JOIN BOSSY'S OLD SCHOOL BLOG ROLL!

i am bossy

Bossy Sees Your Proprietary Whey And Raises You Some Fiber.

Does anyone remember clear back to September when Bossy didn’t know what a vivanno was, and she held smoothies in the same esteem reserved for things like toe hairs, and she recognized ice cubes as those items she fished out of her nightly gin and tonic?

No, Bossy doesn’t remember either.

Anyway. Bossy is on a budget—which she will tell you all about when hell freezes over in a day or two when she launches her new blog design—but in the meantime: Bossy learned how to approximate the Orange Mango Banana Vivanno at home, using a blender with one hundred speeds, all of them
fooking fast.

Shall we begin?

First Bossy drops a whole banana into her blender and adds some orange juice and 1% milk:

smoothie-1

Then Bossy ads a few heaping tablespoons of nonfat plain yogurt:

nonfat-yogurt

Now it’s time for a sprinkling of flax seed:

flax-seed

And a shake or two of wheat germ:

wheat-germ

That’s a drum roll you hear, because now it’s time for a spoonful of Bossy’s
very secret, very proprietary fiber:

metamucil

Next Bossy adds a cup or two of frozen mango chunks and a cup of ice cubes:

with-ice

Then you blend, although Bossy likes to leave her ice cubes partially chunky. Pour into a tall glass with a straw and serve!

For a month, Bossy has been drinking these healthy, low-fat shakes in the place of dessert! And occasionally Bossy has even enjoyed one of these shakes in the place of a meal!

And the low-fat result?

Bossy hasn’t weighed this much since she delivered her second baby.

smoothie-finished

Reader Interactions

Comments

  6. I have the bananas and the metamucil and the wheat germ and orange juice and ice cubes but I do not have any mangos today. Or plain yogurt. But I do have some blackberry harvest yogurt, would that work? Hmmm….must try this. Thanks.

    Reply

  8. Yeah – I started taking fiber a month ago…. I just hit maximum capacity as far as my weight goes.

    How come things like this never work for me, but my sister in law has dropped about 20 pounds from taking fiber more regularly (no pun intended)?

    This drink looks fantastic. I shall have to try it!

    Reply

  9. Bwahahahah! I’m not laughing at Bossy, but with her. This is precisely how diets at my house work. I’ve been exercising like crazy all summer. Net result? Gained two pounds.

    I would say that eating these for breakfast, with a bit of added protein (like an egg) would be good. But adding them for dessert after a meal is adding another 500 cals to your day. Unfortunately low fat doesn’t equal low calorie. *sigh* How pathetic is it that I know that?

    Reply

  12. Do you realize how many CALORIES are in that drink? Contrary to popular opinion, adding healthy flax seed and wheat germ DOES NOT reduce the number of calories. Would you sit down for an afternoon snack and eat a banana, 2 mangos, a glass of milk, and a yogurt? That’s more than a meal! It’s not fair how we tend to confuse “healthy” with “no calories”.

    Reply

  19. I add flax seeds and wheat germ to my smoothies, too. Also, to PB&Js and waffles with peanut butter & honey; I sprinkle them both on top.

    My smoothies consist of:
    Vanilla soymilk
    1 or 2 bananas
    Frozen strawberries
    ground flax seed
    wheat germ
    almond slices (OR)
    natural peanut butter
    honey
    YUM.

    Reply

  21. I’ve been a lurker, but I thought I’d let you know that I enjoy your blog. I like comments, so I figured so do you. I decided to get off my lurking ass and leave you a comment.

    The smoothies look yummie! I would do it, but I hate to clean up the mess! I’m domestic like that.

    Peace out,
    Laurel

    Reply

  23. I love how your blender has many speeds…all fooking fast!

    I read this while eating my breakfast of plain, nonfat yogurt and meusli with flaxseed meal, so none of your ingredients were too scary for me. Although, meusli is my metamucil apparently.

    Thanks for a really fun post!

    P.S. I love the flower arrangement on the table in yesterday’s post…. the vase shape, the flowers, everything!

    Reply

  26. That’s awesome! I did something similar trying to make my own iced cappuccinos at home (to resemble Tim Horton’s). I used cold brewed coffee and was supposed to use less sugar and skim milk. BUT>>> they taste so good with lots of sugar and Whole milk and for an extra kick some hazelnut coffee creamer too. A low fat alternative they were NOT.

    Reply

  27. The color of that mixture looks a bit terrifying.

    And yes, yes, I thought the banana was quite phallic. Only because I haven’t gotten any in over a month.

    Reply

  30. Love me some Vivi!

    And did you know that whey (milk protein) is actually protein powder, not fiber powder like metamucil?

    Reply

  32. You really do need to ground them flax seeds. If not they ain’t helping, your body can’t break down the shell. Grind some up and store them in the freezer.

    Reply

  33. Bossy can have my share. It doesn’t have enough visual appeal for me. If it were pink or orange, even purple…but not earth tone.
    What time do you break out the gin and tonic?

    Reply

  38. Do you mean before the baby came out, or immediately after? Because either way, I was a big fat-ass until at least 6 months after having the baby. So I think I’ll stick with ice cream. It comes “ready made” and all.

    Reply

  39. Not to change the subject, but does Bossy have a cure for the common cold? I am getting my ass kicked like never before. Somebody suggested dumping mucilex down my pants, but it didnt do anything but itch.

    Reply

  41. Be careful Bossy, or you will end up like me. On both a DIET and a BUDGET. That is not nearly as sexy as it sounds.

    Reply

  45. …I wanna know if when you are writing and assembling a post for us much like this one, do you laugh out loud and say to yourself, “oh, they’re gonna love this!”…lol… Seriously, do you? ‘Cause I’m dyin’ laughin’ over here…lol… First the “fooking fast” remark, then the “or are you just happy to see me” line, then the “corpse hand alert”…(LOL!*snort*) :oD

    …Enjoy your smoothie and I do think it needs a lil’ extra, you know, a lil’ oomph…say maybe a lil’ vodka? Hmmm?(said like the Church Lady on SNL)… ;o)

    …Blessings…

    Reply

  46. Bossy, this is like seven scrolls down, so you’ll probably never read it, but I read in several places that for the flax seed to be of any value, it needs to be ground up before it’s used. Otherwise it just comes out the other end looking like it did going in.

    I use a pepper mill.

    Blend on.

    Reply

  48. It is not possible for me to leave any comment other than this:

    1. I nearly spit my wine out reading this and
    2. You are absolutely, positively, 100%, down-right hilarious.

    The End.

    p.s. Thank you

    Reply

  50. I am, as usual, in awe of Bossy’s ability to sprinkle flax seed, shake wheat germ, (who would add germs to their healthy type shake anyway?), and spoon fiber while taking pictures.

    I know the Other Ree would probably fall into the fooking fast blender and be metamutilated.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *