Know this: Bossy loves maps. She loves unfurling maps and she loves reading maps and she loves being good at reading maps. She loves all the blue and red veins and arteries, she loves the designated bodies of water, she loves the green mountain ranges. She loves holding the map and tracking her progress from exit to exit, Salina-Abilene-Junction City, like a flea along the giant Dane that is Kansas. Etcetera.
So when Bossy found out that all of her sponsored cars came equipped with a navigational system, she was less than enthusiastic.
A few days before Bossy was to embark on her Excellent Panic Attack, Saturn delivered Bossy’s first car— an emerald blue Vue. You won’t find any details here regarding what it was like when that first
responsibility car was parked all shiny and perfect in Bossy’s driveway, because she was too busy collapsing in cowardly heaps around the feet of her unprepared brother and husband.
Just like you won’t find any details here regarding the day the man from OnStar arrived to teach Bossy how to use the car’s navigational system. The man from OnStar was named Chuck from OnStar, and he was a very enthusiastic and knowledgeable representative.
This was the first Excellent Encounter Bossy had regarding her Road Trip, since she wasn’t available to chitchat when the driver delivered her Vue because it’s often difficult to chitchat when you are cowering behind the family room entertainment center.
So here comes Chuck from OnStar and he suggests accompanying Bossy out to her vehicle so he can commence the demonstration and Bossy is serious—that’s the way those guys from OnStar talk.
Meanwhile Bossy wants to appear professional because. Saturn sponsorship! And luckily wanting to appear professional and appearing professional are the same thing, because here is a photograph of Bossy meeting with her Onstar representative Chuck:
So Bossy and Chuck walk over to the car and Chuck suggests that Bossy climb in the driver’s seat—and when he made the suggestion, it was with confidence as if Chuck thought Bossy was the type to embark alone on a thirty-five day Road Trip across the country.
From his position in the passenger seat, Chuck turned Bossy’s attention to the OnStar Control Panel:
Chuck tells Bossy about the red and white button on the far right, and how it’s used for emergencies such as driver illness and death and flat tires and crushing accidents—maybe Chuck even suggested Bossy push this button to see what happens, but Bossy can’t remember because at this point she was slipping into an anxiety coma.
Next Chuck tells Bossy about the blue button to the left of the emergency button. The blue button is the driver’s direct link to the live advisors waiting to provide navigation and other copilot assistance. Chuck suggests Bossy engage the engine and depress the button as if she needs navigational help in reaching a destination, and Bossy told you she was serious when she said this is the way OnStar professionals talk.
“Just pick a place nearby,” Chuck said. “Any place.”
“What’s ‘a place’?” Bossy said. “What’s ‘nearby’?” Bossy said.
“Pick a place nearby,” Chuck patiently repeated. “Pick a place, any place, like Target.”
In a fit of originality, and because Bossy’s brain had suddenly emptied of all known places, Bossy said, “How about Target?”
Then Chuck explained that Bossy had to first depress the blue button in order to speak to the live advisor. So Bossy pushes the button and within seconds the live advisor was inside the Saturn Vue with Chuck and Bossy. “Hi, you’ve reached OnStar, and what can I help you with today?”
For starters, Bossy thought, you can help figure out a way to cancel one very Excellent Road Trip, because there’s no way Bossy is going to be able to deal with the responsibility of shiny new cars filled with talking buttons.
“Do you need directions today?” the Onstar Advisor repeated.
Next Chuck wiped the drool from Bossy’s chin and reminded Bossy that when we have something to communicate to another person, it’s customary to open one’s mouth and allow the air to pass over the vibrating vocal cords.
“Targetzzzzzhsjdk” Bossy said, and within seconds the OnStar Advisor had located the closest available Target and had loaded those directions into her car’s computer.
Chuck then suggested Bossy put her car in drive and remove her foot from the brake—something about needing to be in motion in order to reach a destination, blah blah blah.
Once in motion, the automated OnStar voice delivered Bossy’s first direction, “Turn left, you goof,” except the OnStar voice didn’t say goof and it provided street names and various distances that Bossy is not good at interpreting, like 200 yards.
After a handful of minutes and the same number of turn-by-turn directions, Chuck pronounced Bossy ready to navigate 10,000 odd miles alone, emphasis on odd.
