sweated profusely!

    Reply

  135. All girls – I’m tallest. Parents, Pooh sheets, cigarettes, party!

    And then when I went back there was this whole awkward mid-twenties older than EVERYONE kind of feeling. But that’s more than ten words.

    Reply

  151. I remember my roommate looking down her nose at me because she was an engineering major and I was undeclared (so sue me, I was 17). By Christmas, she managed to get pregnant and convinced her boyfriend who was packed off in the army that the kiddo was his… I’m pretty darn sure it wasn’t. Meanwhile, I didn’t declare my major until I was a junior. I may have a decision making disorder, but at least my screw ups are mine alone.

    Reply

  158. Hippie girl planning to change sorority from inside. Huh.

    Sorority improvement failed. Two years later: ex-sorority hippie architecture student.

    Reply

  160. By the way, Bossy’s son is astonishing in that he allowed Bossy to photograph him IN PUBLIC in front of his college peers. Either that or he’s so used to it that he didn’t notice the camera was out. OR… Bossy used a secret spy camera, in which case what exactly was it hidden in?

    Reply

  172. Twenty years since high school graduation..I was very scared!

    on a side note..I ended up with a 4.0 GPA as compared to my high school GPA of 1.97!!

    Reply

  178. “Moving 350 miles away to Pittsburgh at 17.”

    Me too! Also:

    Shitty single room. Went to Carnegie Museum. Saw dinosaurs. Alone.

    Reply

  179. Two takes:
    at 18; new college frosh:

    why is everyone so upset? See ya mom and dad.

    at 30; starting my job as professor:

    why do students think it’s ok to text in class?

    Reply

  187. Sooo Funny! I was working at Jungle Gardens in Sarasota Florida as an exotic bird handeler… Remember Frosy riding the bike and Elvis the bird that could paint? Yep. That was me with the clicker.. Small world… Good luck to you and yours.

    Reply

  201. Brother snuck beer to underage me in all girl dorm.

    (Seriously! First day ~ my roommate didn’t know what to think but she was happy)

    Reply

  208. My Mother’s comment as she’s driving off, leaving me in the biggest city I’d ever been in- Chicago, at DePaul University:
    (here come the 10 words)

    “Are you aware that your roommate is probably a lesbian?”

    Which was prefectly fine, and she probably was, and all worked out perfectly well. It was just the first time I heard my mom use the word.

    Reply

  215. I skipped out halfway through my orientation to meet my girlfriend who lived .8 miles from campus. Yes, I was lost on my actual first day.

    Reply

  235. Met Emily Brown from Indy, introduced me to the 3-for-1 Colorado Bulldog at happy hour. Love That Girl! sorry, went over 10.

    Reply

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