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Everything Bossy Knows About Foot Fashion She Learned From Endless.com.

cage-heels-trend

For instance, did you know these instruments of torture are called Cage Heels?

Opinions? This is Bossy’s: Hannibal Lecter called; he wants his mask back.

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Comments

  1. Yeah, I’m forking out $600+ for that first pair. When I first read the description of those I thought it said “bondage bottie”. That’s my new name for them.

  2. I can’t help it I’m a shoe junkie. If my knees could handle it, I would wear the Jessica Simpson ones. But alas, something lower with lots of punch & style would be right up my alley.

  3. @Debby: I love the term bondage bootie! I think that’s my name for them now, too. 🙂

    Not one of these look remotely comfortable. If I had to sit somewhere and just look pretty – then, well, maybe.
    But mostly, I have to find something that I can actually walk around in and not look like someone who hasn’t yet grasped the art of gross motor skills.
    🙂

  4. I have a pair of sandals that look just like the Jessica Simpson pair. Mine are Gianni Bini from Dillard’s and about 1 inch shorter. Very wearable.

  5. I don’t know… looks like something that the inventor of pole dancing thought up…sexy to the point of raunch.

  7. I think they’re pretty cool looking. I assume they’re simply for standing. There’s no way you could actually walk in them right?

  9. I’m in love love love with the first pair for nearly 700 bucks, and the metallicey steve maddin pair (the last ones). Clearly for nights out when you won’t be standing for more than 3 hours. I don’t care though – being gorgeous is sometimes like being caged like hannibal.

  12. LOVE the Jessica Simpson ones – except, is that a zipper on it? wtf? Don’t like the look of the rest of ’em.

    love the randomness of your posts 🙂

  15. How do you put them on?? Especially the Luichiny ones? Do you need a dress maid, like women had in ye olden days to help them tighten corsets?

  20. ha ha ha… wonder if you have strap marks all over your feet when u take them off. Now THAT’S sexy!

  27. I have the Steve Madden Maxi’s. I wear them to work with a long black pencil skirt and get so many compliments on them. They really are pretty comfortable. I usually wear them on days when I don’t have to do too much walking around. They make me taller than my husband!

  28. Looking at these shoes … To hell with it, I’ll be a masochist. Most of them are gorgeous.

    And, if someone tries to mug me, I’ll go all sadistic on their ass with my shoes … you know, to keep things balanced.

  29. I’ve been wondering who on earth wears the 4″ heels that always seem to be in the Endless ad emails. I don’t know anyone who could walk in them. I love the look of some of those – if they were 2″ instead of 4″, perhaps.

  33. dear BOSSY,

    this is a test, right? like, of my committment to the the poverty party? really, is it a test? because those pelle modas, dear god, yes, i would wear them to the grocery store, i would wear them to the PTA, i would wear them in my house, i would wear them with a mouse, i would wear them here and there, and i would wear them EVERYWHERE. poverty, schmoverty.

    this is just mean, BOSSY.

    yours in poverty,

    kate

  34. aside from the obvious height issues after 2 knee replacements, I would wear any of them anywhere. and, kate, the things that put us in poverty are usually the things that make life worth living, don’t you think? amen to poverty schmoverty!

  35. Here’s where I am on $600 shooz – I just shelled out $9 at Bed Bath & Beyond (discount health & beauty anyone?) for a DIY highlight kit (twice – not highlighty enough the first time), for highlights that I will color over in about 3 weeks. Then I basked in my extravagance while declaring – as gawd is mah witness, ah will nevuh be hungry AGAIN!

  36. WTF is up with “Free Overnight”? They can spend the night for free? They’re free if you wear them overnight? They will be set free tomorrow?

    I like “Bondage Booties” too! Off now to see if they sell matching opera-length fingerless gloves…

  45. 2 reasons i don’t like these:

    1 – having a strap or cage over the top of the foot makes the legs look shorter. i have long legs and don’t want to divert attention from them by cutting off my legs.

    2 – i can’t wear them b/c my arches are too high. same reason i can’t wear many boots and t-strap shoes.

    oh yea and there’s a third reason…

    they’re ugly

  46. What are you all ON about? I wear the Luichiny pair all the time while I do the wash. Uber-comfortable and they make it so easy to reach the laundry soap on the top shelf. Gosh, some people just don’t know how to enjoy life!

