Yesterday Bossy bought a bunch of her Thanksgiving ingredients at this open-air market, where 5 lemons are only $1, and 5 pounds of apples are $2.
The downside of this sort of vendor shopping is the cash-only policy, where cash equals the one-dollar bills jammed in a coat pocket because wallets at this type of market are for sissies.
It’s not actually the cash-only part that Bossy minds, but rather the lack of receipts. Bossy can’t really tell you how much she spent yesterday, because even though she should have counted her money before she began shopping and again when she was finished and then calculated the difference, she is only right this second thinking of that particular strategy, because Bossy = Math Genius.
And the other downfall of this particular open-air market are the specialty shops that line the street on either side. Especially the cheese store, where Bossy purchased a half-pound of Brie and a large wedge of Locatelli while eating her weight in free samples. But luckily Bossy remembered to pocket this particular cheese store receipt, and the total came to $3.27.
Never mind, that’s last night’s McDonald’s receipt for Bossy’s daughter’s Double Cheeseburger hold the cheese— and speaking of holding the cheese on a cheeseburger, do you have any experience with this brand of Ridiculous?
Anyway, turns out Bossy forgot to collect her receipts from the specialty cheese store and the homemade sausage factory and even the fish market where Bossy and her friend Martha and Bossy’s mother sat in a back room drinking wine and eating calamari and fish chowder.
But Bossy’s husband remembered his receipt when he went to the supermarket to buy the other necessary ingredients for the Thanksgiving feast, such as mayonnaise and one-hundred cans of cream of mushroom soup. And that receipt came to $70.90
Luckily, Thanksgiving only comes around once a year, where once equals twice because Bossy cooks this entire meal again for Christmas.