Oh, and did Bossy mention that Bossy’s husband was in the back seat during the entire demonstration, leaning into the front of the car asking questions? This was Bossy’s husband:
Back in Bossy’s driveway, Chuck demonstrated a few more OnStar features, such as hands-free calling, which is activated by pushing the phone icon to the left of the blue button:
With his job accomplished, Chuck shook Bossy’s hand and wished her luck while Bossy raved about the various OnStar features—but here’s what Chuck didn’t know: Bossy had no intention of using her OnStar navigational system, just like she had no intention of programming phone numbers into her car’s computer, and hello one person left still reading!
But then a funny thing happened on the first day of Bossy’s Excellent Winefest, and when the funny thing happened she was traveling in Maryland between Elkton and Aberdeen: she got bored. And so Bossy decided to program her husband’s phone number into the car, which was as easy as pushing a button and dictating the numbers. And then Bossy programmed her mother’s phone number into her car, and then her friend Amy’s. And then she programmed her kindergarten teacher’s number, the pet store’s number, and the lady who lives next door to her brother’s drummer’s house.
And then Bossy picked up her printed itinerary and decided to use OnStar’s turn-by-turn navigation system to find her first destination. She pushed the blue button and asked for directions and tried not to choke on her own spittle when the OnStar Advisor asked if she was having a nice day.
And the turn-by-turn automated directions were entirely helpful and allowed Bossy to focus her full attention on driving instead of map reading, even if
Pine Branch Road when voice-automated sounds like Hiney Crotch Road.
The next day on her way to Richmond, Bossy pushed the blue button again and asked the Onstar Advisor to locate the nearest Starbucks.
On her way to Orlando, Bossy asked the Onstar Advisor to locate the nearest gas station—not because she needed fuel, but just so she could chat for a few minutes with the perky employees of OnStar.
Other awesome OnStar facts: you can push the phone icon button and utter one word demands which will prompt all kind of automated activity—like “dial” and “store” and “call” and “cancel” and “repeat” and who has more fun than us vagabond bloggers?
One more miscellaneous OnStar fact: when receiving turn-by-turn directions, the automated voice is male—but when you go off course or make a wrong turn, the automated voice is female. Bossy doesn’t know what this says about sexism, but the voice is pissed and she is carrying a rolling pin.
Bossy grew to love everything about OnStar, and the system never failed Bossy except that once when she was caught in the fog forty minutes from civilization, and that other time when she was trapped in the bayou outside of New Orleans looking for fuel—because apparently it can be difficult for GPS to track a vehicle that is located within close proximity of a large body of water or a large uninhabited tract of land, which is fine because it’s not like those two situations are dangerous.
All in all, OnStar saved Bossy’s arse more than once, and allowed her map reading to be purely for entertainment purposes—and about maps? Do you know how to fold an unwieldy map? Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.
The Domestic Goddess saysMay 22, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Dood. That’s ten kinds of awesome. DG needs On Star and I’m stuck with a Garmin.
Say, I never saw you at Tarzhay! I live there! No! Really! I should have seen you.
Asthmagirl saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I don’t have on star (which sounds awesome) but I do have the hands free link on my steering wheel so I can yell at my children on the way home from work and still drive safely. I don’t think I could ever go back to holding the phone to my ear (while I gently remind them to unload the dishwasher).
Of course, I can’t imagine a 5 week excellent breakdown on the road either!
Sarah @ Ordinary Days saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Did it ever freak you out knowing that no matter where you were, OnStar knew! What if a psychotic killer worked for OnStar and fell in love with your voice asking for the nearest Starbucks and decided to track you down? Just doin’ my job, giving innocent people nightmares. 🙂
HeyJoe saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I would SO love to do an Excellent Road Trip of my own, but somehow I doubt anyone would let me into their homes.
Maybe I can just get me a free car.
Avitable saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Ooh, I might want to switch to OnStar just so I can get the angry female voice. Rawr.
Ok, Where Was I? saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Holy crap is this funny. Except for your husband’s photo. That makes me a little queasy.
I hope that next time you can video some of your onstar chats–like maybe that can be the theme of the whole trip. I see a new youtube sensation.
Jozet at Halushki saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:20 pm
OnStar once lead us into the depths of Washington DC and then dumped us there. Just completely up and went to lunch and didn’t come back. We ended up circling the Washington Monument for days.
