At last the day arrived for Bossy to get her new roof shingles. Although she wasn’t quite sure how that would work because note the snow on her roof:
And that was nothing compared to the icy drifts on the sunless back of her house:
Regardless, the work crew was there at sunrise. At first Bossy was scared of her roofers and spied on them from behind her Ikea roller blinds:
But in no time at all Bossy was snapping ass shots out her bathroom window:
While the Mack truck dressed as a field mouse hunkered behind the closet door on the stair landing:
The men secured their ladders and in seconds flat were peeling off three hideous layers of shingles. This is a very pleasing noise in a house with no attic, especially if you’re the type who loves the sound of your eardrum separating from your ear canal.
Soon Bossy heard power saws overhead. She realized the men were hovering over her skylight removing the last of the boards that separated Bossy from the morning sun. Lucky thing Bossy and her husband were totally prepared for the splintered sheathing and crusty tarpaper that would fall directly into their bedroom:
Less than an hour later the crew had completed Phase One.
The next phase was the application of the new shingles over the tar paper. Bossy was very excited to see the new shingle color on her very own roof since she spent some time three hundred days researching brands and textures and color variations.
Bossy sat with her husband and watched the new shingles as they were applied, row after light gray row. Suddenly it occurred to Bossy that maybe she didn’t like her new roof because the exact color she was hoping to achieve was situated directly to her left — on her husband’s shirt. Bossy got a divorce.
No matter — the men worked on. And as more shingles were nailed in place, Bossy began to feel a little better about her shingle decision. Of course the sun had moved behind the adjacent trees obscuring the true roof color.
But at least Bossy and her daughter got their new skylights. Which is great news because they’ll never sleep a minute past 5:15 am again.
Scott-O-Rama says
March 21, 2007 at 4:14 pmI’m confused. Your husband is the guy with the goatee? He doesn’t look like the guy in the first picture where you point out “handsome husband.” Just how many guys are you married to?
BTW, your new shingle roof looks great. It gets the “Gay Man’s Stamp of Fabulousness.”
Karen says
March 21, 2007 at 5:00 pmya gotta think that shade, dark of night plus rain will probably mean you’ll like the color about 85% of the time, right?
blue girl says
March 21, 2007 at 9:47 pmBOSSY, you’re so funny! Great post. And I can so relate.
Guh. Bleh. The *second* something starts, I just know it’s wrong.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Here’s the question though. Does you handsome husband understand this characteristic of yours? The Skimmer does. So, I (secretly) give him points for that.
NEVER ADMIT IT!
Your house looks great. Good job@!!!!
1peanut says
March 22, 2007 at 9:18 amNice how the roofers color coordinated their step ladder to the shutter color.
The house looks great and your daughter’s room is so cute.
The Great Getzby says
March 22, 2007 at 11:25 amQuite the epic tale… James Joyce got nuthin on you, BossBoss
magpie says
March 22, 2007 at 12:11 pmChildren never sleep past 5:15. And that pile of laundry that isn’t in the hamper – that’s the laundry purgatory – he might be wanting to wear that only vaguely soiled shirt again.
Hayes says
March 22, 2007 at 1:20 pmThis is something I have to look forward to in the next few years. The roof on our house has 3 layers, so they all have to be removed and start over. I guess I better start looking soon if it too you 300 days to pick a color for the shingles… It will probably take me at least that long! 🙂
Adorable Girlfriend says
March 22, 2007 at 2:01 pmThe house looks great. I still cannot get over how big your cute doggie is compared to your house and sofa. You are very very brave to have such a dog and then skylights?
You are the new Mary Tyler Moore or something.
Oh, The Joys says
March 22, 2007 at 2:03 pmDoes J. Crew do shingle?
Mr Farty says
March 22, 2007 at 4:21 pmBossy should come and live in Scotchland; it’s always in shade. And raining. And night. Her shingles would look perfect.
Brando says
March 22, 2007 at 5:19 pmThe house looks terrific. And sleeping is overrated. Nothing happens when you’re sleeping.
Lisa says
March 22, 2007 at 6:04 pmfunny funny funny. You cheered me immensely, especially as I am soon to undergo the invasion of the roofers as well.
sleepingKelly says
March 23, 2007 at 6:40 amI watch our landscaping team like this. At first, I peer out the window in fear, and eventually I start staring them down.
I love the new shingles. They remind me of granite countertops (which make my heart skip a beat).
Nan says
March 23, 2007 at 11:53 pmBossy, I love your comments at Ree’s blog. I had to come visit you. And I love this post. And is that your dog?! I love him too. He is bootyful!!
:^D
flutter says
March 24, 2007 at 2:02 amYour house is so cute. I can only say, MORE ASS SHOTS!
Lauren says
March 24, 2007 at 9:43 pmA light-colored roof means your house will be cooler in the summer and you’ll save energy. You’re just shocked at the color now but you’ll get used to it, like any tragic event. Ha ha, no I really DO LIKE the color.
We had the same shingle crap falling into our bedroom two years ago. Very disconcerting.
Her Bad Mother says
March 25, 2007 at 6:50 pmAss shots rock, especially when ass-pants have hole over crack.
Chuckles says
March 27, 2007 at 10:42 amThis post makes me wish my brother would let me do more work on his house.