With warmer weather right around the corner, it’s time to scrub the winter lint from our belly buttons. This is an oft-ignored organ. Or sometimes, as in the case of midriff shirts and low-rise jeans and girls whose meals consist solely of food purchased at the mini-mart, we wish it were a slightly more ignored organ.
Bossy’s belly button isn’t cute. And not just because she’s two kids into it, but because it was never cute. It’s neither an Innie nor an Outie, and it features a small skin tag – which Bossy supposes if you squint until your eyes tremble – could resemble a flesh-colored belly button ring.
Of course it’s not the kind of belly button that requires cosmetic surgery, which they actually do because Bossy has witnessed it with her very own eyes… on the Discovery Health Channel. They actually, gah, move the belly button. Just slice it right off and reapply. How can they do that? Doesn’t it attach to something in there?
But whether punctuating a bitchin abdominal six-pack or hiding last night’s consumed six-pack, belly buttons deserve an occasional go ‘round with the soap. And in case you don’t think belly button lint is worthy of an entire blog entry, I point to Dr. Karl Kruszelnicki, who has carved a career in both radio and print studying belly button lint. Of course with a name like Kruszelnicki, what were his options really?