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Lead Poison Barbie.

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Dressed in cargo capris and a mid-torso hoodie, Lead Poison Barbie® is ready for her bimonthly hearing test, or an appointment with her Neurologist! Her patent leather fashion belt comes complete with extra holes to accommodate Barbie®’s stalled physical development.

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Read About How 675,000 Units Of Barbie Accessories Were Named In Mattel’s Latest Lead Recall.

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  6. maybe mattel needs to start developing kiddie gas masks and first aid kits.

    and while all of that is atrocious, this right here is hilarious.

  7. Brilliant!

    You know, there could be a whole Recall Barbie series. For example, Barbie’s boyfriend could be E. Coli Ken, in homage to the recalled spinach. Shigella Skipper ate the recalled carrots. . .

  8. Oh no,not Barbie! /smirk/

    I have “collected” Barbie for many years … I am sure I have some original ones with lead or worse!

  9. This would be hysterical… if I didn’t have a box of Thomas Train crap that I need to send back to have exchanged for the lead-free models – five years after purchase.

    It does a body good.

  10. Hell, youngsters these days are gettin’ soft. When I was growing up all the toys and furniture and anything else you’d want to lick, gnaw at, or stick in your mouth and suck on were all contaminated with lead and asbestos, plus all the produce was doused with DDT and we did what we were told and ate it anyway.

    And did it hurt us? Not a bit. What the hell was I saying? Something about Led Zeppelin? Great band, great band. Nurse, damnit, it’s time for my pills.

  11. My kids are getting pinecones for Christmas. No danger of recall there, unless we have an outbreak of squirrels who happened to eat Mattel products.

  14. That Barbie is so feindish. First fake magnetic dog poo that hurts childrens intestines if swallowed, and now she has imbedded lead in herself.

    Another brilliant post. Bossy for queen!

  21. Holy Lead Bazoombas….maybe The Joker has a sinister plot to render American children learning disabled from their very own toys and take over the world…bla ha ha ha (that would be an evil and sinister laugh)
    Seriously though what’s up?

  29. My uncle needs a dialysis machine and I think this one might do. Could you direct me to what page on the rapidly disintegrating catalog I might find one in XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL Black?

  37. I’ve had to give up my biggest bribe – trips to the dollars store – because of the lead scare. I’m sure a lead detector would be off the charts in the toy aisle there!