Every morning of Bossy’s childhood began with a pot of hot chocolate. Or, every morning that Bossy’s milk fanatic family remembered to buy milk, which was surprisingly difficult considering that if the family fell from their high rise windows they would land in a food market, but you get Bossy’s point: she consumed an ocean of hot chocolate.
Made rich and smooth, hot chocolate was the perfect foil for the slices of dripping buttered white toast that accompanied it. And this is the brand of hot chocolate mix that made it possible:
Fast forward a few decades. Every morning of Bossy’s adult life, Bossy prepares a pot of hot chocolate for her daughter. And if Bossy’s daughter were here she’d be all, “Not every morning!” But you get Bossy’s point: she has prepared an ocean of hot chocolate:
Only: something is different and weird these days about the chocolate mixes. Bossy abandoned the powder brands because the chocolate granules never assimilate with the milk, and yes Bossy used the word assimilate when describing hot chocolate.
And so Bossy switched over to the chocolate syrup pictured above. But the chocolate syrup is not the chocolate syrup of Bossy’s youth, when her Grandma Charlotte would prepare a river of chocolate milk for Bossy as the two of them sat in her grandmother’s kitchen watching Merv Griffin on the portable black-and-white TV.
These days, it takes a steady stream of chocolate syrup poured into the waiting milk, and the milk is still bland and white. But pour more chocolate syrup and suddenly the milk turns black and tastes like an ashtray; a powdery ashtray. Don’t ask Bossy how she knows.
Other things that are different now compared to Bossy’s youth: chocolate pop tarts. The chocolate filling is too runny and weird, and the frosted chocolate topping is too plastic-like.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about a product that isn’t the way you remember it in your youth?
And be sure to check back later today for the biggest product failings on the web.