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Blog Kindergarten: A Bossy Tutorial. Jesus H. Christ.

Jesus H. Christ first appeared in American print in the late 1800s—although Mark Twain argued that the expression began a century before that. And he should know because with hair like his, Mr. Twain had plenty of reason to curse.

twain

The origin of Jesus H. Christ goes a little something like this:

Jesus is the artist formerly known as ????? . This is Ancient Greek to Bossy, but I think we all can agree that it must have been a bit clumsy to shout out, “Iota eta sigma omicron upsilon sigma!” every time you dropped an Ionic Architrave on your foot.

Ionic2

Nevertheless this continued until those wild and crazy Latin-speaking Christians of medieval Western Europe decided to establish a Christogram – which is a symbol that represents an abbreviation of Jesus Christ. Here’s what they did:

They plucked iota eta sigma from the longer Greek version above.

  • Iota became an I.

  • Eta became an H.

  • Sigma became an S.

ihsPLAIN

And the Latin interpretation of IHS became Iesus Hominum Salvator – which means Jesus, Savior of Men. It all makes perfect sense!

Problem: What does IHS have to do with Jesus H. Christ?

Well—occasionally iota eta sigma was transliterated to IHC due to the visually similar form of the lunate sigma. Which is a fancy way of saying C and S look alike. If you’re a Latin-speaking Christian medieval person. Or on drugs.

ihc

And then in the 17th century the Latin letter J was discovered hanging around some oint listening to azz. This letter J was given its own designation separate from the visually similar form of Iota—which is the Latin-speaking Christian medieval way of saying What You Talkin ‘Bout Willis?

So then IHC turned into JHC! Jesus H. Christ!

Either that or the H stands for Harold, as in “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name.”

Bossy Is Not kidding About Harold – It’s One Of The Many Theories You’ll Find Here.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  5. I have an older brother named Harold…..my little brother and I always wondered why he was mentioned in the Lord’s Prayer. Thanks for clearing that up!

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  6. Too funny. A “Jesus H” line that cracked me up when I heard it was “Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ and His All Girl Band”

    Best to your wee one. I hope she’s continuing to heal.

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  9. I am so glad I know you!!! You are one of the smartest people I’ve run across in a long time. Thanks for blogging like you do, its a joy to read!!!

    Molly

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  11. This is groovy in a pedantic sorta way, Bossy. Your mind always amazes me. Now, according to “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff” (an excellent read by Christopher Moore), I do believe the “H” in Jesus H. Christ stands for Hallowed, not Harold (or herald, or however the hell you spell it)! As for the other stuff…well, it’s all Greek to me.

    Hope your daughter is doing well. Best of holidays to you!

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  17. Jesus Christo on a pogo stick (wordy, but it works)! You have way too much time on your hands. You should be in that movie with Tom Hanks as one of the treasure investigators.

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  21. This is priceless. Educational and entertaining.

    I hope you know Anne Nahm at annenahm.com who has been running a series about Baby J cuts loose from the manger.

    She has improved my vocabulary a hundredfold from plain old Jesus H. Christ and Christ on a Cracker.

    And helped me improve my abdominals through unrestrained frequent laughter.

    I’m forever indebted to the both of you for all the merry at Christmas.

    Julie
    Using My Words
    http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com

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  24. Honestly? I’ve always called him Jesus FUCKING Christ.

    Factoid: My birthday is on December 25, I am not a Christian, and my name means “Judas”. Heh heh heh.

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  32. I decided to make a Debogram of my name, which is DOTR, and then I decided that the Theta rhymed with later so I turned it into a double L, and then the R was rotaed 170degrees for Winter Solstice, so I would like to be known as Dolly now. Worship me in the name of Parton.

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  34. I lean more toward the Harold explination.
    Oh – wait a minute – let’s ask the Mormons, they’ve had a more direct recent conversation with him (sorry, no disrespect intended, just trying to find somebody that speaks English that has spoken with JC besides Jerry Falwell)

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  36. SoNOTcool, it’s only Jesus F****** Christ if you believe that he married that Magdalene chick and had kids. See you in Hell…

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  41. Seriously, I blame the Aussies. Wherever inexplicable nicknames or colorful language is involved, it can always be traced back to an Aussie. Christ on a bicycle, you’re funny, Miss Bossy.

    More noogies aplenty to dish out to Miss Daisy.

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  42. Thank you Bossy! This is why the Kevbear reads the dear Bossy column. Just yesterday when I said Jesus H Christ when a car came outta nowheres and almost smacked us I was accussed of using the Lord’s name in vane. “No sir re Bob” said I… “It is something from somewheres” (due to many fun times in the 70’s Kevbear is not as sharp as some)and could not remember why it was not cursing but now I can be redeemed all thanks to the wisdom and knowledge that flows from I AM BOSSY! Thank You for saving my immortal soul just in time for Santa & Cookies!!!

