August 4, 2011
Things Ancient Egypt Has In Common With Bossy’s Campground
This past week while camping in rural Vermont, Bossy was reading the Pulitzer Prize winning biography Cleopatra by Stacy Schiff.
According to the words typed and bound in this rectangular doorstop, the city of Alexandria Egypt, a generation before Christ, was responsible for many of the advanced scientific concepts attributed to later dates and places of origin.
Bossy would like to assert the theory, however, that all of these scientific principles can be found in the rural Vermont campground where the Bossy family spent the past ten days.
Let’s take a look at those things attributed to Ancient Egypt before and during Cleopatra’s reign:
- The circumference of the earth was first measured. Maybe so. But at Bossy’s campground, that measurement would be secondary to measuring the circumference of the fire pit to determine if it’s large enough for the pot of screaming lobsters.
- The sun’s location was mapped at the center of the solar system. The campers in Bossy’s campground also know the sun is in the center of it all. But luckily the campground was mapped near a small city with Thai restaurants for when the sun disappears from the center of it all.
- The workings of the brain were illuminated. Just like the workings of the brain were illuminated in Bossy’s campground.
- It was decided the moon has an effect on tides. And Bossy’s campground knows this, because the moon indicates when the water is calm enough for the Bossy family to steal a night swim in that dock area marked No swimming.
- The value of pi was determined. Sure. But Bossy could have told you all about 3.14, and how this is the number of times Bossy fills her red plastic cup with wine each night.
- The behavior of linear perspective was defined. Maybe so. But Bossy’s campground illustrates it in a very scientific way.
- The utility of a lightning conductor became known. Yeah, uh-huh. Bossy has only one word for ancient Egypt: Pop-up trailer in a thunderstorm, y’all.