Pictured above is a half-eaten package of Trader Joe’s edamame—and readers reader? Remember way back in the annals of months ago when Bossy was all, “This is the healthiest snack food eh-ver?”
Well: Bossy wants you to know that this half-eaten package of edamame is exactly like the other 92 packages of edamame consumed by Bossy in the past year because Bossy was living Her Best Life and that best life included eating soybeans with traces of lead.
That’s right, Trader Joe’s recently stopped selling Bossy’s brand of edamame because it is manufactured in China, and Trader Joe’s couldn’t rule out the possibility that it contains heavy metal.
So now Bossy has resorted to eating way healthier snacks, like cheese curls, where the plutonium is in plain view.
at least you know you can find the cheese curls just about anywhere.
Ugh. This is why I hate society! Don’t drink the water, it’s contaminated. Drink yummy, fuzzy sweet cola. It will pep you up! Wait…drink this diet version of the yummy, fuzzy sweet cola. Wait…that will probably KILL you!
Sweet baby Jesus. If it’s not one thing, it’s your motherfucking edamame.
meh…pass the cheesecake, please!
Well, at least now when you set off the metal detectors in the airport/school/courthouse/church/wherever you’ll know why.
I think it’s safe to say to avoid anything Chinese right now. Bossy should just live her best life according to Ben and Jerry. They seem to know whats up.
Yikes.
My cat hates it when I drink gin out of his dish.
At least cheese curls are easy to find in the snack cabinet – since they glow in the dark!
OH no! I think I have some of that in my freezer too. It’s my favorite. 🙁 how sad.
Maybe Bossy wasn’t addicted to the edamame, but the lead. I hear it is quite tasty. Move over kitty.
Lead? That explains why Bossy planned this road trip.
This post has gone the furthest to explain bossy than anything else.
Apparently the devil you can see (plutonium) is better that the devil you can’t see (lead)…
Bossy’s best life shouldn’t include these heavy metals!! Now if we’re talking hydrongenated oils, hydrolized protein or high fructose corn syrup… well that’s another thing entirely!
Oh Lordy, I am still waiting for the media reports that state toilet paper causes cancer. That’s why I plan on collecting leaves from my backyard trees that have been lovingly nurtured by acid rain. I wonder if Charmin is Mandarin for ‘made in China?’
Crap. I have 3 bags exactly like that in the freezer. I love those things.
Well as long as that heavy metal wasn’t Black Sabbath, you should be perfectly fine.
Ew. Soybeans are bad enough, why did they add lead. Seems like a silly thing to do.
Holy Stinking crud. Better throw away the ones in my basement then, eh?
You know, first the spinach, then the edamame. What’s next? Please don’t say the granola bars.
That’s why you should partner with a local food coop so you know exactly who is growing your vegetables and what goes into them. Plus you’ll be cutting down on global fuel consumption since your veggies will be coming from just down the road instead of New Zealand and Venezuela. Then you can dig into your fruits and veggies without a care in the world!
That explains why I gained weight eating them! It wasn’t the bag or two a day I was snorkeling through, it was the lead in them since that stuff stays in your body. And it’s, like, heavy.
Wow–David (above) has given you quite a mission. So on the road trip you should be only stopping for food at farmer’s markets. That shouldn’t be hard.
You are fancy. I only give my cats MGD.
Geez – I guess I’ll have to switch to straight up Fritos….at least those are made in America and we have the government to regulate all the additives.
edamame is so last years snack. cheese curls are much better.
Of course, if your cat bowl is made in China, you’re only trading one problem for another (albeit a sexier option than edamame).
Fricken fracken China, what’s their obsession with lead?
Yep. Another fan of ‘real food’ here.. Real butter, whole milk, real red meats , real eggs… no need for that fancy crap that will just kill ya… And of course, real alcohol!
Good luck there glow girl…
Oh. I’ve been feeding this to my kids for years. That’s really great.
