Just a few days into the new year and already things are looking up. A study published yesterday suggests that men who indulge in moderate amounts of alcohol may be at lower risk for heart disease than those who abstain! Because alcohol increases the levels of good cholesterol! Which makes the blood less likely to clot! Unless you chase your cocktails with lots of popcorn shrimp! Which is bad cholesterol! Lots of popcorn-covered clots!
Over 11,000 men – all health care professionals – took part in the heart study, which was conducted over a 17-year period. Those health care professionals who consumed one to two drinks a day had lower rates of heart attacks than those health care professionals who didn’t drink at all! Of course the study doesn’t include statistics regarding the percentage of now-hung-over health care professionals who go on to botch surgeries and misdiagnose patients.
… The Simpleton Warning: Results May Not Be The Same For Women Or For Men In Occupations Other Than Health Care Professional.