You think you had a bad day?
You’re looking at astronaut Heide Stefanyshyn-Piper, and yesterday she was scheduled to participate in a six-hour spacewalk outside of the International Space Station.
Her specific job was to clean and lubricate the gears of the station’s starboard Solar Alpha Rotary Joint, a certain Solar Alpha Rotary Joint that has been malfunctioning. In space. Very high up in space.
But when she opened her tool bag to begin her work, she found that her grease gun had leaked, coating the entire contents of her bag with a film of lubricant.
And then while she was trying to clean up her bag and all of the tools within, the whole thing floated away!
And so for the remainder of the six-hour spacewalk which isn’t much of a walk at all, Heide Stefanyshyn-Piper had to share tools with astronaut Steve Bowen.
Gigi says
November 19, 2008 at 10:28 amI hate it when my grease gun leaks.
Amanda says
November 19, 2008 at 10:37 amThat blows.
MamaMo says
November 19, 2008 at 10:47 amBut really, how bad of a day could she have had, I mean SIX HOUR SPACEWALK – that’s the most awesomest thing ever! Imagine the view!
apathy lounge says
November 19, 2008 at 10:48 amThe only thing that could console me in that hour would be a martini. Think the glass could fit inside her helmet? Hey…it’s my blogaversary today.
LIz says
November 19, 2008 at 10:51 amYour illustrations kill me !!! Good laugh for the morning..thanks!
Jane! says
November 19, 2008 at 10:53 amBut how cool would it be to never have to stop what you’re doing to go to the restroom?
Little Miss Sunshione State says
November 19, 2008 at 10:54 amWhen we visited NASA in FL earlier this year, we saw the IMAX 3-D movie all about the International Space Station.
They made us go float out there with the tool guy.
I didn’t even have an anxiety attack! It was WAY COOL!
heather says
November 19, 2008 at 10:54 amAnd the first thing I thought of was, “Why wasn’t it the guy who dropped his tools? Why did it have to be the girl??”
Dyan says
November 19, 2008 at 11:10 amI like to start my morning with a laugh!
Cat says
November 19, 2008 at 11:13 amI’m pretty sure those unidentified things in picture three are the ears of a giant space alien.
Liz says
November 19, 2008 at 11:15 amAnd how many ga-jillion dollars floated away? I doubt you could buy a tool kit like that at Ace Hardware…
Manic Mommy says
November 19, 2008 at 11:15 amI’m with Heather; I bet the sexist jokes have already begun. Here’s me: “Houston, we have a…GodDammit!”
JK says
November 19, 2008 at 11:16 amHands down, Heidi’s day was worse than mine. Although, I did swallow my gum…
Alias Mother says
November 19, 2008 at 11:21 amCan anyone explain why, given what I assume are the known problems with trying to maintain a grip on things in zero gravity and given the point made above that these were probably fairly, ahem, pricey tools, the toolbag was not somehow tethered to her person? Doesn’t that seem like an obvious solution? Anyone? Anyone?
Chesapeake Bay Woman says
November 19, 2008 at 11:21 amWhat can be so bad about a day that involves lubricants and shared tools?
jp says
November 19, 2008 at 11:22 amHAHAHA…….although I was just wondering if it was a full moon today or what…………….my day has sucked since 7:00am!
Domestic Goddess (in training) says
November 19, 2008 at 11:22 amI am with Liz… how much of my money (and all other taxpayers’ money) was in that greasy tool bag, and what will we pay to send up a rocket full of astronauts to nuke the tools when they start speeding toward earth destined to make the entire planet blow up. I’ve seen the movies… those tools will be coming back hollywood style.
~Monkey says
November 19, 2008 at 11:22 amMonkey hates to be the voice of optimism, as it’s so much easier to be a negative Monkey, but she agrees with MamaMo…lost her toolbag yes. But, got to be on a SPACEWALK! Come on, that’s a day that you remember forever.
Jujupiter says
November 19, 2008 at 11:45 amYeah, I’d love him to give me his big tool.
Jacquie says
November 19, 2008 at 11:46 amThat story just makes me cringe, why on earth (as it were) is there no tether? This is outer space, people!
Jujupiter says
November 19, 2008 at 11:59 amCome on singletons, let’s become astronauts and meet hot people in space!
Lesley says
November 19, 2008 at 12:01 pmOooh. I love me a space-themed blog post. Go Space Program!
And I agree with MamaMo and Monkey. AWESOME. I’d give just about anything to watch my tool bag float away in space. It’s possible I might crap in my pants floating around out there, but I’m pretty sure the spacesuits have some sort of contingency built in for that anyway so…PERFECT!
Lee the MWOB Queen says
November 19, 2008 at 12:14 pmMy day is bound to be much better now since I’m armed with that info…thanks….and your brain just cracks me up…
David says
November 19, 2008 at 12:21 pmI would happily share my tools with Steve.
I don’t think pictures of Heide lubricating are appropriate for a family blog. I get that Steve is handsome, but really…
Oh, wait.
~Monkey says
November 19, 2008 at 12:22 pmChesapeake Bay woman, you win the internets. That was funny.
