Pictured above is a half-eaten package of Trader Joe’s edamame—and
readers reader? Remember way back in the annals of months ago when Bossy was all, “This is the healthiest snack food eh-ver?”
Well: Bossy wants you to know that this half-eaten package of edamame is exactly like the other 92 packages of edamame consumed by Bossy in the past year because Bossy was living Her Best Life and that best life included eating soybeans with traces of lead.
That’s right, Trader Joe’s recently stopped selling Bossy’s brand of edamame because it is manufactured in China, and Trader Joe’s couldn’t rule out the possibility that it contains heavy metal.
So now Bossy has resorted to eating way healthier snacks, like cheese curls, where the plutonium is in plain view.
ms ellie saysMarch 20, 2008 at 9:38 am
at least you know you can find the cheese curls just about anywhere.
Greta saysMarch 20, 2008 at 9:40 am
Ugh. This is why I hate society! Don’t drink the water, it’s contaminated. Drink yummy, fuzzy sweet cola. It will pep you up! Wait…drink this diet version of the yummy, fuzzy sweet cola. Wait…that will probably KILL you!
Dara saysMarch 20, 2008 at 9:52 am
Sweet baby Jesus. If it’s not one thing, it’s your motherfucking edamame.
meh…pass the cheesecake, please!
joeinvegas saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:03 am
Well, at least now when you set off the metal detectors in the airport/school/courthouse/church/wherever you’ll know why.
Hotdog saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:03 am
I think it’s safe to say to avoid anything Chinese right now. Bossy should just live her best life according to Ben and Jerry. They seem to know whats up.
RuthWells saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:23 am
Kristenq saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:31 am
My cat hates it when I drink gin out of his dish.
MamaMo saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:32 am
At least cheese curls are easy to find in the snack cabinet – since they glow in the dark!
aimee saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:34 am
OH no! I think I have some of that in my freezer too. It’s my favorite. 🙁 how sad.
Tyn saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:48 am
Maybe Bossy wasn’t addicted to the edamame, but the lead. I hear it is quite tasty. Move over kitty.
Momo Fali saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:51 am
Lead? That explains why Bossy planned this road trip.
Maria R saysMarch 20, 2008 at 10:58 am
This post has gone the furthest to explain bossy than anything else.
corrie saysMarch 20, 2008 at 11:17 am
Apparently the devil you can see (plutonium) is better that the devil you can’t see (lead)…
Bossy’s best life shouldn’t include these heavy metals!! Now if we’re talking hydrongenated oils, hydrolized protein or high fructose corn syrup… well that’s another thing entirely!
Southern Goddess saysMarch 20, 2008 at 11:28 am
Oh Lordy, I am still waiting for the media reports that state toilet paper causes cancer. That’s why I plan on collecting leaves from my backyard trees that have been lovingly nurtured by acid rain. I wonder if Charmin is Mandarin for ‘made in China?’
Not June Cleaver saysMarch 20, 2008 at 11:30 am
Crap. I have 3 bags exactly like that in the freezer. I love those things.
Kristi saysMarch 20, 2008 at 11:32 am
Well as long as that heavy metal wasn’t Black Sabbath, you should be perfectly fine.
Michael saysMarch 20, 2008 at 11:54 am
Ew. Soybeans are bad enough, why did they add lead. Seems like a silly thing to do.
The Domestic Goddess saysMarch 20, 2008 at 11:59 am
Holy Stinking crud. Better throw away the ones in my basement then, eh?
You know, first the spinach, then the edamame. What’s next? Please don’t say the granola bars.
David saysMarch 20, 2008 at 12:02 pm
That’s why you should partner with a local food coop so you know exactly who is growing your vegetables and what goes into them. Plus you’ll be cutting down on global fuel consumption since your veggies will be coming from just down the road instead of New Zealand and Venezuela. Then you can dig into your fruits and veggies without a care in the world!
Jami saysMarch 20, 2008 at 12:25 pm
That explains why I gained weight eating them! It wasn’t the bag or two a day I was snorkeling through, it was the lead in them since that stuff stays in your body. And it’s, like, heavy.
Jenn @ Juggling Life saysMarch 20, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Wow–David (above) has given you quite a mission. So on the road trip you should be only stopping for food at farmer’s markets. That shouldn’t be hard.
Kelley saysMarch 20, 2008 at 12:27 pm
You are fancy. I only give my cats MGD.
Mary Alice saysMarch 20, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Geez – I guess I’ll have to switch to straight up Fritos….at least those are made in America and we have the government to regulate all the additives.
meleah rebeccah saysMarch 20, 2008 at 12:48 pm
edamame is so last years snack. cheese curls are much better.
Foolery saysMarch 20, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Of course, if your cat bowl is made in China, you’re only trading one problem for another (albeit a sexier option than edamame).
Tanya saysMarch 20, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Fricken fracken China, what’s their obsession with lead?
Andi Sexton (rrlscrapgal) saysMarch 20, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Yep. Another fan of ‘real food’ here.. Real butter, whole milk, real red meats , real eggs… no need for that fancy crap that will just kill ya… And of course, real alcohol!
Good luck there glow girl…
All Adither saysMarch 20, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Oh. I’ve been feeding this to my kids for years. That’s really great.
dgm saysMarch 20, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Dang–my kids just loaded up on this very same stuff last night. D’oh!
