Thank you so much in advance for caring for our enormous lap pony while we sit in a trailer four states from home playing poker until the inevitable bullhorn of campground security.
You will find Stella very agreeable and easy to manage. But just for the sake of clarity, here is a list of helpful facts and suggestions:
- Her leash will always be hanging on the front closet doorknob. Unless it is in the family room, on the porch chair, or buried under the floorboards of Bossy’s car. Which is locked.
- Her chain collar is your friend and will help you control Stella if she encounters another dog. Or a rabbit, a person, a privacy hedge, or an odd shaped crack in the sidewalk.
Before positioning the choke chain around her neck, make sure it is in the shape of a P. This stands for Please sister mercy do not slip out of this choke chain.
- And speaking of her twice-daily walk, don’t forget before departing to grab a baggie for waste collection. Better yet, make it a plastic grocery bag or a green lawn bag, and while you’re at it make it two—or do you see that large backhoe at the end of the street? Secure it.
- Stella eats three cups of food twice a day. That’s six cups of food but don’t even think about administering it all at one time. Ever hear of Mount St. Helens? Now imagine it with fur.
Along with Stella’s food she will need a fresh supply of water. May Bossy suggest Lake Superior?
- Like any
control freakcreature of habit, BossyStella gets very anxious when her routine is broken. You will know Stella is anxious because she will lift her head before dropping it between the couch cushions.
Adhering to routine means you may not feed her any food that is not the dry kibble to which she has grown accustomed. Included on the list of Things that are Off Limits are soup bones, chicken leftovers, pizza crusts, and raw hamburger laced with Cyanide.
Adhering to routine also means you may not decide it would be fun to bring your sister’s Yorkie over for a play date in, say, Bossy’s living room. Because Bossy likes her living room, that’s why.
Enjoy! And thank you.