Can you match the Food Network concept to the Show’s Host?
First person to guess correctly wins a prize!
1. 30-Minute Meals. Hi. I am a teamster dressed up as a chick chef. I name my recipes things like The Thighs Have It Cacciatore and I like to list my ingredients by saying, “You got your chicken, you got your spices, you got your loaf pan – awesome!” My film set features plastic kitchenware in primary colors and I got married last year which means I’m gaining thirty pounds an episode. Who am I?
2. Barefoot Contessa. Hi. I live in the Hamptons with lots of Hampton money and delicious Hampton light spilling into my Industrial/Country kitchen. While preparing recipes I often get so orgasmic that I suck air through my teeth. I dote after my hard-working husband Jeffrey who commutes to New York City and is probably off right this second banging some tiny blonde who cooks with low fat ingredients. No matter, he’ll return in his Mercedes CLK-55 just in time for my
Brussels Sprouts Lard-ass Brussels Sprouts Lardons. Who am I?
3. Everyday Italian. Hi. I’m just telling you right now, I’m too sexy for my kitchen. I love to cook – the feel of squid ink exploding from between my fingers, the smell of musty rosemary, and the taste of honey all warm and melty in my mouth. When I taste-test I roll my eyes into the back of my head and moan. I like to pronounce ingredients using my Grandmother’s Old World accent so that words like Prosciutto release directly from the back of my tongue, but that is where the similarity between my grandmother and I end, trust me. Come inside my walk-in. Who am I?
4. Paula’s Home Cooking. Hi Y’all! I come from the south and cook everything in lard. I’m mean as a snake but I don’t think y’all ever find out as long as I keep looking directly into this here camera calling y’all Y’all. That and bringing my grown sons on the set with me who still call me Momma. Ain’t that right, sugar? And speaking of sugar, my menus often send y’all into Septic Shock just because my idea of a light breakfast in bed includes Dutch Apple Pancakes, Spicy Cinnamon Cake, and Gruyere Puff Pastry on one little old tray. Who am I?
5. Semi-Homemade Cooking. Hi. I’m gonna show you how to make Oriental Pork Wrappers using frozen breakfast sausage! Then I’m gonna show you how to make Crispy Coated Artichokes using canned artichokes and leftover Kentucky Fried Chicken! My grandma taught me how to entertain the old-fashioned way but life’s little pressures and my huge drinking habit forced me to come up with little cooking shortcuts that require absolutely no real food! And I love to dress up to match my Tablescapes – like the time I stuffed my bra with cue balls for my Pool and Dart Party menu. So fun! Hey, where are you going with that flask? Who Am I?