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  46. I clicked over from Messing With Texas, and I’m sorry I did: Jesus H. Christ, all I need right now is ANOTHER awesome blog I have to keep up with. Okay, FINE, into the RSS reader. JEEZ.

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  47. My daughter asked me just the other day where the H came from, and I lied to her and made something up, which she believed and I think is still perpetuating. I could clear it up for her now, but … nah.

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  49. Ya know, I always wondered. And since it’s my favourite blasphemous phrase when I stub my toe or drop some non-architrave object on my foot, it’s nice to know the provenance. Thanks.

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  57. Oh. MY. God *ROFLMAO* I about died when reading this. Found your blog thanks to Ms. Hotfessional and she wasn’t kidding – this about had me ready to forward to any relatives that I know are still involved in the church…

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  61. Jesus H. Christ Bossy, were DO you get the time? Now I know why you don’t sleep, get your hair cut or buy new jammies! Just think of all the people that will think of you when they utter this phrase and laugh! Continued healing vibes to the wee bossy. Luv ya.

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  65. Ok Bossy, I have been lurking around your blog for a week or more now. I linked over from somewhere, in reference to your daughter’s accident. I have been too paralyzed by that trauma to speak up before. I have two daughters, and uh, it’s just too….
    But now I am just driven to tears, this is so freakin funny.

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  68. Ok I thought I was going crazy when i read the gingerbread post because I swore you wrote something like that before- Ha! now i know it. Busted ms. bossy. I definitely know you wrote this post last year- in response to a “dear bossy” email from moi! It’s just as funny this time around too though.

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  69. LOL OMG! I grew up hearing my father say that!
    always wondered what that meant!
    I REALLY want whatever drug your taking!lol
    your mind is scarey! lol

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  72. Bossy,You’re just damned funny, and I thank Dr.Zaius for directing me over here. My favorite holiday anecdote goes a bit like this (true story) way back in the early 1980’s when I was home for Semester Break from college, my sister was still in HS. My mother, little sister and I went shopping at the newest and most upscale mall in Memphis. Afterwards we bought a tree and were preparing to drive it all across the city to get it home. My mother was driving and pulled into traffic on a very busy street, and we basically sat there, stop and no-go for many,many,many minutes, waiting for light after light. Finally we get moving in the right direction and some woman pulls into our lane and my mother almost rear-ends her. Mom shreiks, “stupid b*&ch! Watch where you’re going!”

    From the backseat, my little sister said “Mom, that wasn’t in keeping with the holiday spirit. It wasn’t very Christian of you.”

    A minute later my mother says, much chagrined and chastised, “I’m sorry Betsy, you’re right……….” And then…

    “Merry Christmas, you stupid Bi*&h!!!:-)

    Later that night we were recounting our day and decided that the really bad driver deserved ” the stupid b**ch of the day award”

    So from that one moment in time, my family starts our cursing, or cussing, with Happy,Merry (insert holiday here) you (defamation.) And we still award “Stupid Bi*&h of the day awards” on the unsuspecting.

    Jesus H Christ! You people…..

    Anyway, that’s my story.

    Congrats on the Columbia acceptance and hopes and thoughts and prayers for the littlest Bossy.

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  78. I’ve finally met the woman who “actually does” know everything. My husband thinks it’s me, but I’ve got news for him.

    As usual, Bossy, you slay me.

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  80. Riiiiight. Next you’ll be telling me that that INRI thing that they put under or over or draped around the cross *doesn’t* stand for I’m Nailed Right In?

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  82. I bow down to your comic genius…
    (well, I bow down to you, and to our Lord and Saviour Jesus H. Christ too.)
    Your blog always makes me laugh out loud, but this one is perhaps the best so far…
    Happy Holidays, Bossy!

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  83. I hope that next you’ll take on Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick which, who knows, maybe it has something to do with some ancient doodle under the IHC that looks like said stick.

    Merry and healthy holidays to the whole Bossy clan.

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  86. Bossy learned me somethin’…huh.
    I didn’t post for 10 days before some kind reader sent out a distress comment. I thought I was too busy with Xmas and here you are giving out lessons about Jebusses middle name, with a wounded daughter, a giant dog with tree polyps, and a broken url.
    Jesus H.F. Christ! You rock.
    Merry Merry to you and yours,
    KHT
    (hope your baby girl is healing like the champ we all know she is)

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  87. And all these years I’ve been thinking H was for haploid! But back in 1850 they didn’t know from haploids and diploids and full-loids, did they? Bossy, you are a wonderful start to this new year! You bring a bigger smile than the Rose Parade. Health and healing to you and yours.

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  89. Growing up in Ionia, MI we always thought the “IHS” banner hanging in the front of the Presbyterian Church stood for “Ionia High School!”

    Reply

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