I think that there is a Stephen King novel with OnStar as the monster, just waiting to be written.
Chesapeake Bay Woman saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Gracious, I knew Bossy’s husband had skills and all, but I had no idea he could eat an ear of corn through a picket fence.
Just Jamie saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Still feeling a bit uneasy about the photo of Bossy’s husband. Extreme Makeover could have fun with him.
Heather Durdil saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Did your OnStar ever think you passed a destination when in fact you didn’t? I used a talking GPS (borrowed from a friend) to drive to Chicago and back in Feb. and she (yes it was a gal that my friend named Gladys) would get all sorts of angry at me if she thought I passed my destination. I swear when I didn’t turn into my neighbor’s driveway on the way home( too lazy to turn off Gladys) She kept yelling at me “you’ve passed your destination, you must make a u-turn at the nearest available location” When I did turn into my driveway I swear she said “Good! Now make a u-turn and your destination will be on the right”
Nance saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Sarah@, you’ve just given me an idea for a screenplay — “The OnStar Killer.” Somehow I don’t think we’ll get GM’s cooperation, and we’ll have to call it something else.
However. Bossy has touched on the amazing terror/wonder that is OnStar. The wonder is always being demonstrated by my friend John, whose wife is a GM supplier and swears by it. He presses a button, and they come on and say, “Hi, Mr. Carpenter, how can I help you today?” and he says, “Tell me where I am and how to get home” and they don’t say, “Are you drunk?” They just tell him, “Oh, you’re on the southbound onramp to I-75, and to get home, you need to travel 12 miles south, and…”
Then one day he was way up north and was getting off the freeway when the engine just died. His wife pressed the button, and the guy DID A DIAGNOSTIC FROM SOMEWHERE IN NORTH CAROLINA FOR GOD’S SAKE, told them their fuel something needed a reboot, found them a Chevy dealer nearby, gave them directions and then called ahead to tell the dealer they were coming. The guy was, like, waiting with a wrench when they pulled in, rebooted the fuel thing, charged them nothing and sent them on their way. Elapsed time, 20 minutes.
Of course, when Dick Cheney declares martial law, troops will take over the OnStar HQ so they can aim the missiles at everyone with an Obama sign in the yard. Just warning ya.
Pusher Robot saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:41 pm
As I’m reading I’m thinking … this is funny stuff … but when I read:
“Bossy doesn’t know what this says about sexism, but the voice is pissed and she is carrying a rolling pin.”
I nearly fell out of my chair!
Jacquie saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:57 pm
So what if he doesn’t have even one vagina, Bossy’s husband is h-o-t.
surcie saysMay 22, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Did I say Bossy’s husband was cute? Might have to rethink that one.
PS: Was Chuck’s hand really on Bossy’s butt?
All Adither saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Oh, I wish I hadn’t seen those “teeth”. My retinas are smoking.
mp saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:01 pm
See my problem is that I would have the radio up WAY to loud to hear the directions.
Tootsie Farklepants saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Well, we now now that the OnStar cast and screenplay is based on fiction because in real life men don’t give or follow directions they just know where stuff is and if they don’t they won’t admit it. But the part about the woman’s voice being pissed that you’re lost? That part is true and at some point she’ll be all, “Why can’t you just ask for directions? Why do you always do this? Do you even know where we are?”.
blackbird saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I could use Chuck – I’m still navigating my navigation system. This week I learned that screaming at it doesn’t help.
franticallysimple saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Oh Bossy! That photo of your very sexy husband made me laugh out loud.
But laughing didn’t top me from printing it and placing it under my pillow. Because his is dreamy!
Don’t be mad, okay?
franticallysimple saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:05 pm
HE is dreamy. Not his.
Perky saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:06 pm
So, uh, Bossy……. we gotta talk. Yeah, talk. I enjoyed the information about OnStar and Saturn (seriously? the corrections come in a female voice?????? No shit?) I enjoyed reading about the Most Excellent Roadtrip. I love hearing about your new husbands/lesbian lovers.
for the sake of those of us who might, just might, perhaps, on occasion be eating lunch while reading your blog……..
Post a warning before you include a photo like that smiling (?) gentleman in the middle region of your post.