Say What? saysMarch 20, 2008 at 1:59 pm
@Hotdog: I heart Ben & Jerry! They are two of my favoritist guys EVAH!!!
Let’s hear it for the cheese curls! They are every year’s snack, they never go out of style, and that day glo orange just blends with everything you own! And best of all: they are available at every gas station you may stop at in the country! Just try and find edamame at some gas station in the middle of Ohio! (I live here, so I picked my own state)
Sassy saysMarch 20, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Yikes. I feel for thee. No Trader Joe’s here in France, just mad cow.
Nilsa S. saysMarch 20, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Really? That’s a bummer. I hope this isn’t the death knell for that store’s demise…
Suburban Kamikaze saysMarch 20, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I am sorry, but I am going to have to draw the line at “cheese curls.” As food and beverage coordinator for your Chicago stop, I am happy to mix a batch of cat bowl martinis in your honor, but cheese curls would be asking too much.
ali saysMarch 20, 2008 at 3:02 pm
angelina jolie is pushing cheetos this week. i’ll recommend that as your new snack of choice. 😉
nap warden saysMarch 20, 2008 at 5:10 pm
orangeblossoms saysMarch 20, 2008 at 5:36 pm
did you see the toothpick woman on the left side of your blog today? Ad is for Thermocerin. I think it should be for the effects of lead….
islaygirl saysMarch 20, 2008 at 6:59 pm
omg, i know! i wrote to TJs when i saw that my favorite ‘Greens With Envy were grown in China. I stopped buying them because I didn’t want to be Green With Nuclear Waste.
Wendy saysMarch 20, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Reminds me of when I bought the jumbo TJ’s raw almonds bag, only to have it recalled two weeks later! I prefer vodka in my cat bowl. It goes nicely with the tuna bits.
debbie saysMarch 20, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Dave is talking some good stuff…as you are packing for your road trip, just include a pan so you can lightly boil some of those local-area-market-bought-edamame, salt ’em up and there ya go!! Ooh…makes me want a beer just thinking about that.
(Edamames are snack food that generally go with beer drinking here in Japan!!!)
Kelley saysMarch 20, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Bout time China went all equal opportunity on your arses… instead of just dumpin’ their lead here in Oz.
Have no idea what Edamames are, but I am sure that the flavour is just enhanced by the lead lacing.
Adorable Girlfriend saysMarch 20, 2008 at 7:55 pm
See, this is why I heart TJs. They have EVERYTHING.
Cheri saysMarch 21, 2008 at 4:35 am
Mmmmm. Plutonium. Breakfast of Champions.
MizFit saysMarch 21, 2008 at 7:00 am
I HAD NO IDEA.
I guess I HEART the soy and the LEAD.
Meg saysMarch 21, 2008 at 8:22 am
Me too Domestic Goddess – I was just downstairs rooting around in the deep freezer and saw a bag from a few months ago – resolved there and then to eventually get those out and eat ’em one of these days soon. Thanks to Bossy, I don’t have to fret about not having done so!
But seriously. How could they have LEAD in them? Like do they give them a cleansing lead rinse before quiescently freezing them? Does this apply to the ones still in the pod? guess I gotta do some research.
whirls saysMarch 21, 2008 at 8:36 am
what in the hell are edamames? that just sounds nasty! ok…i googled it. i thought it looked like a bag of chips. soybeans. hm…not sure what to think about that!
Steph saysMarch 21, 2008 at 10:30 am
Perhaps Trader Joe should change his name to Trader Eats Paint Chips. How the hell does lead contaminate soybeans anyway?
peppermint T saysMarch 21, 2008 at 11:37 am
I’m never eating anything. Ever. Again. Damn lead.
Ruth Dynamite saysMarch 21, 2008 at 11:56 am
I’m right there with you, Bossy, scarfing down edamame “because it’s so good for me.”
Pass the pork rinds, please.
Dannielle saysMarch 21, 2008 at 1:21 pm
wonderful. These things are (were?) great. A little sidenote — my TJ’s still had them for sale last night (3/20)
Andrea saysMarch 21, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I have no idea what the cars in China chug, but I know that food grown in countries where they still use leaded gasoline tend to have lead in them, because, you know, of photosynthesis and stuff.
I made a project of not buying ANYTHING ‘made in china’ for a month and you know what? DAMN NEAR EVERYTHING is made in CHINA. Even at TARGET, and damn that’s sad.
Beck saysMarch 21, 2008 at 6:34 pm
I now feel wise in retrospect for being grossed out by the very idea of edamame – obviously, my eating Doritos was based on some inate food wisdom. Yay, me.
Surcie saysMarch 22, 2008 at 9:55 am
I love you even more if you got the title from A. Lamott.
Beth saysMarch 22, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Jeezy-god, I come from the generation that inhaled exhaust from leaded gasoline every day. What’s a little soybean lead among trading superpowers?
Gray Matter Matters saysMarch 23, 2008 at 11:56 am
Trader Joe’s CRUNCHY cheese “curlz” are God’s gift! My son, a fervent Cheetos” lover, calls them “organic garbage.” Just wait until I send tofu chips in his lunch tomorrow…
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