    Oh goodness, I lie. I’m groaning in pain just thinking about these. Sad sad sad. Cuz I do love shoes. But knee replacements? Here I come.

    And I didn’t ever even WEAR this stuff! My knees hurt back when I was just 17. *sob*

  51. you could get several pairs of birkenstocks for that kind of money. AND the birkies are better for your feet!

    most likely MEN invented these for women; these things are not even attractive! and just imagine the foot doctor bills…

    nope, no sir, I don’t like it!

  52. OhmygoodLordinHEAVEN! Those are so very truly awful. I’d go into labour if I walked across the room in those things. Mostly because I’d fall and break myself, and have some sort of medical emergency. Not good.

  54. I think they’re cute. I wouldn’t wear them with skirts/dresses because I have short legs and that footing would totally cut off the visual line. Also, they don’t wear well on the sand. In summary: cute, yes, but not for me.

  55. I have to be honest, there are several pairs that I love–at least in theory. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that if I purchased any, they’d sit in my closet next to all those other beautiful-but-terribly-painful-after-three-minutes pairs of shoes I own and never wear (and have very little occasion to wear.) Sigh.

  56. why would anybody fork out this much cash for such ugly – and Chinese-torture-looking – shoes?

  58. are these supposed to be “sexy”? If so, I totally don’t get it. Then again, I wear flip flops 10 months out of the year.

  62. $196 !!!!!!

    Never. NEVER would I pay that much money for something that would cause me so much pain.

    Plus I would look like a complete moron in those evil contraptions… I can see the headlines now…

    “pigeon toed overweight woman found dead at bottom of driveway… police suspect shoes were involved”

  63. Here I am, trying to be good with the poverty party, and then along comes a page of BEAUTIFUL shoes! This is just cruel, like your husband taking pictures of cute puppies you can’t have.

    I’ll take the Steve Madden ‘Maxis’ in size 71/2, please!

  65. I’m not the Liz who thinks these shoes are great. I’m the Liz who has three kids and can’t imagine how I would chase them around the house in 600 dollar shoes that look midieval.

    BTW, I wear 71/2 shoes, too. Word.

  67. Oh I LOVE em all… on someone else. You need 18 year-old knees and real purty feet to get away with those “bondage booties”… or was it “bondage botties”…

    Gwyneth can get away with ’em too. But I feel for her knees in about 5 years!

    🙂
    BB

  68. OK, those totally look like they’re some sort of medically necessary footwear. Or like maybe those way-too-skinny hollywood types haven’t figured out that someone’s making them look like life-sized Bratz dolls? Is big hair back in fashion? Or is that next?

    Also: flipflops? YEAR ROUND.

  69. I believe Bossy would be 7 ft tall in those shoes. The only way THIS girl would wear those is if I got to sit the entire time. And I would also put bags over my feet. They are fugly.

    Of course, that’s just my opinion.

  71. These have to be the ugliest shoes ever. One couldn’t even wear them and sit and look pretty as one would be wearing them and sitting and looking ugly.

  73. they’re designed by a man who’s directly descended from the grand inquisitor of the spanish inquistion. it’s the same lineage from whence came corsets, girdles and control top pantyhose. i not only would not pay for them, i feel somewhat robbed of my usual bossy moment.

  74. Hate to break it to you, but Halloween is not until the 31st. Oh, wait! That’s where the “Free Overnight” comes in… Carry on!

  75. Eghads! I am with all the women who see these as instruments of torture and appropriate only for street corners – – if there is a chair there!

    I get complete foot claustrophobia if I am strapped into a pair of shoes. Can’t kick them off under my desk!
    I am saving lots of money by not buying these.

  76. Well said Bossy! I LOVE fashion and I usually favor a different look, however, these have to be the ugliest trend in shoes I have ever seen! They are going out as fast as they came in…………….ICKY, ICKY POO-POO!

  77. THANK YOU! God those are so ugly…I can’t believe they’re in style right now! I can’t wait until they’re outta here…thankfully, I don’t have any friends/family who own a pair. Hopefully it will stay that way…or else a year from now (hopefully less), I’ll have to say…told ya so!

  78. Of COURSE Kate has been here already and said just what I was going to say! I paid off my credit card not too long ago and now it’s whispering my name, “Mel, you can buy more than one pair. The interest rate is still low!” Bossy plays dirty.

  80. …(*giggle*snort*)…Good one Miss Bossy! Can’t top that one so I’ll let it be…lol… ;o)

    …Blessings…