The Etruscans were Italians before there was Rome
And they started a custom with a chicken’s Wishbone
Which is the furcula bone between the neck and the breast
A slight V-shaped thing, most of you could attest.
But did you know the Etruscans thought fowls were prophetic?
Because hens predict their eggs with a squawk—how pathetic
And so these old-timers would ask their bird questions
They must not have had Cable is Bossy’s impression.
Anyway, that tradition was handed down to the Romans
Who looked to their chickens to predict the town’s omens
They believed a broken wishbone could enable good luck
For whoever broke the big piece. The small piece = schmuck.
The Romans handed this superstition down to the English
Who re-named the Wishbone to please their standards (quite priggish)
And thus “Merrythoughts” was the bone the British acquired
When they wanted the wish they all so desired.
Here’s how: two people take hold of either side of the bone
And pull ‘til it breaks—if there’s a trick, it’s unknown,
Because strength has nothing to do with the winner
Next: you keep your wish quiet and get back to your dinner.
Hence the origin of the phrase, “I can’t catch a break.”
Who knew there’s an expression from a bone, for chrissake.
In honor of those Etruscans and their wishbones so kitsch,
Just what would you want if you could have your one wish?
BOSSY saysNovember 27, 2007 at 10:18 am
And by the way, Bossy would wish for World Peace. And maybe about six feet added to her family room in every direction. And a raised fireplace hearth in same.
RuthWells saysNovember 27, 2007 at 10:19 am
Love it, Bossy! May I be corny and wish for the discovery of a cure to polycystic kidney disease before my boys grown up?….
Grandma J saysNovember 27, 2007 at 10:52 am
Oh if I could only have this “muffin top” of fat sucked off my body!!
On a more serious note my wish would be for no more childhood cancer.
amy saysNovember 27, 2007 at 10:52 am
gee, let me think… a horse, of course!
Jeannie saysNovember 27, 2007 at 10:53 am
With everyone in the family working in the retail world this year,our son can’t come for the holidays. My wishbone wish would be that he could wake up here on Christmas morning. It will be the first one in 23 years that he won’t. Debbie Downer…over and out.
sue saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:12 am
My wish would be that the asshole who suckerpunched my coworker and killed him over the weekend would have been safely tucked in jail on one of his previous assault convictions instead of outside running amok. Sigh. It’s nice to have Bossy around.
Lori saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:14 am
I think the trick is how you hold your thumb, higher up on the bone give you an advantage (I hold the record in our family, thus reason we have four children).
I would wish for the end of child abuse and a fondue set.
Wayne saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:22 am
I wish I could write a Dr Seuss Poem
and use simple words so everyone would know’em
But you went and used all them fancy-like words
‘sfar as I’m concerned, they’s for the birds.
chanda saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:23 am
I would wish for the end of cruelty to all living things,to be as clever as bossy,and for a design team from H&G TV to descend on my house for about a month. (Im gonna need more turkeys).
vuboq saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:29 am
I would wish for MORE BOSSY! *woot*
Elizabeth saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:30 am
I’d like a cure for Alzheimer’s Disease.
And to have 50 pounds magically fall off of my body overnight.
Caroline saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:35 am
I would wish for one day with my mom. She died five years ago, and I am still so lost without her.
Though I never, ever remember my dreams, I dreamed of her a couple of years ago, and was awakened when I felt tears on my face. And I remembered everything.
Kristabella saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:37 am
I wish Bossy would become a rapper. Because she’s got mad skillz, yo.
joeinvegas saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:41 am
Oh, let’s see, wold peace, end to disease, hmm, ok, no deep thoughts. I’d like to meet all of these great women internet writers (without their husbands around). Smart women always get me (especially if they are pretty too)
qt saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:51 am
I thought the higher you placed your thumb the more likely you were to get the bigger piece?
My wish would be to have lunch with the world-famous bossy.
Laurie Foolery saysNovember 27, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I’m pretty sure a trip to Etruscany for an Etruscan chicken dinner would do the trick. Oh, yeah, and world peace, yada yada yada.
