Please excuse Bossy for not contributing to the Poverty Party yesterday, but she was sitting in the passenger seat of her friend Martha’s car–which is the subject of today’s Poverty post.
Bossy has always believed that pairing-up makes mundane tasks easier to take, and so for years Bossy and her mother have accompanied each other when running hideous errands. But last winter when the gas prices really began to rocket, Bossy committed to the idea of carpooling for all tasks, like grocery shopping.
Which brings us to yesterday.
Typically Bossy or her friend Martha will originate an email describing the thing they need or the place they have to go, and in doing so will rally support from the other, and they take turns driving.
Yesterday morning at 5 a.m.--which according to Bossy’s son isn’t morning at all, but rather very very late at night–Bossy emailed Martha to tell her she needed something from Ikea and she needed liquor and not necessarily in that order.
First they went to Ikea and marveled at the functionality of each of their inspirational set designs, and then they played the Which Kitchen Would You Get If You Had To Decide This Minute game, and then Bossy filled her cart with votive candles. The end.
Except it wasn’t the end, because next they went to Trader Joe’s, where Bossy’s only known enemy in the universe resides: the Food Sample Lady.
The Food Sample Lady must have a security camera trained on the parking lot, or maybe she pays a spy to stand near the carts–but the point is, the minute Bossy steps her big toe in the store, the Food Sample Lady disappears into the back room, taking all of her food samples with her.
And even when Bossy stubbornly plants herself there at the food sample counter, waving at the Food Sample Lady through her circular port hole window, the Food Sample Lady won’t emerge.
But Bossy digresses. Because next it was time for the liquor store, where Bossy and her friend Martha encouraged each other to buy cheaper and cheaper wines, even though they stood blocking the aisle while Bossy proposed her theory that cheap red wine stains teeth worse than good red wine, which Bossy attributes to the tannins or the legs and is there a single soul left who believes any of Bossy’s theories regarding wine?
But Bossy digresses again. The point: save on gas, shop with a friend.
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