Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Peter Sellers, Dr. Strangelove. Come on folks, Peter Sellers isn’t even a physician and yet so perfectly captures the stress of hippo replacement surgery, rhinocerosplasty, and latex glove allergies.
Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Sigourey Weaver, Alien. Seldom do we see a nominee from the Planet Vulcan mastering this level of theatrical flexibility in her role as an underwear model. Brava.
Achievement in Cinematography
Carwash.
Best Director
Jessie Nelson, I Am Sam. Just you try telling Sean Penn what to do.
Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Saturday Night Fever. No? You want Bossy should come over there and slap you silly?
Best Special Effects
Jennifer Anniston, Friends With Money. Here Jen plays a poor dateless maid.
Best Motion Picture of the Year
Le Voyage Dans La Lune. How do they get the moon to blink like that?
Carwash is my Citizen Kane.
You tickle me to no end. I love your brain. Um, but again, you seem AWFULLY SMART, and that makes me a little scared too. Like you would flick ashes in my eyes from one of those long pointy cigarette holders. Even though I know you wouldn’t. I mean, you wouldn’t, right? Of course you wouldn’t. [nervous tittering]
oh god, don’t mention latex allergies, puhlease ….