Dang–my kids just loaded up on this very same stuff last night. D’oh!
@Hotdog: I heart Ben & Jerry! They are two of my favoritist guys EVAH!!!
Let’s hear it for the cheese curls! They are every year’s snack, they never go out of style, and that day glo orange just blends with everything you own! And best of all: they are available at every gas station you may stop at in the country! Just try and find edamame at some gas station in the middle of Ohio! (I live here, so I picked my own state)
Yikes. I feel for thee. No Trader Joe’s here in France, just mad cow.
Really? That’s a bummer. I hope this isn’t the death knell for that store’s demise…
I am sorry, but I am going to have to draw the line at “cheese curls.” As food and beverage coordinator for your Chicago stop, I am happy to mix a batch of cat bowl martinis in your honor, but cheese curls would be asking too much.
SK
angelina jolie is pushing cheetos this week. i’ll recommend that as your new snack of choice. 😉
No way!!!
did you see the toothpick woman on the left side of your blog today? Ad is for Thermocerin. I think it should be for the effects of lead….
omg, i know! i wrote to TJs when i saw that my favorite ‘Greens With Envy were grown in China. I stopped buying them because I didn’t want to be Green With Nuclear Waste.
Reminds me of when I bought the jumbo TJ’s raw almonds bag, only to have it recalled two weeks later! I prefer vodka in my cat bowl. It goes nicely with the tuna bits.
Dave is talking some good stuff…as you are packing for your road trip, just include a pan so you can lightly boil some of those local-area-market-bought-edamame, salt ’em up and there ya go!! Ooh…makes me want a beer just thinking about that.
(Edamames are snack food that generally go with beer drinking here in Japan!!!)
Bout time China went all equal opportunity on your arses… instead of just dumpin’ their lead here in Oz.
Have no idea what Edamames are, but I am sure that the flavour is just enhanced by the lead lacing.
See, this is why I heart TJs. They have EVERYTHING.
Mmmmm. Plutonium. Breakfast of Champions.
I HAD NO IDEA.
I guess I HEART the soy and the LEAD.
who knew?
MizFit
Me too Domestic Goddess – I was just downstairs rooting around in the deep freezer and saw a bag from a few months ago – resolved there and then to eventually get those out and eat ’em one of these days soon. Thanks to Bossy, I don’t have to fret about not having done so!
But seriously. How could they have LEAD in them? Like do they give them a cleansing lead rinse before quiescently freezing them? Does this apply to the ones still in the pod? guess I gotta do some research.
what in the hell are edamames? that just sounds nasty! ok…i googled it. i thought it looked like a bag of chips. soybeans. hm…not sure what to think about that!
Perhaps Trader Joe should change his name to Trader Eats Paint Chips. How the hell does lead contaminate soybeans anyway?
I’m never eating anything. Ever. Again. Damn lead.
I’m right there with you, Bossy, scarfing down edamame “because it’s so good for me.”
Pass the pork rinds, please.
wonderful. These things are (were?) great. A little sidenote — my TJ’s still had them for sale last night (3/20)
I have no idea what the cars in China chug, but I know that food grown in countries where they still use leaded gasoline tend to have lead in them, because, you know, of photosynthesis and stuff.
I made a project of not buying ANYTHING ‘made in china’ for a month and you know what? DAMN NEAR EVERYTHING is made in CHINA. Even at TARGET, and damn that’s sad.
I now feel wise in retrospect for being grossed out by the very idea of edamame – obviously, my eating Doritos was based on some inate food wisdom. Yay, me.
I love you even more if you got the title from A. Lamott.
Jeezy-god, I come from the generation that inhaled exhaust from leaded gasoline every day. What’s a little soybean lead among trading superpowers?
Trader Joe’s CRUNCHY cheese “curlz” are God’s gift! My son, a fervent Cheetos” lover, calls them “organic garbage.” Just wait until I send tofu chips in his lunch tomorrow…
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