I’m the stupid one who still travels the day before thanksgiving. To make matters worse my wife and I are flying with our twin three year-old daughters and we’re totally confused about the carry-on rules. Do you have any tips?
– Over The River And Through The Woods
Although only seven weeks ago the airlines decided that on-board explosives were likely being fabricated from your carry-on deodorant and breast milk, they changed their minds.
These days the airlines have enacted the 3-1-1 rule: You are allowed to carry on liquids and gels and aerosols and explosives as long as they are in
3-ounce containers that are placed inside clear 1-quart ziplock bags. Limit one per passenger.
The following is Bossy’s List of Common Carry-on Items that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) deems OK if the passenger follows the 3-1-1 rule:
- Baby Formula
- Prescription Medication
- Hair Styling Products
- Screwdrivers, Pliers, and
- “Beverages” brought from home
- Aerosol Paint
- Pressurized Cheese
- Transplant Organs
- Cigar Cutters
- Prosthetic Breasts
- Metal Scissors
- Toy Transformer Robots
- Prescription Medication
And the following is Bossy’s List of Common Carry-on Items that the Nervous Nellys over at the TSA insist should be checked with your luggage:
- Ice Picks
- Meat Cleavers
- Billy Clubs
- Cattle Prods
- and Gel Shoe Inserts
This Is The TSA’s List Of Everything You Can And Can’t Bring And Other Rules.
More Travel Tips Although Bossy’s Travel Tip Would Be: Stay Home.
Adorable Girlfriend saysNovember 21, 2006 at 12:26 pm
When traveling frequently, I keep thinking that AG should put something funny in the clear baggie and let it go through. Something like a rubber chicken or something.
blue girl saysNovember 21, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Did you not *get* my latest post? And if not, should I take it down?
annieangel saysNovember 22, 2006 at 1:59 am
Husband should always be spelled with a capital H. Only whores spell Husband with a lower case h.
Pinko Punko saysNovember 22, 2006 at 1:39 pm
I think Rebbestzin is Shoelimpy™. I think BOSSY got it goin on.
P.U.N.K.O saysNovember 22, 2006 at 3:47 pm
AG CAN EAT ME. Right after Sarah Lawrence chumpnozzles and Rebbe Munchloaf! What does the Torah say on the kosherness of emu?
Total choads, and I don’t mean the stumpy penis definition, I mean the total choad definition.
As usual, BOSSY ROCKS.
Various Scallops and Oysters saysNovember 23, 2006 at 2:29 am
What, no exhortation to try the veal? Oh, BTW, EAT ME. More parables featuring Spiderman please.
annieangel saysNovember 23, 2006 at 2:47 am
God this bites.
AG, do you seriously care about this? If you do, I’ll spank them good for you, but I feel it would be a waste of both my time and Jesus’s.