LisaBoBisa says
November 19, 2008 at 12:40 pmActually Bossy, if I squint my eyes Astronaut Steve looks like Will Ferrell.
I’m just sayin’ is all…
Baby Favorite says
November 19, 2008 at 12:50 pmHow strange! WHY, just today at work, I had almost the SAME THING happen.
‘Cept it wasn’t a tool box, it was a pencil. That rolled off my desk. And I didn’t scream. I just bent over and picked it up.
See? It’s like she & i are leading parallel lives. Eerie.
Momo Fali says
November 19, 2008 at 12:56 pmMan. I thought I had a bad day.
Lisa says
November 19, 2008 at 1:02 pmUhhhh, I see Val Kilmer, and errrr..I would a “lost” my tool box also. How do you get those space suits off, anyway?
annie says
November 19, 2008 at 1:05 pm“Damn!
My keys were in my bag!”
The Cheap Chick says
November 19, 2008 at 1:46 pmYou know, a space walk always sounds like a great idea, until you factor in the floating tools that could totally puncture your suit and, like, KILL YOU DEAD. Walking up a flight of stairs is as far into space as I’m willing to go.
Reeb says
November 19, 2008 at 2:18 pmYou’re better than NPR, Bossy! I heard mention on Morning Edition this a.m. about this (and cringed when they got to the HER toolbox part), but then was doing something else when the actual report came on. Plus you have photos. With captions.
Yeah, it was a marvelous day with a spacewalk, Monkey and MamaMo, but a day with a spacewalk where YOU’re the doofus who let the (unattached, poorly designed, leaking) tool box get away. A tainted memory, I fear.
janny226 says
November 19, 2008 at 3:01 pmGreat post! What are the chances her tools will fall to earth on Bossy’s lawn? Or on mine, oh wait, I don’t have one… on my roof?
Portia says
November 19, 2008 at 4:05 pmThat’s an insult to Steve, he’s much better looking than Tom Cruise and probably not a coach jumping moron.
Carolyn Online says
November 19, 2008 at 4:38 pmIf I had a dollar for everytime the entire contents of my bag had been coated by some mysterious goo…
Helena says
November 19, 2008 at 4:53 pmAll that happened to me today was that I accidently applied a skin whitening face mask onto my face (I’m already the whitest person on the planet). That’s nothing compared to a leaking grease gun and a lost tool bag in space!
pamela from the dayton time says
November 19, 2008 at 5:19 pmMaybe she just donated the tools to a nice Martian looking to improve his lot in life. Maybe now we can stop spending kajillions of dollars on the space program because that nice Martian will take care of everything. And just watch our taxes drop, drop, drop!
Ree (the other one) says
November 19, 2008 at 6:10 pmI hope it wasn’t a Prada bag.
Lianne/Celia, Darling says
November 19, 2008 at 8:07 pmAt this very moment, yours is my favorite blog.
Even if dooce did announce her pregnancy today.
Bush Babe says
November 19, 2008 at 8:17 pmOh. Bad. Lubricant leak. Fumbles. With the ENTIRE FREAKING WORLD looking on. That would be worse than those dreams about arriving at school butt-naked … much worse.
And a Tom Cruise lookalike would only have topped the whole darned thing right off!
BB
Mz. Nesbit says
November 19, 2008 at 8:49 pmI hate that the media is making a big deal about this. Implying that since she is a woman she doesn’t know what she’s doing. That irks me to no end.
Heidi nottobeconfusedwith Heide says
November 19, 2008 at 9:44 pmWhat, no re-entry jokes?
cat says
November 19, 2008 at 10:09 pmI agree Portia (#34), Steve is much better than a couch jumping monkey-moron. But I think he looks like Val Kilmer.
I love the news updates you post. I love sexual inuendo, and you are the best at it. This one reminds me of the Astronaut one you did a long while back on the “crazy-in-love” spacewoman who wore a diaper for the loooong ride to see her beloved and talk (with a bag full of duct tape, rope, a knife….).
kate says
November 20, 2008 at 2:48 ambut don’t you just know tomorrow is going to be worse. steve and all the other joe astronauts will never let her forget that she LET HER TOOLBAG FLOAT AWAY.
Mini Van Bohemian says
November 20, 2008 at 8:41 amTom Cruise is icky. that astro-dude is very cute!
Cat, NASA killed Anna Nicole so we would all forget about the crazy-in-love, diaper-wearing woman scorned. (They would like you to stop bringing it up. Now.)
Jenny, Bloggess says
November 20, 2008 at 10:19 amShouldn’t they be sharing tools in the first place? What am I, made of money?
Mr Farty says
November 20, 2008 at 5:05 pmAw, c’mon! Who among us hasn’t dropped a toolbag at some time in their life?
In space.
Gaslight says
November 23, 2008 at 1:54 pmWoman, nothing. I thought to be an astronaut you had to answer some really hard questions (yeah-election’s over and I just CAN’T stop making fun of her) and pass a non-klutz exam?
I always drop my screws while I’m on top of the ladder, but that’s why I teach 7th grade at sea-level instead of flying and walking in space.