This past weekend Bossy had the opportunity to join her friend Amy at the beach. Oh happy day! The promise of sun, salt air, waves — the terror of bathing suit season!
Bossy has never had a decent, flattering swimsuit her entire life. For one thing, the suit must prove its mettle in ocean waves and Vermont lakes. Bossy doesn’t need a bathing suit as much as a romping suit. Maybe this explains why Bossy’s bathing suit for the last decade has consisted of a jogging bra and a stretched tankini bottom with a built-in skirt:
But this year Bossy purchased a swimsuit at a very exclusive high end boutique named Target:
Bossy admits it’s a wee old fashioned, but Bossy enjoys its modesty. In fact, if Target manufactured one of these suits in a floor-length model, Bossy would have purchased it in every color:
Bossy didn’t even mind when Bossy’s friend Amy pointed out that Bossy’s suit is more like a beach cover-up than a suit. Bossy refers to that as one-stop shopping!
Bossy can sum up her attitude toward bathing suits in this way: Bossy would never ever never live in a warm climate.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about a bathing suit, past or present, that you loved? Or tell Bossy about a bathing suit nightmare. Or tell Bossy about how you go about selecting a swimsuit. Or tell Bossy what kind of suit Bossy should buy. Or just whatever whatever bathing suit. Okay?
And be sure to check back later today for the best bathing suit stories on the web.
If you missed last week’s Ten-Word challenge regarding a summer reading list, don’t! Click here! Nearly 100 great summer reading suggestions!
Have two new bathing skorts. Have only been bathing once.
(For the record I usually write what I want to say for 10 Word Tuesday without counting then count and adjust. That one right there above this disclaimer? Came out in exactly 10 on the first try! I think I’m getting the hang of this.)
–>Fat looks better tan, so take your clothes off!
–>Drawer of swimsuits of seasons past for those in need.
–>Sometimes still wears strapless prego top to avoid tan lines.
–>Also, I’m never going to look younger in my bathing suit.
Tankini top and a skirted bottom was designed for me.
Thank God they invented bathing suit skirts. That is all
Mail order Lands End Mom Suit. Fits right every time.
Bought my own suit in 1991. Hand-me-downs since.
Good enough for lake/ hot tub tankini , not so kini.
Heavy duty constructed suit, bought beach wrap skirt to blend.
twofer
Gut it out in fat bikini. Swim with octogenarians only.
One of the first jobs I got when I moved to LA 20 years ago was modeling bathing suits. In a casino. Where you had to walk in and out of all the tables and spin and twirl. I ended up in the ER.
Loved, red/white piping trim, called surfer suit/two piece
Looking for coverage from chin to knees, including upper arms.
3 suits ordered. hope one will fit. otherwise, will cry.
Bathing costume (the Brits) says it all for me.
I’m not a big fan of the skirt bottom. I’m small, but not well-toned in the ass/upper thighs (my daughter says I have a fluffy butt), but I’m not into the skirted suit look for myself. I feel like people really aren’t paying as much attention to our bodies as we anxiously worry they are — they are too busy worrying about their own body image hang-ups. Also, a little Jergens Natural Glow for fair skin is a great gradual self-tanner. It makes my purple veins somewhat less noticeable.
Have this in two colors:
http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/swim/solids/PRDOVR~10235/10235.jsp
Also have this:
http://bit.ly/qNV4ki
Buying swimwear is like buying bras: buy favorites in multiples.
Land’s End suits fit great. My favorite suit was maternity.
Beach town living requires a drawer just for bathing suits.
Fav was bright orange bikini w/ killer tan…………..long ago!
(for anyone looking J. Crew makes great suits that fit and hold in all the bad places and don’t look too matronly)
I’m sorry. I don’t discuss these things in public.
No longer wearing two pieces. Now covering up bulgy bits.
Fourth Grade two piece in Orange, the best I’ve looked!
American flag string bikini worn at age 12 best ever
P.S. I love your new suit. You look fabulous.
http://modestsea.com/?ad_type=price_4&gclid=CLfO0Ob8jaoCFYpd5Qodq3Z4og
not technically ten words, but this is what I want.
A suit that sucks all in. Where’s the fat go?
The Orthodox at my JCC wear shorts and tees over their bathing suits during “women only” swimming time. I hear the men swim nekked. What gives?