Mrs. G. saysNovember 27, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I wish bossy would come teach some history to my students. The would lurrve her.
Lawyer Mama saysNovember 27, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Bossy is so clever.
I would tell everyone my wish was for world peace, but I would probably secretly wish for a smaller butt.
The Domestic Goddess saysNovember 27, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Bossy: The next Dr. Seuss. Dr. Getz. Whatevs.
My wish? For my little boy to talk. That is my one, single, solitary wish everyday of my life, since the moment we found out he had autism. I just want to know what it is like to hear his voice, to hear sound coming from those pouty little lips and cherub cheeks (that people pay good money to anestheticians to get).
Oh, and world peace, children to have enough to eat, disease to be wiped out, a stop to the pet-population problem in our country and for zero population growth. It’s simple, really.
David saysNovember 27, 2007 at 12:44 pm
More closet space.
Amy saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I’d wish for a thousand more wishes, so I could take care of disease, hunger, peace, etc. and still have wishes left to fix up my house, my body, etc.
And one more day with my grandparents.
Noelle saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Bossy, that was brills. How long did that take you?
Oh, and what I’d ask for when that bone breaks?
It’s not as altruistic as world peace.
Or greedy like a sports car with a paid lease.
My secret wish, I don’t care if you want to know.
I want MY broken bones healed, and paid for by my H.M.O.
Phoenix saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:16 pm
I’d like one more great day with my Grandpa. The way he was when I was a kid.
And maybe the winning power ball ticket. 😉
JMC saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I LOVE this! I make up poems all the time, and once did a great Dr. Seuss one about my sister-in-law’s hateful boss. I’ll have to find it; I wonder if it would be any good if you didn’t know her boss… Who cares – easy and fast post!
Momo Fali saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:30 pm
I wish I could go back to the birth of my children and let out a great big squawk. Oh wait…I did.
Momo Fali saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:34 pm
And, how screwed up am I
That I just realized this rhymed
dara saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:36 pm
hmmm…besides the usual suspects of world peas, end of disease, end of man’s inhumanity against man, end of world hunger, my wish would be that I live until I am 100 years old with all my mental faculties, such as they are.
Here’s my, I am 9 months pregnant due in 24 days poem:
Walking up the stairs, laying on the couch
Nothing seems to comfort me and my huge pouch
Babe is a kickin’
Bladder is a pea
Heartburn is a killer
Somebody help me!!
Hal saysNovember 27, 2007 at 1:43 pm
“Catch a break”–I like that!!
I know what I would wish—if I could catch a break.
Busy Mom saysNovember 27, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I’d wish for more wishes. Or, a cabana boy. Not sure which, can I get back to you?
Heather saysNovember 27, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I would wish for attainable dreams. Love your poem.
Mrs. Chicky saysNovember 27, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I would wish for a do-over Thanksgiving, sans nausea, so I could eat some damn turkey. Fer chrissake.
With a side of that cute nerdy guy from “Chuck”. Aw yeah.
Deb on the Rocks saysNovember 27, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I always stomped on my brother’s toe right at the critical “breaking point.” I learned early on the spoils go to the spoiled, and the victor is the most vicious! I am Beowulf!
But now, I hate meat bones. There are no merrybones in espresso or toblerone.
Ree (the other Ree) saysNovember 27, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I would wish for Bossy and her dog to be my next door neighbors. So we could work together to vanquish all evil from the world.
Suebob saysNovember 27, 2007 at 3:40 pm
In my family, the small piece was lucky. If you got the big piece, because it was vaguely shovel-shaped, you would have to dig for your wish.
My wish today is that people would keep public restrooms clean. It’s a good place to start.
Jennifer saysNovember 27, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Okay, my wish for the big picture is an end to this tragic war.
My selfish wish is for the adoption process in China to speed up!
Props to Bossy on her rhyming skilz!
Teryn saysNovember 27, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I’ve stuck to the same wish since I was eight. More wishes.
meleah rebeccah saysNovember 27, 2007 at 4:10 pm
100 million dollars.