I know I could stand to lose a few pounds and perhaps I shouldn’t be eating potato chips at lunch anyway, but making my stomach turn and my lunch return to the land of daylight was just not called for!!!!!
Seriously — a little warning next time? A’ight?????
amber lee peace saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Isn’t it funny how when someone tells you the name of a road over an electronic device, it can sound like something completely different?
Stella, huh, huh? You got my back on this one?
Damn Pond Road.
The Mom saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Nightmares! Nightmares I tell you!!! What did the tooth fairy leave your husband for those gems? A toothbrush?
Madness saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Madness LOVES Bossy long posts.
Audubon Ron saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:19 pm
What ever happened to Chuck? Did he live happily ever after? Hey, what’s up chuck?
Lori saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:26 pm
NOW I know why you spent the whole trip trying to find a new husband. YIKES! This was one of my favorite posts ever, and the comments make it that much better!
Ree (the Other one) saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm
But did Bossy program Eljo Kuslasik’s phone number?
Emily R saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I think I snorted 3 times as I read this. Once when you said Hiney Crotch Road, once when I saw Bossy’s husband, and I can’t remember the last one.
heart shaped hedges saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Remember when I was feeling sort of sorry for you, especially on those long, vacant stretches of nothingness? And, remember I told you to just remember that we, your reader, were all there with you in spirit?
Well, were you just totally thinking,
“yeah, whatever Heart-shaped, Ive got chatty friends from on-star, I dont need to “imagine” human interaction.” ?????
Because, I did not realize, that you had a social gathering linked into your rear-view-mirror, and surely, I would have just suggested that you call that Onstar Lady to chit chat during lonely times.
Maria R saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I have ALWAYS wanted ONStar..LOVE the whole idea of it…I would never want a hokey hand held cell phone or map again…and I LOVE maps as much as bossy. I am known as the NAVAGATRIX of our family. Say it proud…but onstar would change me.
Could you have onstar in a Suburu or is it a Saturn only thing? Does asking that make me sounds like an old lady?
Maria R saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:38 pm
“Grouper. It’s grouper.”
Miss Britt saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:42 pm
That is way cooler than my Tom Tom. Which is saying something. Because my TomTom is pretty damn cool.
golden saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I read a similar article written by someone who has one of those GPS thingies.
He swore he heard the GPS voice *sigh* when he missed a turn.
Heather saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I love to play with my OnStar. I often call and say, “Where am I right now?” They love that. It’s also very handy when you lock your keys in the car at the park when it’s 90 degrees outside and your kids are sweaty and thirsty and cranky. Just call OnStar and they unlock your car for you.
Andria saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:45 pm
vuboq saysMay 22, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Fun. We should all have our own personal OnStar Systems. Did you have to program every car? Or could the OnStar Fairies magically transfer everything?
jenny saysMay 22, 2008 at 3:18 pm
My mother-in-law says it with a very southern OWN STAR. It’s very cute.
Moi saysMay 22, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Couldn’t I just get Chuck to drive with me? Then if the aforementioned On*Star killer showed up, he could protect/save me with his medical skills (clearly evident in his photo).
Andrea @ Sweet Life saysMay 22, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I loved my 1 year of free OnStar. But then, dammit, they sent me the freaking bill for another year and it was something like $400. Good-bye, OnStar old friend. I’ll miss you!
Foolery saysMay 22, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Do I have OnStar? No, I do not. I’m not that far removed from a crank-start engine.
But if I did have OnStar, I already know what I would call it.
moo saysMay 22, 2008 at 4:10 pm
You’d make a great spokeswoman for OnStar. I’m a little bit in love with it right now.
andrea saysMay 22, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Made it! Phew. OnStar sounds pretty cool. One of my old bosses had GPS in his car and he programmed it so it was an Australian woman’s accent. I think it would have made it much better if it used Australian slang but whatever, no one takes my awesome business advice.
This long blog post was totally worth reading too. 🙂
missburrows saysMay 22, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I don’t think you mentioned whether or not you gave Chuck back to the OnStar people. You might want to check the trunk, just in case.
Aimee saysMay 22, 2008 at 4:32 pm
I would be totally scared of onstar and programming and things that make life easier. I’m still struggling with phones that don’t have rotary dials. Man those were the best!