Bossy,
You are too damn skinny to be wearing that … that… that… ‘bathing suit’.
Yes, you are.
High school gym, black, straps tied in back with shoelaces.
In love with bottoms from Lands End, but also this: http://www.landsend.com/pp/BeachLivingDotShirredMiniSwimMini~216189_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::IY5&CM_MERCH=IDX_Swimwear-_-Sale-_-Women&origin=index
Age 14. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Orange Polka Dot Bikini.
Age 54. One piece. Board shorts. NEVER remove board shorts.
Florida. Land of obese women in bikinis. I feel skinny.
Go to beach with gorgeous daughter. NOBODY looking at me!
One-piece for lanes, strapless for tanning, bikini for skinny days.
Life is too short to wear such a conservative suit.
Bossy looks all Daisy Buchanan. I’m Land’s End girl, myself.
Here in Charleston, SC – everybody wears suits – most don’t flatter
Way too pale for bikini. Sorry about that, Greek beachgoers.
bating suits are not my friend…tank top and skorts are!!!
Olivia once wore miniskirts shorter than Bossy’s bathing suit !
I love your suit! It’s very ‘retro’ looking! Adorable as always
velvet bikini, top came up as I slipped down hilside
My attitude about swimsuits? Avoidance. Thank God for northern climates.
You could practically interview for a job in that suit.
SK
Swimwear for me now includes a “rash guard” shirt (sadly).
Bathing suit? Fuck that shit. I like to swim naked.
Luggage lost. Husband picks out bikini. Really? Yes, he says
Pale, skin cancer fearful: rash guard plus boy shorts. PREETTTTTTYYYYYYY!
Skin cancer fear (mentioned above) is why I totally endorse Bossy’s Little Black Dress of conservative swimsuits.
Victoria’s secret should disclaim, “body sold separately” in catalog add
All I know is my bazooms need underwire now. Poop.
I tried on that very suit at my local Target!
@28: hot bikini. @57: in sleeping bag tied at neck.
Modest suit with strategic mesh cut outs. Felt like model!
Red/White Stripped Bikini @ 14yrs. lake vacation.
Caught eye of certain boy. Great summer!
Definitely must be able to work incredible summer sun miracles.
Homemade suit, industrial strength fabric-looked as bad as sounds.
1987. Eighteen. Hot pink OP skimpy tank. I looked hot!
2011. 42. Black shower curtain to hide hail damaged thighs.
Never buy a yellow bathing suit. Want to know why? http://www.mom-zombie.com/?s=yellow+bathing+suit&x=16&y=13
Looked good. Didn’t know it. Look bad now. Don’t care:)
I love mine right now! But it’s getting holes. Sad
Ditto #60 – and add light pink as a no-go color for bathing suits. Trust me, I had one.
wore it once… my sister… borrowed it…. and lost it
Lisa has seen some women who have more reason to fear the bathing suit than Bossy.
(There – quite proud of myself for being able to say that in ten words!)
Tannned, I looked naked in my bronze colored bathing suit.
Saw my boss hiding in the bushes watching from afar.
As a year-round beach resident in a warm climate, I can tell you that the secret is a smooth whip-off-your-coverup-as-you-fall-into-your-chair-inches-from-the-water-so-you-can-run-in-to-cool-off-so-fast-no-one-really-sees-your-suit technique.
haven’t you heard of the burkini? Moslim women in Holland (and other places) are wearing them:
http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burqini
(couldn’t find an English site, but you get the drift)
This shows it better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYgUc9KT68g
heck I love you Target suit. I think you look fab and in the first picture? really bossy.
first pregnancy: husband’s huge shorts faded tube top: people blinded
White skirted suit became see through when wet. Teenager. Mortified.
Purple two-piece, no shame. Don’t care anymore!
Lands End Beach Living tankinis with swimskirt. Wear everywhere.
Cutest suit ever! And doesn’t Bossy just look like a 15 year old in these pictures? I need me one of them suits.
I do declare Bossy, you need a real swimsuit. Nine words, but still…sweetie, a swimsuit. Let that grogeous out-see also: Boden sale, Athleta sale, Lands End super sale. I will also hunt you down if you buy a swimsuit with a skirt ever again. You are not 76!
Can’t find cups that don’t runneth over, so cleavage galore.