Jennifer saysNovember 27, 2007 at 4:29 pm
More wishes! Then I could not be selfish and only wish the cottage cheese on my ass were suddenly invisible. I could also wish for world peace and cures to diseases and no more unhappiness in the world. Whee!
we_be_toys saysNovember 27, 2007 at 4:53 pm
I wish I had the month of December off.
I wish I was so skinny I could stand to gain a few pounds.
I wish I could be bossy when I grow up.
Mr Farty saysNovember 27, 2007 at 4:58 pm
World peace is overrated.
I’d wish for a chocolate-proof midriff.
Meg saysNovember 27, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Meg wishes Bossy was her next door neighbor!
flutter saysNovember 27, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Nap Warden saysNovember 27, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I wish I was on the other side of all this closing crap!!!
Leaf, probably... saysNovember 27, 2007 at 5:42 pm
I would tell you what my wish is, but then it wouldn’t come true.
Love the poem!
Samantha saysNovember 27, 2007 at 6:01 pm
I would wish my dad was still alive. And for my own home.
Rats, that’s two. Oh, and the usual- an end to hunger, poverty and war. Now I’m up to five. Greedy I know.
Changed the link btw, thanks for reminder. =)
gramps saysNovember 27, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Thanks for the wish. Wish I could get my son back so he could see his baby.
Theresa Bakker saysNovember 27, 2007 at 7:36 pm
That Bossy would post everyday. Also whirled peas. Olive juice. And for Global Warming to either hurry up or go away.
Maddy saysNovember 27, 2007 at 7:56 pm
My, you do have a good turn of phrase.
Cheers and best ‘wishes’
Strizz saysNovember 27, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Random this, I just realized I was linking to a homepage I forgot I even had. Also I forget the balls story. URL fixed
Saucy saysNovember 27, 2007 at 11:59 pm
If a wish I could have,
there’s a wish I would want.
As a blogger you see
it’s good fonts that I want.
So I guess I would wish
for a new blogging font.
A good fancy font for my blog to flaunt.
A font! For a font I would wish!
I would wish for a font
and for Bossy to kill
the wrong fonts that she’s got.
You see, Bossy does want
her old URL font to go.
Where shall it go? None of us know.
It hangs on quite alot, that old font she don’t want.
But the wish that she want can’t be got for that font.
So Bossy, please wish on that bone that you’ve got.
Wish for your readers to check up on their fonts.
Wish for the blogrolls to get up to date
and then you can enjoy all that turkey you ate.
erin saysNovember 28, 2007 at 12:13 am
I’d wish for the big piece of the bone.
Beth saysNovember 28, 2007 at 12:26 am
Oh, well. The right answer: world peace. The more specific right answer: cancer, cut the fuck out killing off my girlfriends in our 40s. The wish I’d get as payback for using my wish responsibly: that body I thought was so fat back then? I’ll take it now, please.
Jozet at Halushki saysNovember 28, 2007 at 12:54 am
My one wish is for Peace on Jupiter.
Because if you think we have problems here….
hulagirlatheart saysNovember 28, 2007 at 8:33 am
Christmas in the Caymans!
Brando saysNovember 28, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I would never wish for world peace, only because The Twilight Zone taught me those wishes always get twisted and you’d wind up having a plague that kills everyone.
I would wish for Broccoli to taste like a ribeye steak. That would promote health everywhere.
Kristin saysNovember 28, 2007 at 3:27 pm
my wish to be only as half as clever and creative as bossy
Andi saysNovember 28, 2007 at 3:51 pm
unselfish wish=peace & plenty throughout the world
selfish wish=twins,1 boy 1 girl, in the next year (hubby wants no more babies)
only slightly selfish wish=to be rid of the skunk smell that invaded my office over the holiday
silly wish=to have mad rhyming skills ala Bossy
Alex Elliot saysNovember 28, 2007 at 6:32 pm
World peace and for my hubby to hurry up and get home so that I can hand over the kids.
Ruth Dynamite saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Bossy needs to be on Jeopardy.
Ruth Dynamite saysNovember 30, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Actually, Bossy needs to run for president.
meg saysDecember 5, 2007 at 3:39 am
to wim the lottery to buy pottery.