You are looking at a list of appropriate items for a college freshman dorm.
Items that are not appropriate: rice cookers, waterbeds, microwaves, and mothers who are already planning a Columbia University grrlz weekend.
In whatever case, yesterday, Bossy and her son decided to hit the marketplace in search of a few of the necessary items:
Their first stop was a discount department store for a little shoe shopping:
The truth is Bossy’s son is very unspoiled, and for most of his life he’s only owned two pair of shoes at one time: a pair of sneakers and a pair of flip-flops.
But yesterday Bossy’s son was all about the brown leather loafers and the square-toed business casuals. And about that: Cole Haan? Do you know where your collection is?
Next Bossy and her son left the discount department store and went to the mall:
In the clothing store Express, Bossy’s son scored big when he found a pair of X2 jeans marked down from $59 to $29 with a 40% discount, which according to Bossy’s son is $29 minus half plus 10% of 30—in other words they pay you to take them out of the store:
The only thing left to do was try them on:
Next Bossy and her son prayed at the Temple of Auntie Anne’s, and then retired to a bench to check the mall map:
Bossy drove over 10,000 miles across 28 states in 5 weeks to meet her online community, but if her life depended on it she couldn’t figure out how to get from Foot Locker to Urban Outfitters.
Finally situated in Urban Outfitters, Bossy’s son eyed The Drinking Game, shot glasses, and this flask:
And then Bossy’s son met and married a mannequin:
After securing new shoes, new jeans, new sneakers, a belt, sunglasses, a few posters, and one very cute discount jacket, Bossy and her son began their trek back to the car:
And then Bossy and her trusty copilot navigated their way back home, away from the crowds and thoughts of a quickly approaching fall.