Brenda saysMay 22, 2008 at 4:34 pm
It was interesting to learn that Bossy was learning all about OnStar between “Elkton & Aberdeen” in Maryland. We could have had a “Bucks” together. You were that close to me.
smithkaichjones saysMay 22, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Re: talking automobiles. A jillion years ago, when I was still young & went to places, my ever-wonderful boyfiend & I went to see some comedian (who is probably famous by now & if i could remember his name, I could maybe impress you with the fact that I saw him WHEN) & he talked about doing acid & having his car talk to him. And the car said “The door is ajar”, which he heard as “The door is a jar”, and you just gotta be careful with these things. DO not use them while under the influence.
Angie saysMay 22, 2008 at 4:44 pm
I also love reading maps and AM GOOD AT IT!
No seagull in any of the pictures, I noticed.
Deb on the Rocks saysMay 22, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I read your post twice and I didn’t see any mention of vaginas. Sigh.
Dharmamama saysMay 22, 2008 at 5:17 pm
This is the version of OnStar in my car:
Molly saysMay 22, 2008 at 6:06 pm
I am on the floor with the Hiney Crotch Road, ohmygod. hyperventilating even.
Dana V. saysMay 22, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Saw this (http://www.sonyastyle.com/sections/wear/Map_Purse) in my blurfing today and thought of you… I literally though, “I bet Bossy would like this” which scares me, because I don’t know Bossy. But I wish I did know Bossy.
Dana V. saysMay 22, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Meh, I screwed up the url:
Ok, Where Was I? saysMay 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm
These comments are like another great post. So seeing what a social network it is, do you think they’d be mad if you just called every now and then from your driveway out in the country just to chat. Like, “Hey, what’s up? Yeah, I had to get out of the house for a minute b/c that two year old is testing my patience. Going somewhere? No, I’m just sitting here in the driveway.”
Cece saysMay 22, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I love my Onstar! The kids & I like to use the handsfree feature. Oh you should try getting drunk and use the handsfree feature when calling the numbers you programed. LMAO (while someone else is driving you or you’re sitting in your drive way, car off & in park. ;-0 )
Grandma J saysMay 22, 2008 at 7:01 pm
I usually pretend the On-Star guy is my boyfriend.
Meg saysMay 22, 2008 at 7:12 pm
All I need is a map and a compass and I can get anywhere. And also? DVD players in cars? Why, when we were kids, we played license plate bingo or I Spy! And… we… LIKED IT!
Cheri @ Blog This Mom! saysMay 22, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I read to the end! Yay Bossy! Yay Cheri!
Also, I’m ruined now with navigation. I don’t even keep my eyes on the road anymore. You don’t have to look at the road when you have a navigation system. Do you?
kate saysMay 22, 2008 at 7:39 pm
rolling pin. ha.
islaygirl saysMay 22, 2008 at 7:56 pm
i was laughing so loud my five-year-old came over and yelled at me to STOP.LAUGHING. because i was EMBARRASSING HER even though we’re just home alone.
Melissa Weiss saysMay 22, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I’m so amazed that you can remember all those details. I have a friend who lives near Hiney Crotch road. I think she needs to know its real name.
And, by the way, I have to think of you as Pimpy now.
Victoria saysMay 22, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Soliloquy saysMay 22, 2008 at 9:44 pm
The deep, dark recesses of your brain SCARE ME.
Bossy – you are BRILLIANT.
I think you should rename yourself and your blog to I AM BRILLIANT
Lisa saysMay 22, 2008 at 9:48 pm
You actually put your lips near your husbands mouth, egads, woman. You are more ballsy than I initally thought.Nice tooth.
dlyn saysMay 22, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Every other Rd around here is named Hiney Crotch Rd – West Hiney Crotch, South Hiney Crotch, Big Hiney Crotch. It can be very confusing.
But this: “but the voice is pissed and she is carrying a rolling pin”
Cracked me up
Kelley saysMay 23, 2008 at 12:52 am
First of all I am looking at the picture of the rearview mirror and wondering why a finger is coming out of the side of Bossy’s head. Then i realise that the ‘sunglasses’ are actually a ‘camera’ and the finger is taking the photo. Well not ‘taking’ the photo per se, depressing the button to activate the camera. Like.
