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Wishbone Tuesday. A Dr. Seuss Poem.

wishbone

The Etruscans were Italians before there was Rome
And they started a custom with a chicken’s Wishbone
Which is the furcula bone between the neck and the breast
A slight V-shaped thing, most of you could attest.

But did you know the Etruscans thought fowls were prophetic?
Because hens predict their eggs with a squawk—how pathetic
And so these old-timers would ask their bird questions
They must not have had Cable is Bossy’s impression.

Anyway, that tradition was handed down to the Romans
Who looked to their chickens to predict the town’s omens
They believed a broken wishbone could enable good luck
For whoever broke the big piece. The small piece = schmuck.

The Romans handed this superstition down to the English
Who re-named the Wishbone to please their standards (quite priggish)
And thus “Merrythoughts” was the bone the British acquired
When they wanted the wish they all so desired.

Here’s how: two people take hold of either side of the bone
And pull ‘til it breaks—if there’s a trick, it’s unknown,
Because strength has nothing to do with the winner
Next: you keep your wish quiet and get back to your dinner.

Hence the origin of the phrase, “I can’t catch a break.”
Who knew there’s an expression from a bone, for chrissake.
In honor of those Etruscans and their wishbones so kitsch,
Just what would you want if you could have your one wish?

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. And by the way, Bossy would wish for World Peace. And maybe about six feet added to her family room in every direction. And a raised fireplace hearth in same.

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  5. With everyone in the family working in the retail world this year,our son can’t come for the holidays. My wishbone wish would be that he could wake up here on Christmas morning. It will be the first one in 23 years that he won’t. Debbie Downer…over and out.

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  6. My wish would be that the asshole who suckerpunched my coworker and killed him over the weekend would have been safely tucked in jail on one of his previous assault convictions instead of outside running amok. Sigh. It’s nice to have Bossy around.

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  7. I think the trick is how you hold your thumb, higher up on the bone give you an advantage (I hold the record in our family, thus reason we have four children).
    I would wish for the end of child abuse and a fondue set.

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  8. I wish I could write a Dr Seuss Poem
    and use simple words so everyone would know’em
    But you went and used all them fancy-like words
    ‘sfar as I’m concerned, they’s for the birds.

    Reply

  9. I would wish for the end of cruelty to all living things,to be as clever as bossy,and for a design team from H&G TV to descend on my house for about a month. (Im gonna need more turkeys).

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  12. I would wish for one day with my mom. She died five years ago, and I am still so lost without her.

    Though I never, ever remember my dreams, I dreamed of her a couple of years ago, and was awakened when I felt tears on my face. And I remembered everything.

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  14. Oh, let’s see, wold peace, end to disease, hmm, ok, no deep thoughts. I’d like to meet all of these great women internet writers (without their husbands around). Smart women always get me (especially if they are pretty too)

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  15. I thought the higher you placed your thumb the more likely you were to get the bigger piece?

    My wish would be to have lunch with the world-famous bossy.

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  19. Bossy: The next Dr. Seuss. Dr. Getz. Whatevs.

    My wish? For my little boy to talk. That is my one, single, solitary wish everyday of my life, since the moment we found out he had autism. I just want to know what it is like to hear his voice, to hear sound coming from those pouty little lips and cherub cheeks (that people pay good money to anestheticians to get).

    Oh, and world peace, children to have enough to eat, disease to be wiped out, a stop to the pet-population problem in our country and for zero population growth. It’s simple, really.

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  21. I’d wish for a thousand more wishes, so I could take care of disease, hunger, peace, etc. and still have wishes left to fix up my house, my body, etc.

    And one more day with my grandparents.

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  22. Bossy, that was brills. How long did that take you?

    Oh, and what I’d ask for when that bone breaks?
    It’s not as altruistic as world peace.
    Or greedy like a sports car with a paid lease.
    My secret wish, I don’t care if you want to know.
    I want MY broken bones healed, and paid for by my H.M.O.

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  24. I LOVE this! I make up poems all the time, and once did a great Dr. Seuss one about my sister-in-law’s hateful boss. I’ll have to find it; I wonder if it would be any good if you didn’t know her boss… Who cares – easy and fast post!

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  27. hmmm…besides the usual suspects of world peas, end of disease, end of man’s inhumanity against man, end of world hunger, my wish would be that I live until I am 100 years old with all my mental faculties, such as they are.

    Here’s my, I am 9 months pregnant due in 24 days poem:

    Walking up the stairs, laying on the couch
    Nothing seems to comfort me and my huge pouch
    Babe is a kickin’
    Bladder is a pea
    Heartburn is a killer
    Somebody help me!!

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  32. I always stomped on my brother’s toe right at the critical “breaking point.” I learned early on the spoils go to the spoiled, and the victor is the most vicious! I am Beowulf!

    But now, I hate meat bones. There are no merrybones in espresso or toblerone.

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  34. In my family, the small piece was lucky. If you got the big piece, because it was vaguely shovel-shaped, you would have to dig for your wish.

    My wish today is that people would keep public restrooms clean. It’s a good place to start.

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  35. Okay, my wish for the big picture is an end to this tragic war.

    My selfish wish is for the adoption process in China to speed up!

    Props to Bossy on her rhyming skilz!

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  38. More wishes! Then I could not be selfish and only wish the cottage cheese on my ass were suddenly invisible. I could also wish for world peace and cures to diseases and no more unhappiness in the world. Whee!

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  45. I would wish my dad was still alive. And for my own home.
    Rats, that’s two. Oh, and the usual- an end to hunger, poverty and war. Now I’m up to five. Greedy I know.

    Changed the link btw, thanks for reminder. =)

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  50. If a wish I could have,
    there’s a wish I would want.
    As a blogger you see
    it’s good fonts that I want.

    So I guess I would wish
    for a new blogging font.
    A good fancy font for my blog to flaunt.

    A font! For a font I would wish!
    I would wish for a font
    and for Bossy to kill
    the wrong fonts that she’s got.

    You see, Bossy does want
    her old URL font to go.
    Where shall it go? None of us know.

    It hangs on quite alot, that old font she don’t want.
    But the wish that she want can’t be got for that font.

    So Bossy, please wish on that bone that you’ve got.
    Wish for your readers to check up on their fonts.
    Wish for the blogrolls to get up to date
    and then you can enjoy all that turkey you ate.

    Reply

  52. Oh, well. The right answer: world peace. The more specific right answer: cancer, cut the fuck out killing off my girlfriends in our 40s. The wish I’d get as payback for using my wish responsibly: that body I thought was so fat back then? I’ll take it now, please.

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  55. I would never wish for world peace, only because The Twilight Zone taught me those wishes always get twisted and you’d wind up having a plague that kills everyone.

    I would wish for Broccoli to taste like a ribeye steak. That would promote health everywhere.

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  57. unselfish wish=peace & plenty throughout the world

    selfish wish=twins,1 boy 1 girl, in the next year (hubby wants no more babies)

    only slightly selfish wish=to be rid of the skunk smell that invaded my office over the holiday

    silly wish=to have mad rhyming skills ala Bossy

    Reply

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