December 4, 2012

Your December To Do List In Dr. Seuss Verse


Welcome to Tuesday, the fourth of December
A month full of cheer with so much to remember
But worry not friends, there’s no need to curse
Just refer to this list of To-Do things in verse

The first thing you’ll need is liquor on hand
To deal with people who drop by unplanned
Stock vodka, tequila, gin, and wine too
No, not for the guests! That booze is for you!

Then go to a party and stand by the food
Christmas cookies and cheese! Eat until you’re unglued
Then resolve you won’t do that again in that way
And you’ll honor that promise! (Until the next day!)

Now get out your laptop, you’ve got gifts to buy
Online shopping is like a Consumer Drive By
A few clicks of the mouse beats waiting in line
And you’ll spend twice the money in half of the time

Then colorful lights should be strung ’round the room
More than half will burn out you’ll do best to assume
Buy more than you need, leave no room to doubt
And buy them in June before Target’s sold out

Next, think about Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah too
Northern Lights, where they have so much more fun than you
‘Cause those celebrations are less about buying
There’s less of a run on bankruptcy applying

And last: don’t forget all the final details
Bake your pies, find your stockings and hang them from nails
Get ready for twenty-five days left of fun
It’s a carnival ride, just hang on ’til it’s done

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