Yeah, long day at work. Thanks for noticing…
And seeing I said first, that implies that there was another thing. So I better think of something… OK, so does that thing learn? Cause it would be totally cool if you got into it in the morning and it said ‘Good morning Bossy, the nearest McPoo stop is 5 miles’
natalie saysMay 23, 2008 at 3:05 am
i think that onstar would be a great thing to have. living in turkey it would sure come in handy since roads aren’t clearly marked and sometimes just end. it would be hard to keep up with all the changes though! there was a road that was recently dug up because they decided to put a building there. my guess is that the road shouldn’t have been there in the first place, but it was a nice paved road. whoever owned the property decided to claim it so now if you turn on that road you end at a construction sight. i wonder what onstar would do with that!
Camille saysMay 23, 2008 at 3:47 am
I strive to be like you in every way, shape and form. Well, at least in the braverism and professionalism that yielded a saturn sponsorship, and more than 100 people who read your blog.
Do you need an intern?
Manager Mom saysMay 23, 2008 at 5:59 am
Hmmm… sounds like I could use me one of them Onstar things. I have the directional sense of a tomato. I have gotten lost in my own neighborhood…
Mr Farty saysMay 23, 2008 at 9:08 am
You lost me at “map”.
Dara saysMay 23, 2008 at 10:33 am
Woo-hoo!!! On-Star!!! Yay!!! Gross picture of toothless happy guy!!! Woo-Hoo!!!
Bossy is one funny-bunny!
Is it wine time yet???????????????
Have a fantastical weekend!!!
meleah rebeccah saysMay 23, 2008 at 11:30 am
I am crying! This post was HILARIOUS. I totally want OnStar!
Meg saysMay 23, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I found this http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/
Liana saysMay 23, 2008 at 1:40 pm
AH ha ha ha ha! Hiney Crotch Road!!! Hee hee.
That really improved my day, Bossy!
I hope you have a great Memorial Day weekend :).
Liz saysMay 23, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Uh, Bossy’s husband? Could you get some Crest, fer Crissake?
Lisa saysMay 23, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Well, Onstar wouldn’t work for me. I live in South Dakota. The whole state is one large uninhabited tract of land.
aliaspice saysMay 23, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I like posts that start with “Know this…”
Dorothy Stahlnecker saysMay 23, 2008 at 6:46 pm
I get anxiety when I enter a car that doesn’t have GPS or on star. It makes me think there is something dramatic missing from the car and if I don’t have it the wheels or something will fall off.
Glad you got to see how great it is..and when looking for restaurants or gas stations etc…you’ll like it even more.
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call gram
g saysMay 23, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I’m not sure how Onstar is different from the GPS systems in rental cars, but last time we went to Chicago, we had a blast programming the GPS in our rental car, and then deliberately not following its directions. She got real bitchy!
Beth from the Funny Farm saysMay 23, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I have been known to SNARL at my gps unit. And threaten it. And took out a contract on it the day it took me down a back DIRT road with me pulling a 35 foot horse trailer. Nice…
AMomTwoboys saysMay 24, 2008 at 1:37 am
I’d TOTALLY sign up for OnStar if it would direct me to Hiney Crotch Road…now THAT would be an adventure.
Tara R saysMay 24, 2008 at 11:30 pm
bwahahahahaha…. I wonder if OnStar would be able to find the teeny tiny town I live in… population 3000, northeast Saskatchewan, Canada. 3 hours from the nearest city.
You’re jealous now aren’t you.
I can tell.
Everyone wants to be me.
Al_Pal saysMay 25, 2008 at 5:07 pm
The door is a jar:
And yep, I’m impressed that smithkaichjones saw him when. Bill Hicks was quite a comedian. He died of pancreatic cancer at age 33.
I think you might like some of his other stuff–there is some very liberal political humor in his catalog. ;p
Bunk Strutts saysMay 26, 2008 at 12:35 am
Very funny post… I skimmed through it while listening to the Ramones’ version of “Needles & Pins” and somehow the photos fit. Don’t ask.
Michael saysMay 27, 2008 at 6:33 am
–something about needing to be in motion in order to reach a destination, blah blah blah.
Oh my! lol! That’s what I miss the most when blog slackin’. By the time I got to that bit, there were tears in my eyes from LOL.
Sorry I missed ya on your road tripping.